Struggling.. failing miserably.. don't know what to do or how to feel anymore :(

SingleMumOf2_3

For those who have read previous posts will know I struggle. I have a baby that crys ALOT. Wakes every hour or so in the night.
I have tried controlled crying.. pick up put down.. set bedtime routines.. no naps in the day. He is 6 months now.

This has been ongoing now for about 5 months. I havent slept properly in such a long time. Even when the kids are at dad I end up lying awake worrying about everything.

I took him to the walk in docs yesterday.. as he was been screaming even more in the night.. had explosive poos.. calpol wasnt helping.. cant feel any teeth.

I have even tried him on lactose free formula off my own back in hopes to find a solution. Mentioned silent reflux to the doc.. as a posibility as symptoms can be simular. She said he hasnt got that because he doesnt vomit (grrrrrr!!). but said his throat was red raw.

Nursery nurse came again and said I need to stick at controlled crying it must be attention.. he doesnt need milk in the night.

But I cant! Have tried it for 2 weeks and it hasnt work.. have tried the pick up put down technique.

I am exhausted.. depression.. fed up.. my motivation has gone.. I need sleep.. I am now barely eating on a day to day basis.. instead eat rubbish in the evening to comfort myself.

Why will no one help me? Why am I treated like I make it all up?
Is that how I come across? An attention seeking idiot who will make things up about my baby just for a conversation???

pinkpig08

Did the doctor say why his throat was red raw or offer any solution to it?

((hugs)) you are having a hard time of it

It doesn't sound like attention seeking crying to me - you are giving him attention and he is still crying. Is he the same when he's at dads?

4nnabella

I'm sorry, I have no practical advice to offer as am not a mum myself, but I didn't want to read and run. I just wanted to send (((hugs))) as you sound thoroughly fed up and exhausted with the whole thing!!

I really hope you manage to find a solution (and again, really sorry that this post doesn't offer any advice...)

Cara79

Didn't want to read & run ~ just wanted to send you hugs!!

I haven't got a little one yet (early days for me) so can't really offer any advice but it seems a shame the doc couldn't help?!

xxx

pinkshoes

SingleMumOf2 wrote: »

I havent slept properly in such a long time. Even when the kids are at dad I end up lying awake worrying about everything.

I would take a guess that this might be a contributing factor.

Babies are very sensitive to your moods and feelings, so if you're stressed and worried, then baby might be picking up on it, making him a stressed baby.

Have you tried gaviscon in his milk?

Have you tried LONG brisk walks to try and get him to nap during the day in his pram?

Babies have a light sleep cycle lasting 35 to 45 minutes, then they usually wake up. Some are rubbish at re-settling themselves to go into a deep sleep. My DS is good at night, but during the day will not nap more than 40 minutes!

Have you tried playing him white noise?

I'm sure you've done a lot of these things!

PLEASE try and relax when the kids are with their dad, and SLEEP! Stop worrying, as worry isn't going to help.

patchwork_cat

http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/what-is-silent-reflux GO back to your GP and ask for a referral to a paediatrician. We don't know what is wrong if anything, but you need some help. Has your baby got anything else, like umbilical hernia, eczema etc.? How is he if he sleeps with you? If I remember you are weaning him, how much does he eat?

Threebabes

I havent got anything constructive to say but my heart goes out to you. When we had our first baby, as a couple we found it incredibly hard. I couldn't believe how tired we were all the time and to say you are doing it alone.

If medically theres nothing wrong, I would let your baby cry. I know I will probably get shot down in flames but with our 3rd baby, we let her cry when we knew she wasn't hungry/wet etc and she soon stopped. Shes 7 now and perfectly well and has came to no harm letting her to cry.

x

welshmoneylover

What about taking the baby into your bed for a cuddle? He could be lonely

Must be awful having a crying baby drain your energy, I think I'd try at everything to get some sleep.

WestonDave

Out of hours doctors are often unhelpful in this sort of situation - they tend to eliminate the potentially life threatening (which probably isn't the case here) and then fob you off back to your normal GP. It would therefore seem sensible given the point you are on your tether to go back to your GP (and maybe health visitor) and start looking for a longer term solution maybe including a more indepth investigation by a consultant.

One thing which I will throw into the mix however is that the symptoms you describe from the previous night are often noted in teething - you say Calpol doesn't make any difference - have you tried Calprofen? I say this because our youngest never seemed to be helped by Calpol (he might as well have taken water for all the difference it seemed to make) but Calprofen often knocked teething on the head. It might be something you can try as its available over the counter but read the directions carefully as the doses and frequencies are different to Calpol.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Does he scream all night when he's with his Dad?

If so, I would insist that Dad takes him to the doctor.

This is because it is all too easy to suggest/imply that Mum is just a hormonal female but Dad is always a reasonable human being. Did it myself when DD was very small - I had been offered anitidepressants because she had screamed incessantly for five days, so Dad took her in without an appointment and insisted that someone saw her and actually looked at her, rather than patronising her mother.

Well, turns out that she had a bacterial ear infection, so he came back with antibiotics, calpol and an assurance from the GPs that they would never treat me that way again.

looby75

SingleMumOf2 wrote: »

I have even tried him on lactose free formula off my own back in hopes to find a solution. Mentioned silent reflux to the doc.. as a posibility as symptoms can be simular. She said he hasnt got that because he doesnt vomit (grrrrrr!!). but said his throat was red raw.

RUBBISH!!!!!! The whole thing about silent reflux is that the baby doesn't vomit, thats why it's called silent reflux and not just plain reflux. :mad:

My ds had silent reflux, diagnosed at 10 weeks old (after the longest 10 weeks of my life with him crying what felt like 24/7) and the thing that made the doc suspect silent reflux....the fact ds had a very red sore throat.

Go and ask for a second opinion from a different doctor, you sons symptoms sound identical to my sons. After a couple of days of Gaviscon powder in his bottles he was like a different child.