4 year old insomnia?? At my wits end!!

Savvy_Sue

Can you get a bed made up on the floor next to your bed, and just let her come in and sleep there quietly for a while? so you don't get her mattress etc, you just put lilo and a sleeping bag there, or even just a folding foam chair.

If she doesn't wake you, she gets to stay there ...

headcrash27

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Tell the neighbour to **** off, it's not as if you're doing it deliberately.

Does she have any more useful suggestions than 'do something'?

I feel really torn about it, one the one hand i feel for her, but on the other i feel as though i should be able parent her how i see fit and not have to worry about her all the time.

She didn't have any suggestions, she said she has grown up kids and knows it's hard but that the controlled crying obviously isn't working and she would appreciate it if i could find another way of keeping her quiet.

jamespir

have you tried putting her to bed later than what she goes now also if shes getting scared of things could it be her room is to dark

headcrash27

sh1305 wrote: »

Is there an event that has happened recently that has made her be like this?

No nothing recently. She has always been quite anxious. She had to have surgery and a stay at great ormond street when she was 18 months and it made her really fearful and anxious for a long time. It has only been the last six months or so that her anxieties have started to improve.

headcrash27

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Can you get a bed made up on the floor next to your bed, and just let her come in and sleep there quietly for a while? so you don't get her mattress etc, you just put lilo and a sleeping bag there, or even just a folding foam chair.

If she doesn't wake you, she gets to stay there ...

I could try that, maybe when her new bed comes i could keep her old mattress and duvet cover. I have trouble sleeping too, so i'm often awake till early hours trying to fall asleep and she usually comes in while i'm trying to drift off.

headcrash27

jamespir wrote: »

have you tried putting her to bed later than what she goes now also if shes getting scared of things could it be her room is to dark

Yes we've tried that, it doesn't seem to make any difference what time she goes to bed to be honest. Her dimmer switch is on low so it's not too dark really, if we have it any brighter she will sit there playing at bedtime and not go to sleep. Also she can stand on her chair and turn it up if she wants to but she very rarely does this.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

headcrash27 wrote: »

I feel really torn about it, one the one hand i feel for her, but on the other i feel as though i should be able parent her how i see fit and not have to worry about her all the time.

She didn't have any suggestions, she said she has grown up kids and knows it's hard but that the controlled crying obviously isn't working and she would appreciate it if i could find another way of keeping her quiet.

If you tell her that someone has suggested you take a belt to her to teach her to shut the heck up, or force fed her valium, would she approve?

Of course she wouldn't.

There is no way of persuading a child that staying in their room is a better option that being babied by mummy that doesn't involve them howling the place down at some point.

Perhaps if you left a blanket and a pillow on the floor and actually ignored her for the entire time she was there, that might be a less dramatic way of letting her know she doesn't belong there at night.

A bit of bravery and keeping the window open and no extra covers in your room might help as well as having it in total darkness - a cold child is more likely to go back to bed where it's warm.

And neither of mine were allowed a nightlight, as the light made them more likely to wake up - after all, if your OH switches the main light on at 2am, are you more awake than when it is left in darkness?


I'd put the childgate on the top of the stairs and just make it boring for her to bug you. No response to her noise, (intended purely to keep you awake and talking to her), a colder room, anything to make her room more attractive.



And one of mine, as soon as her eyes opened, she was awake. All you needed to do was breathe a bit loud and she was there pestering. The other one doesn't go to sleep in the first place. If I'm lucky, she's asleep now - but I wouldn't count on it. However, she amuses herself as she has always done, because I am rubbish company. (when there is sickness, it was completely different - and you can tell when they are genuinely ill)

mandi

headcrash27 wrote: »

I ask her but she says she can't sleep unless she is near me or my dh, she will come up with 101 reasons as to why she can't stay in her bed..

Ahh I see and there is your answer . Your little girl is feeling insecure an anxious headcrash .

I sympathise , but try this link ( fingers crossed for you )

http://www.supernanny.co.uk/TV-Show/Clips/Clips/Stay-in-Bed-Technique.aspx

There_Goes_Trouble

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Tell the neighbour to **** off, it's not as if you're doing it deliberately.

Does she have any more useful suggestions than 'do something'?

That's a little bit harsh I think...

If I were the neighbour I too would have had to say something by now, I get migraines if I don't get enough sleep and this situation would be my worst nightmare and could have me off sick from work for days at a time. It's not the neighbours fault any more than the parents yet there is nothing at all the neighbour can do about the noise.

And I wouldn't have any other suggestions either since I'm not a parent and would have no idea what to suggest. The OP is at the end of her tether, maybe the neighbour is too?

It's a difficult situation and I don't know what to suggest, but I think that telling the neighbour to 'shut up and put up' as this post suggests is not the right answer. Other posters have already said it can go on for years.

Sorry OP, not having a go at you, you're obviously doing all you can to remedy this. Just trying to put across another point of view.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

As there is nothing the neighbour can do, then there is no point hassling the parents to stop it. People don't enjoy being sleep deprived by children's behaviour even when they have given birth to the child in question.

It's undermining any attempts they have made to address the situation as they now give in for fear of upsetting the neighbour. Cue one child who has not been told no for fear of someone who doesn't have to suffer the consequences.