Weekly Flylady Thread 21st February 2011

Sunnygirl_2

Well, I had a good cry about everything going on with my Dad on Friday night so I feel like I've had a bit of a release and I'm ready to carry on with things a bit more now.

Had a good chat with SIL over the weekend whose Dad died from cancer a couple of years ago. From talking to her I think I'm going to have a chat with my Dad about practical things - like where is his will, does he have any life insurance documents - what happens with all the bills, etc. as he has always dealt with that side of things and I worry that my Mum wouldn't have a clue. Its possible that he's worrying about things like that too but doesn't want to upset anyone by talking about it all. It may be a good time to do it too as he feels really well at the moment so its not like we're expecting anything to happen to him at the moment. What does everyone else think about this?

DD1's off school with an inset day tomorrow but DD2 is in nursery for the day so the plan is to bake and kitchen clean. As for tonight though - tea should be 5 minutes then early night for the girls and a chill out for me and DH. I might even have a long soak in the bath!

See you all tomorrow.
x

Valli

Sunnygirl that sounds like a VERY good idea.

maybe make sure your mum can have access to bank accounts too - I have heard of people having real problems following bereavements when accounts get 'suspended' pending the estate 'being sorted' (there's a proper word I need here but it has gone and hidden in the depths of my brain.)

Probate, it's probate.

I do believe there is guidance on the forum somewhere too...

there is, it's here

HTH

Lady-Liberty

Sunnygirl wrote: »

What does everyone else think about this?

Firstly hugs ... secondly yes it's a very good idea. I had the same talk with my Dad when he was poorly ... it was a huge relief to him knowing I would be there for Mum .. again when it was my Mum's turn to get sick & pass I knew what,why,where everything was etc.

From the other angle ... some of you may remember I have done a "folder" of useful info for those I leave behind .. I know my time is limited but I think it's a great idea for everyone to think about on some level.

It makes it so much easier for those left behind at what is a difficult time anyway.

Totally agree with what Valli says too .... hope this helps xx

Penelope_Penguin

Good afternoon - my fuggy head is completely gone, thanks to a beautiful Michelin starred meal for the four of us (courtesy of DH's company as a thank you for allowing DH to be overseas for so long last year :j ). We came out totally stuffed and went for a short walk in the sunshine.

Sunnygirl wrote: »

Had a good chat with SIL over the weekend whose Dad died from cancer a couple of years ago. From talking to her I think I'm going to have a chat with my Dad about practical things - like where is his will, does he have any life insurance documents - what happens with all the bills, etc. as he has always dealt with that side of things and I worry that my Mum wouldn't have a clue. Its possible that he's worrying about things like that too but doesn't want to upset anyone by talking about it all. It may be a good time to do it too as he feels really well at the moment so its not like we're expecting anything to happen to him at the moment. What does everyone else think about this?

I think this is an excellent idea :T My mother has always refused to talk about such things as she considers it morbid. She has a point, but as I explain, it's much easier to do a long way in advance I'm a total organisation freak about such things, and my children have always known where our wills are, where all the documents are kept, and the memory stick containing all the finance documentation account numbers and such like.

Going to whizz around then settle down with a DVD and a pot of tea - no need for any more food for several days :rotfl:

pigpen

new thread new thread
new thread new thread
new thread new thread

I'll sort it properly in a bit I am just doing food and getting grots to bed and Freja is very clingy as she is unwell

jinky67

Lady-Liberty wrote: »

Afternoon All ..

Passing by quickly so thought I would say hello ...



Thanks as usual to my wonderful flyfriends who keep me going .. you know who you are :A :kisses3:

xx

I did wonder where you were hiding:p

Mudbath

I know there's a new thread but i've read a bit of this one so i'll post here.....does that make sense?!? :question:

PP – you have a very effective hard stare as I’m starting to feel much better.
Thanks to everyone who sent some ‘bog off bugs’ vibes – it shows the collective power of the flyladies works!
Mrs B - Thinking of you xx
Life in turmoil- I can second what Serena said. Spending diaries are fab as, if you’re anything like me, you start to get a bit competitive and it becomes compulsive to have spend free days (then again, maybe it’s just me that’s sad like that!!).
Kazw – how infuriating about ebay…I was groaning with you when I read that.
Sunnygirl - massive hugs and love to you.
Lady Liberty- hello you! Thanks for cheering me up with your text yesterday. Love and hugs to you.

I didn't read all the thread but hello to you all xx

froddington

silvermaid wrote: »

I think school work is very subversive as it expands to fill every single available space and is even stronger than housework at this!!!!!! Silver x

I agree! My house would be soooo much tidier if it wasn't full of folders and piles of work from school!

Sunnygirl wrote: »

From talking to her I think I'm going to have a chat with my Dad about practical things - like where is his will, does he have any life insurance documents - what happens with all the bills, etc. as he has always dealt with that side of things and I worry that my Mum wouldn't have a clue. Its possible that he's worrying about things like that too but doesn't want to upset anyone by talking about it all. It may be a good time to do it too as he feels really well at the moment so its not like we're expecting anything to happen to him at the moment. What does everyone else think about this?

Definitely do this - Dad and I both know where each other's important documents and details are kept, and we also each have a key to the other's house for use if necessary. (Mum, on the other hand, isn't keen to discuss this) When my cousin died, my Aunty had an awful time sorting things as she didn't know where anything was and my cousin didn't leave a will which meant everything was frozen. Same happened with my brother. I would urge everyone to write a will and to make sure relatives know where it, and other important information is kept. It saves adding to the heartache of those left behind xx

I'm now making choc chip cookies and some dinner.

See you on the new thread x

AnW'sMum

Sunnygirl - An excellent idea and I would suggest (if they are not already) making the main day to day/bills accounts joint. When the worst happens the account reverts to the sole name of the survivor and proceeds as before with access to funds etc. If accounts are held in sole name then they are frozen on death except for funeral expenses which can be paid out directly. If any third party arrangements are in place for account operation then they cease on death (people have been caught out with this, assuming these carry on after death).

Now I had better get some dinner ready as I have the shakes, energy reserves running low after listing Miss A's things on ebay!

toottifrootti

froddington wrote: »

I agree! My house would be soooo much tidier if it wasn't full of folders and piles of work from school!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I see now - why did you not mention this little fact before - I had not realised you had work files at home - I thought that sort of stuff wouldnt be allowed at home or would be on pc - so a solution is required to the mess you lovingly call work - now do not shout at me BUT what about clearing the spare room and making it a study & spare room combined - you need a desk and or cupboards and a sofa bed so that you can still put people up but it keeps your work stuff in one place - do-able or not???????????? ok I will go away:rotfl:
Sunnygirl (((hugs))) i am intotal agreement with the others - its so much better to know all the importants bits now - we had a real problem when my Dad died as he had done everything - my Mum didnt even have a bank account - it takes ages to sort stuff out when things are not in joint names so persuade him to get started a bit at a time and hopefully it will give him much peace of mind about about his affairs.
Lady L hi honey - yes thanks not icky any more but not really eating yet either - no appetite. Lovely to see you - oodles of love and hugs for you precious lady xx
Mudbath hi angel - hope you are beginning to feel better - lots of love and hugs xxx
AnW's Mum - you are always putting off eating - no wonder you are like a rake - eat woman - no shakes allowed xx

see you on the other side
toots xx