How would you respond to this email, Brothers wedding invite?

POPPYOSCAR

elvis86 wrote: »

Again, slight exaggeration. Nobody has suggested leaving kids with anyone on Christmas day. It's one night. 2 days before Christmas day.;)




I don't have kids yet, no. Friends do though. And I've looked after them loads. I regularly make 160 mile round trips to attend the kids' birthday parties, and in the past I've taken leave from work and driven down to babysit whilst friends attended a family funeral.

Admittedly, if I had children, this would be nowhere near as easy (I've also taken 3 or 4 under-7s for weekends away on my own, so I've some idea of how difficult mobilising children can be!), but I'm confident that I would still do it to help out a friend. And they would do the same for me.:)

Again you twist things.

I did not say Christmas day you are saying that. I said Christmas which to me means the time of year.


Come back and say these things when you do have kids.Other peoples children are NOTHING like your own.

bylromarha

Seriously guys, why are you all still debating this? We all have different lives, different friends and family scenarios, different incomes meaning we can all make our own decision for the OPs scenario. And the weather is a huge unknown factor in this one due to the timing of the wedding,

I said before wedding causes lots of unnecessary upset between people and you're all fighting over a wedding of the brother of someone you don't even know!!!!!

elvis86

andrealm wrote: »

Absolutely, but if that's what they want then they are in no position to throw a hissy fit, if someone, quite reasonably, IMO, declines their kind invitation with regret. They should accept this, they haven't been asked to change their plans, but neither can they expect everyone else to fit in with their plans. If the OP has no one to babysit, then they can't go, it's as simple as that.

Sorry, I missed the post where the OP returned and said that the brother and bride-to-be had thrown a hissy fit..?

Anyway, I'm (predictably) about to get a barrage of abuse from all the hard-working parents because I've dared to express an opinion on this issue despite currently being childless, so will probably leave it at that!:D

POPPYOSCAR

elvis86 wrote: »

Sorry, I missed the post where the OP returned and said that the brother and bride-to-be had thrown a hissy fit..?

Anyway, I'm (predictably) about to get a barrage of abuse from all the hard-working parents because I've dared to express an opinion on this issue despite currently being childless, so will probably leave it at that!:D

The only one hurling abuse about is you.

poet123

elvis86 wrote: »

Sorry, I missed the post where the OP returned and said that the brother and bride-to-be had thrown a hissy fit..?

Anyway, I'm (predictably) about to get a barrage of abuse from all the hard-working parents because I've dared to express an opinion on this issue despite currently being childless, so will probably leave it at that!:D

An opinion is one thing, first hand experience of the logistics of working, having 4 children, 14 for Xmas Dinner and friends, yes, friends to socialise with, is slightly different. And, "Barrage of abuse", please.....:rotfl:.

mishkanorman

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Again you twist things.

I did not say Christmas day you are saying that. I said Christmas which to me means the time of year.


Come back and say these things when you do have kids.Other peoples children are NOTHING like your own.[/QUOTE]


Thats a really thoughtless thing to say to a total stranger, they have already given examples of having an insight into the difficulties of the situation.

I cant see where they have been abusive to anyone, but your comment to me is close to the mark !

moggylover

elvis86 wrote: »

I disagree, surely someone's wedding is the one day on which they are entitled to want everything to be just so? Applying the same logic, your kids are "just"kids, not royalty or Ghandi...:cool:



Loving the vilification of the bride in this scenario.:cool: Can you not accept that the decision to have a child-free wedding was possibly (probably) made with absolutely no malice whatsoever, and was just made in the pursuit of this couple having the day that they have dreamt of?

Why would the idea of "just so" be so enticing? Weddings have gone on since time immemorial, and for many the things you remember and joke about the most are the things that go wrong.

The modern "wedding planner" and "perfection" idea has nothing at all to do with the ideals of getting married, or joining a family or love, it is consumerism at its' most blatant and I remain convinced that people have taken leave of their senses if they believe that a "perfect" wedding video and not a sound out of place in the church/register office is what it takes to make a happy marriage or even a great day:( Obviously the wedding rigmarole marketing people are rubbing their hands together in glee at how easily taken in so many of the public actually are: despite the insistence that we are better educated these days I think I would find it hard to consider that common sense is alive and thriving!

My kids ARE just kids, it isn't about how important they are in and of themselves: it is about the fact that "family" doesn't appear to be worth a jot, and an almost sterile perfection does:( However, what my kids also are is PEOPLE, they may be smaller than others (although not now:)) but they are not some contagious disease that will ruin everything and mess the day up. Happily, they had much more loving and family orientated relatives (only in-laws for me, I'm an only child) and have not been excluded from weddings, christenings or anniversary parties.

I wasn't villifying the bride (although having watched 4 weddings a couple of times I admit I was horrified at the tantrums and nonsense of some of the brainless thereon). I was picking up on something someone said earlier about a chap whose wife-to-be and her family were intent on dictating everything and suggesting that might be the case here. If it is then I sincerely suggest he grow a pair:)

A "wedding" IS just a day and it doesn't make a marriage. A marriage takes consideration and respect for your partner, and for their family (even those you are not keen on) and making whatever effort is necessary to treat others as well, if not better, than you would wish to be treated yourself.

POPPYOSCAR

elvis86 wrote: »

Sorry, I missed the post where the OP returned and said that the brother and bride-to-be had thrown a hissy fit..?

Anyway, I'm (predictably) about to get a barrage of abuse from all the hard-working parents because I've dared to express an opinion on this issue despite currently being childless, so will probably leave it at that!:D

Why do you insist on twisting things? No one has hurled abuse at you for expressing your opinion but you have worded your opinion in such a way as to be offensive IMHO.

POPPYOSCAR

mishkanorman wrote: »

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Again you twist things.

I did not say Christmas day you are saying that. I said Christmas which to me means the time of year.


Come back and say these things when you do have kids.Other peoples children are NOTHING like your own.[/QUOTE]


Thats a really thoughtless thing to say to a total stranger, they have already given examples of having an insight into the difficulties of the situation.

I cant see where they have been abusive to anyone, but your comment to me is close to the mark !

Try reading back through their posts then.

andrealm

elvis86 wrote: »

Sorry, I missed the post where the OP returned and said that the brother and bride-to-be had thrown a hissy fit..?

Anyway, I'm (predictably) about to get a barrage of abuse from all the hard-working parents because I've dared to express an opinion on this issue despite currently being childless, so will probably leave it at that!:D

You said you would be hurt if you were the brother and the invitation was turned down. In the circs, he has no reason to be, IMO. You seem to think all parents can magic babysitters out of thin air any time they want. If only that were true.:rotfl: