Living with OH's constant negativity :mad:

AnnieH

Why can't he be happy or supportive or positive in any way?????:mad:


I got a job today. OK so it's not going to make me a millionaire. especially after paying childcare costs for the baby, but why couldn'the have just said "Well done babe"! or even yeah that's OK.

He mentioned on the phone this afternoon "You do realsie that you're going to be working 2 and a half hours for £1.97 after you've paid that childminder"


And when he got home from work tonight he never mentioned it at all:mad: I don't need that negativity in my life.

What does he want me to do? spend the rest of my life staring at these 4 walls day in day out? I'm not doing it for the money. I was so chuffed this morning when I was offered the job. I could have kissed the woman. I'm doing it to get out of the house, get away from children for a couple of hours a day (well my own ones anyway) with a view to looking to get something better a bit further down the line. I've been a SAHM for 8 years so I'm going to be starting from the bottom whatever I do , so why can't he just be happy for me


[/rant]:o

carol9uk

good for you, i only work part time, but it is lovely having a break from everything. and well done in getting the job.

if i am not being too nosy whatsthe job?

AnnieH

It's a dinner lady job at a local junior school. Not the school my own kids go to, which is probably better really. I'm really pleased about it, and thank you carol:)

carol9uk

its okay, i only asked as you mentioned children and i work with children. hope it all goes well for you and dont let any negative comments upset you, i ignore mine now.

Horasio

AnnieH wrote:

Why can't he be happy or supportive or positive in any way?????:mad:


I got a job today. OK so it's not going to make me a millionaire. especially after paying childcare costs for the baby, but why couldn'the have just said "Well done babe"! or even yeah that's OK.

He mentioned on the phone this afternoon "You do realsie that you're going to be working 2 and a half hours for £1.97 after you've paid that childminder"


And when he got home from work tonight he never mentioned it at all:mad: I don't need that negativity in my life.

What does he want me to do? spend the rest of my life staring at these 4 walls day in day out? I'm not doing it for the money. I was so chuffed this morning when I was offered the job. I could have kissed the woman. I'm doing it to get out of the house, get away from children for a couple of hours a day (well my own ones anyway) with a view to looking to get something better a bit further down the line. I've been a SAHM for 8 years so I'm going to be starting from the bottom whatever I do , so why can't he just be happy for me


[/rant]:o

Well done :beer:

Concentrate on your career, so you can afford to leave him.

Sorry to say, he won't change - concentrate on what makes you happy.

Bossyboots

Well done on getting the job.

It sounds like your husband is frightened of your new independence or may feel that he has failed somehow because you are going back to work (old fashioned I know, but there are still men out there who think they should be the providers).

This is change in the household dynamics and he will get used to it.

pavlovs_dog

not sure if im preaching to the converted here OP, but have you looked in whether you are entitled to family tax credits, or whether your employer participates in the childcare voucher scheme? help eek out the pennies that bit further :beer:

congrats on getting on the job :j

AnnieH

Thanks. I've told OH about childcare vouchers. I even emailed him the article from MSE to show to his boss. We get FTC so we would be able to claim some of the cost of childcare back, but then I don't know how much until I actually make a claim - depending on how much I'm earning as it might tip us over the edge of being entitled to claim anything back, according to the nice and helpful lady:rolleyes: at the Inland revenue

Rachie_B

men eh !!!

well done annie,enjoy it

Js_Other_Half

Congratulations! As you say, your children will leave home eventually, and you'll need to fill the gap somehow - ignore your OH!

The council you are working for may have the childcare vouchers scheme anyway - mine certainly does.

Good luck!

hobo28

Hiya

I'm probably going to get shot here but my partner & I are having similar discussions over her getting a job so I can offer a male perspective.

We men tend to be logical creatures. Working 2.5 hours for less than £2 doesn't make sense. From his point of view, to have to employ a childminder to look after the children, the hassle of the to-ing and fro-ing etc for less than £10 a week probably doesn't seem worth it.

As I said, we are logical creatures. I can also understand the emotional side, ie. get out of the house, do something independant etc.

I'm in a similar situation myself where I am encouraging my OH to get a job now all the kids are at school. The other week I was accused of forcing her to take a job which had totally unsuitable hours as it was nights when we didn't actually know what the hours were. She went for the interview yesterday, hours were not as she thought. I thought they were still a bit too many but then I was accused of being unsupportive! Go figure!

ccstar wrote:

Concentrate on your career, so you can afford to leave him.

C'mon, you'd seriously leave someone over something as trivial as this!?!?!? Its just life. Deal with it.