Bizzare situation - Moving in with partner

Jowo_2

The benefit system is built on the principle that couples provide mutual support and assistance, not the public purse.

Though you don't feel any obligation to take over the basic household expenses met by the taxpayer, such as rent and council tax, your personal preferences are ignored.

If you live in the household, your income is taken into account, end of.

zagfles

This is the reason the UK has more single parent families than any other EU country. The way any man (or woman) moving in with a single parent gets totally shafted by the system - being expected to provide the bulk of financial support for children which aren't his, and with no recompense eg through higher tax allowances like he'd get in most other countries.

OP - ignore all the moralising - I also don't see any reason why you should financially support children who aren't yours - that should be down to their parents. Anymore than if a single parent lives with their sister, like one I know, in this case the sister acts as a second parent to the kids in most senses, but doesn't financially support them, and why should she. She loves and cares for them, but doesn't pay for them, other than presents & treats etc. And why should you just because you are a boyfriend not a sister.

Anyway, that's the way the system works, and because of it lots of kids grow up without a father figure in the lives. Friend of mine in the same situation ended up renting a room in a shared house a few doors down, something like £70pw inc all bills which was a hell of lot less than the hit they'd have taken moving in together.

Debicj

I can understand the OP's point of view. When I got married I 'lost' around £700 per month in tax credits etc. (It wouldn't have cost my husband this much to live separately as he had no mortgage, low bills, etc.) Fortunately my husband is very generous towards my children which is necessary because I couldn't have paid for everything for my children on my own (at the time I was only getting minimal maintenance via CSA).

It was a very difficult decision to make - not only for financial reasons - but living with a partner's children brings it's own problems. Not everyone can live happily like the Walton's! In my circumstances I could fully understand it if my husband refused to spend another penny on my children and I don't understand how he puts up with the way they treat him.

I would advise the OP to think about it very carefully. Sometimes living apart can give the opportunity to step back for a while when there are problems. I sometimes wish we had stayed as we were because it would have saved a lot of arguments. Of course, if no problems can be anticipated then go for it and just accept the financial implications.

mrsspendalot

Nuclear_Tom wrote: »

I have no problems paying my way, but why should I stump up for someone else's children?

You don't have to stump up for anyone's children - it is simple - don't become involved with someone who has children!!!

This lady has children, you knew that presumably when you started seeing her. She works too, so she will be providing for them herself. You would be contributing to the cost of the household, which would mean paying rent and council tax etc - things you would have to pay whether children lived there or not.

I can never understand why people get into relationships with people who have children from previous relationships or marriages and then complain about the cost or take this kind of attitude towards the children. There is a choice!

custardy

zagfles wrote: »

This is the reason the UK has more single parent families than any other EU country. The way any man (or woman) moving in with a single parent gets totally shafted by the system - being expected to provide the bulk of financial support for children which aren't his, and with no recompense eg through higher tax allowances like he'd get in most other countries.

OP - ignore all the moralising - I also don't see any reason why you should financially support children who aren't yours - that should be down to their parents. Anymore than if a single parent lives with their sister, like one I know, in this case the sister acts as a second parent to the kids in most senses, but doesn't financially support them, and why should she. She loves and cares for them, but doesn't pay for them, other than presents & treats etc. And why should you just because you are a boyfriend not a sister.

Anyway, that's the way the system works, and because of it lots of kids grow up without a father figure in the lives. Friend of mine in the same situation ended up renting a room in a shared house a few doors down, something like £70pw inc all bills which was a hell of lot less than the hit they'd have taken moving in together.

nobody is forcing the OP to do anything.
however does he expect to live apart until the kids leave home?
his decision to go out with someone with kids

zagfles

custardy wrote: »

nobody is forcing the OP to do anything.
however does he expect to live apart until the kids leave home?
his decision to go out with someone with kids

Obviously - which is why I'm convinced that if the financial hit on such people wasn't so hard there'd be a lot less single parent families in this country, and as a result a lot less paid out in benefits.

mrsspendalot

zagfles wrote: »

Obviously - which is why I'm convinced that if the financial hit on such people wasn't so hard there'd be a lot less single parent families in this country, and as a result a lot less paid out in benefits.

But if you view your combined income as joint income, is there necessarily a hard hit on couples when moving in together in these circumstances? The OP hypothetically can cover the amount his partner is going to 'lose' and still have £300 a month left over he states. His partner also works - would her earned income be on top of that, as presumably she is not planning on giving up work? Overall, are they hit hard? I would argue not. The problem only arises, I feel, when individuals still want to see their income as their own, and not part of a joint household income.

zagfles

mrsspendalot wrote: »

But if you view your combined income as joint income, is there necessarily a hard hit on couples when moving in together in these circumstances? The OP hypothetically can cover the amount his partner is going to 'lose' and still have £300 a month left over he states. His partner also works - would her earned income be on top of that, as presumably she is not planning on giving up work? Overall, are they hit hard? I would argue not. The problem only arises, I feel, when individuals still want to see their income as their own, and not part of a joint household income.

As she gets WTC, HB & CTB, the combined withdrawal from any increase in family income (ie his income) is 95.5%!! At least to start with, once CTB is out of the equation it drops to a mere 89.5%. Then when HB is out of the equation it's 70%. So yes, the hit is very hard.

Part of the problem is that there is no recognition in the tax credits system of the cost of a second adult in the household. You get an increase if there is an extra child, but not an extra adult.

The other problem is that govt want it both ways. For benefits purposes, they want to look at joint income, but for taxation purposes, they want to look at individuals. Which means there is no recognition that someone supporting a family can't afford to pay the same income tax as a single person on the same income.

Graham29

Nuclear_Tom wrote: »

Hi

I live apart from my girlfriend (60 miles!), but due to me getting a new job closer to where she lives are looking at moving in together.

I currently live with my parents, and will be earning circa £32k.

She lives in a Council house, and works 36 hours on minimum wage. She receives £230 a week (£997 a month) in working families tax credits, £395 a month in housing benefit, and £80 a month in council tax credit.

Looking at the various calculators, if I move in with her she stands to lose the lot, i.e. about £1500 a month. I'll be taking home about £1800 a month, so in reality if we move in together I'll have a whopping £300 a month after I've made up what she'll lose.

Am I right with this or have I made a glaring error? Are we going to be better off if I just rent a flat closer to where she lives?

This situation seems bonkers!!!

Any help/advice appreciated, cheers.

How many children has she got that nets her nearly a grand a month in tax credits alone?! What about support from the father(s)? They should be contributing to their childrens upbringing too. I do see your point, but you have to take on the whole package when you date somebody with kids.

lauzellen

The tax credits may be so high due to childcare..

I agree with people who say this lady and her children come as a package and that you shouldn't even be considering moving in with her when you view the children in such a light!

You are on a decent wage OP and if you truely loved this woman you would her children and so be committed to helping to support them as a whole since you would be a family.