O/S Daily Thread Sunday 13th Feb

Loulou2010

halight wrote: »

I really wish people would stop telling how bad DDs are to bring up!
It dont make me feel any better as iv got two of them the same age, and all this to look forward too:eek::eek:

but they turn out like all of us in the end

de1amo

someone else sent me a cbt course in my mail bags--thanks! i did one before and by the time i was on page 6 of many i felt i was ready to move on with putting another pillar up in my life course.--i joined this site at that time and sorted out some of my financial affairs. i cashed in an endowment that was going no where and did some collateral improvements, i did lots of home improvements which improved the investment value and made my family life a happier experience--i feel happier and love being at home with my 'girls' about me! i feel less inclined to keep looking at the estate agent windows with a view to moving. i do however worry about the home my in laws live in--they arent young and live on the fourth floor with no lift and i start pushing myself to aid them to change home by coming to financial aid thus putting pressure on myself--my mother shows her love to family by financially helping whereas she lacks the warmth!--i love my in laws but i dont find myself wanting to be in their pockets by seeing them every day and they love me no less for it!
i do wonder if the course i need is cbt in this frame of mind--i have had psychology sessions before due to the aftermath of divorce and adjusting to my illness. it was beneficial but just popping to see a shrink isnt possible where i am!--sometimes if i appear to drivel on it is because in my world i have 3 people who can actually speak English to me in life face to face--my wife--my 13 yo daughter and a business partner--none of which can give me the British aspect on my ramblings--talking to family in the uk usually results in them talking down to me as if i am a kid(which sometimes i feel like in some aspects!!)

Loulou2010

de1amo - dbt is useful too

mrsmortenharket

halight wrote: »

I really wish people would stop telling how bad DDs are to bring up!
It dont make me feel any better as iv got two of them the same age, and all this to look forward too:eek::eek:

you are doomed. HTH

de1amo

whats the difference between dbt and cbt??

when i was single i always felt isolated with spending the day typing away on here was a negative lifestyle--i have been here since waking up and apart from breakfast and the odd coversation with DH i havent really 'communicated' apart from here--DH is content and she natters to her mother a lot on the phone and watches tv---i sometimes feel this isnt right!

silvermaid

Afternoon all,
Dear RR, my mum was like that when my dad was ill. I think it just saps their strength like a form of depression. My mum even wanted me to make all her phone calls for her. I think she would have liked us all to live together all the time with me and OH being the "grown ups".
Bitsy I agree with the advice to focus on the good behaviour and praise every little bit to the hilt. Try to ignore any other behaviour unless it is dangerous. It is hard because we generally expect our children to be good and so accept it, any bad behaviour disappoints us and we focus on it. Notice in any gathering of children, e.g. classroom or party, if you give them something, if one says thank you and you respond with "lovely manners" most if not all in hearing range will say thank you.
Well cooked breakfast for 3 adults and 3 children (DH & me and the house guests) all done and dusted. (More than I can say for the house!)
Will have leg of lamb for dinner with roasties, broccoli, cauliflower & green beans. Need to make the lamb coating soon 'coz I find it quite time consuming chopping the rosemary finely.
Newly baked bread being attacked by DGS2 and 3 as we speak - and they downed their breakfasts ok. I think boys have hollow legs!
De1amo being together with my children and their families make me happy - even though it means mountains of washing and meal making for me. My DH helps loads usually. Over Christmas and New Year was the last time we were all together and it was fantastic. So long as you have enough money for the essentials (whatever you believe they are) then you are alright. I have worked with some very wealthy people and many were not happy at all.
Appologies to anyone I've forgotten - the old brain cell is getting threadbare!
Hugs to those in need, Happy Sunday to you all, Silver x

bargainbird

It's tragic about the horses at our racecourse....must have been awful to watch . Poor horses....and it being one of nicky henderson's too (local trainer). Hope they get it sorted

DD1 at my mum, DD2 and DS at MIl:T, DH has peeled/prepped Tea :T, just enjoying quality time on my own .

Ps Bought the paper too for my £5 bodyshop paper need some more of this so it will come in handy

bramble1

They have pulled a cable out the ground at racecourse. So sad. OH was upset that people wanted to blame agri contractors that had been in airaiting the ground earlier, he said that the machines wouldn't go deep enough into the ground to damage cables.

Such a sad thing to happen

Loulou2010

de1amo wrote: »

whats the difference between dbt and cbt??

when i was single i always felt isolated with spending the day typing away on here was a negative lifestyle--i have been here since waking up and apart from breakfast and the odd coversation with DH i havent really 'communicated' apart from here--DH is content and she natters to her mother a lot on the phone and watches tv---i sometimes feel this isnt right!

dbt is a specific form of cbt. they have a lot in common. dbt concentrates a lot on acceptance and mindfullness.

ETA cbt focuses on challenging thoughts so you can change your behaviour. dbt uses that along with acceptance and mindfulness - does that make more sense ?

Molly41

Good Afternoon,
I feel like there is a lot I can empathise with this afternoon and want to offer virtual hugs.
Bitsey - oh little girls...oh intelligent little girls. I remember it well. I can smile about it now but remember being in a very similar situation. A star chart worked brilliantly for my dd - actually still does even though she is an adult now :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

JC - re your DS. Im in a similar situation with my eldest son whose Dad left us when he was very young. Its an ongoing situation with him and he is now preparing to leave home although it will be a while yet as he is paying me back for paying off his debts. He says things and does things that reminds of his dad and I find myself reacting not to him but to his father. Kids Dad has taken over with DS1 now as he is not so emotionally involved and has a much better relationship with him now. Hugs xx

Redruby - I have struggled for many years with my parents before I became ill. In some respects if you have arranged help and they have declined it then you have to leave it be - for the sake of your own health. Explain it once more to your mum (and dad) and if they still decline the help and expect you to do it all - refuse. Very hard but you have to protect your own health and well being as you will be no good to anyone in a true emergency.xx

Well I have had the most energetic weekend - for me:eek::eek::eek:
I weeded my front border and potted up my primroses so they look very pretty on my doorstep. The OS is that I was given them:T:T:T

Today I made Kids Dad a valentines cake and homemade vegetable lasagne (and one for the freezer) and they cam out beautifully. Not often I can do something for him. Now he is washing up:T:T:T

I think a snooze is in order for the afternoon. Hugs xx