Living with OH's constant negativity :mad:

margaretclare

AnnieH wrote:

It's not really him I want to escape from cos he's lovely. But I need a break from the grind - the mundane day-to-day stuff that never ends. The washing, ironing hoovering etc, that will still be there, but at least I won't have to look at it all day every day.

Does that make sense??

Yes, it does make absolute sense. Most women can understand this and some men understand it too.

My DH - who used to be a businessman - tells of a time when he was going to a meeting with a colleague, being driven from the airport, and he looked out of the window and said 'Look at the moo-cows!' And his colleagues laughed feelingly and said 'who's got a young family, then?'

Your brain goes to sleep when talking at a toddler level rather than an adult level. I read some research once which posited the view that a woman's IQ, no matter how high to begin with, actually declined after a few years of this.

Margaret

AnnieH

Your brain goes to sleep when talking at a toddler level rather than an adult level. I read some research once which posited the view that a woman's IQ, no matter how high to begin with, actually declined after a few years of this.

Yes I can totally relate to that

Proby

Carry on ! you know what you need most. My partner can be very negative, unable to see what he has right in front of him-coming up with logical arguements without following them through himself. But over the years I have formed the view that sometimes he is right , sometimes he is wrong and I just crack on - I try to ignore the negative -trouble is as mums, particulary with small children we can be a bit over tuned to the needs and feelings of others- try and separate your self from his feelings- he will have forgotten what he said soon any way.

Plus one job can lead to another- we have to build with small blocks towards a bigger future- you'll get experience , referees etc- go for it!

jak

Well done. Ignore the silly sod. He's just jealous because the worlkd doesn't revolve around him anymore!!!!
GOOD FOR YOU
HUGS

badgermonkey

May I ask why the childcare comes out of YOUR pay? Surely the children belong to both of you - so the cost of it should be split. And I bet when you do that, it starts to make more sense.

AnnieH

very good point badgermonkey:cool:

rainbowrisin

Ignore him and enjoy your job - you've done well to get it, and even if financially it isn't going to be desperately lucrative, it's a stepping stone to all sorts of opportunities when your children are older and you may be considering more hours or some sort of career. Well done:j
IMHO being so negative about everything is your OH's way of exerting control on your activities - is he negative about other things you want to do? I don't want to interfere, so feel free to tell me to keep my snout out, but if this is a recurring issue it might be worth going to Relate or similar to try and sort out why he feels the need to be so negative about your achievements.

Best of luck with the job:D

fsdss

when i went back to work after being a SAHM for 12 months - it saved my sanity, i like you, was bored at home. this was only 4 years ago but i earned £12.50 per week after paying childcare and that was without deducting the cost of driving there!!!! now i'm earning much more, even though i still pay childcare for the 2 days that i work. the reason i earn more is that working built my confidence up again and i started to see a brighter future, and hence applied for other jobs which i was well qualified for.
my OH, was fairly negative to start with and his family still to this day bring the childcare situation / me working - up on a weekly basis for an arguement.
i'm now in the top selection for another job which will bring home more than my husband, (and he's on a very good enviable wage), which i know that i will do well at.
since he's known that i'm down to the last 3 selection of the 2 posts he's suddenly become excited.
the advice is - go for it- he'll come round, and eventually he can benefit.

AnnieH

Hi rainbowrisin, yes he's always negative about everything. Always snaps at the kids about little things, and just sits with a face on the whole time.

It really gets on my nerves.

kelgt

Sounds like we've got the same husband!! you poor thing

Congrats on the job, you do what you want and what makes you happy, stuff what he thinks!