NCT membership

CDP

Hi S@sha

YOu can always have a chat to an inderpendant m/w in your area to see how you feel about each other. You dont have to commit to the whole thing there and then!

I suppose you may feel if you are not going to have lots of babies its worthwhile making sure you get the best individual care for this pg?

Love
Christine

s@sha

Hi CDP...it's because I'm a scaredy-cat! I get really anxious in hospital, even if I'm just a visitor & I can't wait to get out. I'm such a baby over pain, but I also hate the thought of them 'doing' things like an epidural to me as well, or an episiotomy. And I'll freak if I feel they are taking my control away from my...like making me stay in a certain position, or saying I can't walk around or something.

I suppose I just want the birth to as positive experience as possible...whether that is in hospital or at home. I know lots of people do have a 'good' hospital experience, where they are in rooms of their own, can move around as they wish & generally things go at their own pace & with as little unecessary intervention as possible. If I knew my hospital would treat me like that, then I wouldn't really mind.

What I don't want is an experience where I'm in a ward with other screaming women (scary & and guaranteed to raise your pain level) or they decide to 'hurry things up' with drugs when there's no medical reason to do so.

This sort of intervention often leads to other unwanted intervention: The drug often causes the strong contractions to be more painful than they would have been, as the woman has not had time to build up to them gradually. Then this means an epidural is more likely. This then leads to also needing a catheter & the woman has difficulty pushing as she can't feel her body properly. Difficulty in pushing means it is more likely that forceps or ventouse will be needed. All that stems from administering a drug' to hurry things up when the labour was progressing naturally, just slower than the hospital would 'like'.
Wherever I am, I just want to feel I'm in comfortable relaxed surroundings & to know that I can trust the medical staff to only do what's necessary, and let my body do it's own thing as much as it can & not tell me I 'must' have this or that if I don't really need it. I feel that at home you obviously get the relaxed surroundings, you can move around & drink & eat, watch TV if you want to and you 'should' have a midwife with you all the time. So even if you have to transfer to hospital for something, you will still have benefited from staying home as long as possible.

When I see the midwife I'm going to ask lots of questions about the hospital facilities & how they treat women in labour to see if it sounds OK, before I mention home birth. At least I can make more of an informed decision then.

jellyhead

i've just had another night in hospital (on a drip for dehydration - ouch, lol!) and the midwives were all really great. really chatty and full of advice, they say they don't pressure anyone into anything and they want people to have the labour they want. i was in a ward with another woman with mild pre-eclampsia, her baby weighs 6 lbs and she's 38 weeks, she actually wanted to be induced but they sent her home, maybe they only induce when overdue, or in the case of pre-eclampsia when the blood tests show kidney function is impaired. and you definitely get a single room when you're in labour, those ward type rooms are only for monitoring, and on the other ward (i was monitored in the delivery area, then transferred to the maternity ward) the rooms with 3 beds in are for monitoring, people who stay in overnight while pregnant and for women who've had their babies. so you wouldn't be in a room with other people while you were in labour. i felt a bit iffy about sharing a room last night though to be honest because i had vomiting, diarrhoea and really bad wind, to put it mildly i was a bit antisocial and none too fragrant lol!

but if you don't like even being in a hospital i think a home birth, or even a midwife unit if there is one might be better for you. this will be a special experience for you and it's worth making sure you're comfortable with everything. a midwife unit might have a water birth pool too.

CDP

S@sha

I think you sound like you have already made up your mind about a homebirth! Like I said before you ARE entitled to have a homebirth regardless of whether the m/w supports you or not. However I really WOULD talk to a few independant m/w NOW instead of waiting until you get a brick wall from the people who you are taking care of you now. That way if they do put some obstacles in your way you will have already have talked to someone who is positive about woman centred care.

BTW, I too was a right wuzz with non childbirth related pain and managed fine. That is not to say it doesnt hurt but you can cope with it.

Just to make it clear I am not a independant midwife touting for business!

Love
Christine

s@sha

Hello, me again!

Just thought I would pop back with an update: I had my 20-week scan yesterday, all is well....and it's a boy! :j

We told the sonographer we only wanted to know the sex if they were sure of what they were seeing...so she said "Well, I don't think there's any doubt about those little bits!" and she brought up a shot with baby laying with his legs in the air..so it was obvious even to us what bits we were seeing!

Not had much luck on the Ind. Midwife front. I looked on their website & there were only two practices listed that stated they covered Glamorgan, but they were both way outside Cardiff. I thought there would have been more than that. Anyway, I picked one & sent a general enquiry, asking if the IVF situation would be an issue, and what the costs would be if (in theory) we wanted an IM.

Got a nice reply, but not really any good. IVF & my age (37) no problem, but:

She lives 90 miles from Cardiff! (not good really)

Travel bumps up the cost as she charges 36 pence per mile ON TOP of fee of £2500.

She is going away most of August, so hasn't taken any bookings for September ( baby is due 3rd Sept, so that's not great)

Finally ( as if the other reasons aren't enough) she has a complaint against her, and the hearing is taking place at the beginning of August...worst case scenario is she could be struck off! From what she said does sound like a bit of a witch-hunt & she has the support of lots of other midwives & their organisation, but still!

So, home-birth idea at the moment has gone on the back burner, at least until I speak to my NHS midwife in a couple of weeks. Also I found out that my hospital is having all-new maternity & baby facilities being built, due to be finished in July....there will be a new midwife-led unit as well as the consultant-led unit. So (if the work IS finished on time) there would be lovely new birthing rooms & facilities if I did decide to stick with hospital.

Oh and back to the title of the thread...I had my NCT membership stuff through, so am a proper member now.

Hope all the other preggie ladies here are well!

jellyhead

i had a friend who had her second baby in a midwife led unit, she said it was much nicer than a hospital birth, so it may be a good option for you, it's a different atmosphere to hospital she said.

congrats on your boy :-) i'm having a boy too, there was absolutely no doubt. some people i know were told it wasn't 100% certain, depends which way the baby is lying etc. but it's nice to be told 100%, you can think of him as a boy, choose the name and start calling him by it etc. we still have ten names on our list, two of them are reuben and he's known as little roo while in me but i don't know what the final name will be. i got so broody today, it was daft lol! we went to drayton manor and they have a small zoo (i'm not keen on it actually, the tigers don't have enough space but that's another story lol!). the lemurs have babies, they're so so tiny, they cling to mum and just kind of crawl around her body and their little stripey tails are like little pipe cleaners - they were just so adorable with their little monkey faces, i wanted to cuddle one lol! i don't know why baby animals should make me broody, but it's a good job i'm having a baby lol!

i've had stuff from the NCT now, it all looks very friendly but i missed the best open house for me, i was in hospital. the antenatal classes are only £75. i haven't called yet so they're probably full. i'm seeing my midwife on thursday so sill ask her about free classes first. the women talking about their births in the NCT newsletter do seem to be the herbal tea homebirth type but they sound very welcoming. there are two mum and tots groups near me, both about 2 miles away, one is for pregnant women as well as new mums. i reckon i can make both on the bus and still get my son from school on time, so now i just need to pluck up the courage to go to one lol!

CDP

Hi Jelly head,

Where in the UK are you? £75 is a VERY good price for NCT classses! You do know that they will offer a reduced fee if you are in receipt of means tested benefits dont you? also some offer the option of staged payments too which can help. They are usually very different to the NHS classes.

Does your newsletter have a p/n coordinator listed? If so they might be able to buddy you up wiht someone so you dont have to go into the open hosue alone!

CDP

jellyhead

hi, i'm in the midlands. £75 is the full price, not a reduced price, it's in the leaflet i got from the hospital, i'm using it as a bookmark. it's £75 for classes in my town, rising to £80, £85, £90 in surrounding areas. these prices come from my local group so i assume they're correct. i know, it does sound very cheap!
i've got contact details for co-ordinators, i'm just plucking up courage to ring them

s@sha

I rang the coordinator for my area about two months ago, as earlier in this thread people were advising they get booked up quickly.

The classes are £90 in Cardiff, but if you are a non-member they're £126 as that included the first Year's NCT membership as well.

At the time she was already taking names for August, can't remember if she meant from people who's babies are due August, or for classes taking place in August. Anyway, she wasn't too suprised when I said I'm not due till September, & she's got me down on a provisional list to call back nearer the time the class for my date would start...see if I still want to take part. I don't even know if I'll get any NHS classes, as I also heard that the march, april & may classes had been cancelled! Not sure if that's due to the building work at the hospital or maybe just staff shortages.

I haven't had any info from my local club like jellyhead has yet, just my main membership card & bumf. The tots & mums groups do sound like they might be worth a look, especially as they're so close to you.

Bun

Hi Sasha and Jellyhead,

Congratulations on your imminent little boys! I hope everything is going ok for both of you. Can't believe my little boy is going to be one in a couple of weeks. Jellyhead, Reuben is a lovely name (and love 'little roo'!)

Sasha, I'm sure you will be much happier with a midwife led unit if you can't have a home birth. Try and visit your place as soon as it's ready. As I've mentioned before (probably at too much length, but can't praise them enough really), I went to one of these, and you will be able to choose your positions etc and move about if practical, and you will have a room to yourself! Also if you do need any intervention they will explain exactly what they are doing in advance rather than rushing about without you knowing. They just got a consultant in for the end bit of venteuse and forceps and although I had to have an episiotomy, they gave me a local injection so I didn't feel anything. Although these get bad press and sound horrible they aren't really as bad as you think, just uncomfortable afterwards. I had a heat pulse treatment afterwards (and was told I could go back as an outpatient) to help heal the stitches so you could ask about that if necessary.
One last thing I can recommend - if you are asked about having students attend, say yes! You only get the one, and they will often stay on past the end of the shift if need be to see the baby born. My main midwife was a student one (she had an attending supervisor) and she only had a ten minute break in seven hours so she could keep up the continuity of care - she was fantastic.