4 year old insomnia?? At my wits end!!

headcrash27

My 4 year daughter wakes up every night, usually sometime after midnight and she is awake for hours at a time. The other night she was awake from 1.30 till 5.15 in the morning. She is completely wide awake and alert and cannot get back to sleep. She used to sleep in her room with a stairgate on and we would just leave her to entertain herself, however a couple of weeks ago the next door neighbour complained as she would scream and shout at her gate and it was disturbing the neighbour's sleep. Due to this we have had to take her gate off but this has resulted in her coming in and out of our room half the night and i am getting no sleep. I am so worried about her crying and disturbing the next door neighbour that i sometimes make her up a bed on the floor next to our bed. I know this is a really bad habit to get into but i don't see that i have any other option as she becomes hysterical if we put her stairgate back on. Before we would just ignore the crying and she would cry a little while and then just play in her bedroom. I wouldn't mind her sleeping in our room so much if she could just sleep! She will lie there for hours just whispering to herself or talking to her imaginary friend! I am just lying in bed and usually end up coming downstairs for a while as i can't sleep. Has anyone heard of this happening in kids before? I tried googling it but most people seem to have problems with their kids going off to sleep in the first place and she doesn't have any problems actually falling asleep. I am thinking of going to the doctor but i suspect i will get fobbed off and to be honest i doubt there is much he can do. She is starting school in September and i'm worried that if this carries on it will affect her schooling. Sorry this is so long winded, i just needed to get it all out really.

mwa

Does she go to pre-school or nursery?

How long has this been going on for?

Does she sleep in the day?

Sounds like a nightmare, you have my sympathies. I have a 4 year old daughter and it is my understanding that they need 10-12 hours sleep a night, I don't understand how your daughter can be functioning properly!!

t_obermory

I've never had this quite to your extent but both of my kids have gone through phases of being wakeful.

I think there's a number of things you could look at, what's her diet like try cutting processed food out for a week see if it helps. How active is she in the day? Could you go to the park or something equally physical an hour or so before bedtime to hopefully exhaust her. What time does she go to bed? Could you move her bed time back a bit.

You could use sticker charts, make it so she wants to stay in bed as she knows she'll get rewarded. My two have a cd player in their bedroom and if they get unsettled in the night I put a story on low for them, its something to occupy them and they're more inclined to stay in their beds.

Some children just don't need as much sleep as you'd like them too, if she's like this its going to be about getting her to understand that at night time she needs to be quiet and preferably in her bed.

Hope that helps a little!

Spendless

Yes, you may have come across my posts about my 10yo who (still) thinks sleep is optional. He does now sleep thru, or if he wakes early he's old enough to go downstairs and see to himself, but at your daughter's age and older, he used to come into our bedroom in the middle of the night. We have a kingsize bed so he used to plonk himself in the middle of us, having got in by crawling in from the bottom. He used to do that as he realised if discovered early on, he would be plonked back in his own room.

Mine just (eventually) outgrew it, but we're talking him being 8 or 9 before he did (sorry!!!).

If she's not at f-time school yet, you will still come under the Health visitor. Why don't your ing her or make an appt to see her.
BTW- she's not drinking anything with caffeine in it or sugary drinks. I know if I have coffee/coke or things with lots of sugar any later than early afternoon, it affects my sleep that night.

squibbs25

You have my sympathines, i know where you are coming from.
My dd is 8 and still wakes up, admitidly not as often now as what it used to be.
I can get up to her 2 maybe 3 times a night some nights.
Other nights she struggles to wind down and go to sleep.
We have tried to teach her to stay in her bedroom, sometimes she does other times she doesnt.
She's already come downstairs once tonight (her dad sent her straight back upstairs).
For me it's like she doesnt know when to switch off!
The lack of disturbed sleep is so fustrating, not just for her but for all of us.
Having an 8 year old crying in the night because she cant sleep is no fun for any of us (neighbours included).
It was easier when she was a baby.

I cant give you any magic remody's but can honestly say i know how you feel.
My sister doesnt even have to get up to my niece in the night as she sleeps right through and she's only 16 months. (jelous....... me........nah!!!!!) :rotfl:

xxdeebeexx

My DS was the same when he was 4 yrs old. We moved his bed into his brothers room and he immediately slept right through. We think he was cold as he has the small box room with 2 outside walls.

Good luck

Dx

headcrash27

mwa wrote: »

Does she go to pre-school or nursery?

How long has this been going on for?

Does she sleep in the day?

Sounds like a nightmare, you have my sympathies. I have a 4 year old daughter and it is my understanding that they need 10-12 hours sleep a night, I don't understand how your daughter can be functioning properly!!

She goes to pre-school twice a week for 6 hours a day, but it doesn't make any difference to her sleep pattern.

It's been going on for about 2 years but it only used to be a couple of times a week. Since her stairgate was taken off it has become a nightly occurence.

No she doesn't sleep in the day, only if we go on a long journey by car.

I don't know how she functions either, but she has always been like this, she wakes at 6.40 everyday when my husband's alarm goes off although she will occasionally sleep through it for an hour or so.

headcrash27

t_obermory wrote: »

I've never had this quite to your extent but both of my kids have gone through phases of being wakeful.

I think there's a number of things you could look at, what's her diet like try cutting processed food out for a week see if it helps. How active is she in the day? Could you go to the park or something equally physical an hour or so before bedtime to hopefully exhaust her. What time does she go to bed? Could you move her bed time back a bit.

You could use sticker charts, make it so she wants to stay in bed as she knows she'll get rewarded. My two have a cd player in their bedroom and if they get unsettled in the night I put a story on low for them, its something to occupy them and they're more inclined to stay in their beds.

Some children just don't need as much sleep as you'd like them too, if she's like this its going to be about getting her to understand that at night time she needs to be quiet and preferably in her bed.

Hope that helps a little!

Her diet is pretty good, she doesn't eat processed food to be honest as i cook most things from scratch. She has the occasional chocolate treat but we've tried cutting that out and hasn't made a difference. We've tried a reward chart but she has had one sticker in three weeks! She really isn't that bothered about it. The cd player idea could be a good one though. I will try anything at this point.

soupdragon10

My DD didn't sleep a whole night until she was about 4 1/2. I gave huge thanks when she learned to read, I sat her down and had a sensible disucssion about mummy needing to sleep even if she didn't. We had an agreement that she could turn on her light and read, or do some colouring if she wasn't sleepy, but she had to stay in her room. She had a safe light that she could switch on easily if she woke up, and this worked more often than not.

She still has sleep problems now at 24!

headcrash27

Spendless wrote: »

Yes, you may have come across my posts about my 10yo who (still) thinks sleep is optional. He does now sleep thru, or if he wakes early he's old enough to go downstairs and see to himself, but at your daughter's age and older, he used to come into our bedroom in the middle of the night. We have a kingsize bed so he used to plonk himself in the middle of us, having got in by crawling in from the bottom. He used to do that as he realised if discovered early on, he would be plonked back in his own room.

Mine just (eventually) outgrew it, but we're talking him being 8 or 9 before he did (sorry!!!).

If she's not at f-time school yet, you will still come under the Health visitor. Why don't your ing her or make an appt to see her.
BTW- she's not drinking anything with caffeine in it or sugary drinks. I know if I have coffee/coke or things with lots of sugar any later than early afternoon, it affects my sleep that night.

Sorry to hear you have had the same problems. Can i ask if you ever went to the GP about it? Also did it affect his schooling or did you find he coped ok? We have a kingsize bed too but i can't stand being squashed in with her fidgeting and tossing and turning for hours on end, hence why we end up making her up a bed on the floor. She doesn't drink sugary drinks as she's really fussy and only likes milk and water. She was referred to CAHMS a while ago as she has some behavioural problems, so i'm considering giving them a call as i still have their number, however they weren't much help last time so not sure how much help they will be able to give.

mandi

headcrash27 wrote: »

She goes to pre-school twice a week for 6 hours a day, but it doesn't make any difference to her sleep pattern.

It's been going on for about 2 years but it only used to be a couple of times a week. Since her stair gate was taken off it has become a nightly occurence.

Maybe my answer is over simplistic so I apologise in advance , but would it be worth putting the stairgate back ?

Sometimes the most obvious of things are not that obvious when you worry about your children