baby wipes bad for baby???

delain

Nicki wrote: »

I'm not emanating hostility or insults but I do feel for your daughter. Like her I lost my first child latish in pregnancy, and my second child who was much wanted took a while to happen. And like her, I was determined to do everything by the book and followed all the advice I was given by professionals.

Neither my mum nor my mil breastfed, and though neither of them ever told me explicitly to stop, they were unhelpful when the going got tough, by passing remark on baby's weight gain, expressing the view that baby couldn't be hungry again and need feeding so often, and giving outdated advice based on a model of bottle feeding from decades before. All of which you have done on this thread, which is why I said in my post that you need to be careful not to undermine her when she will already be vulnerable.

I didn't find the querying of modern ways helpful or supportive at the time, but I would have found some practical hands on help invaluable. Does your daughter know you are basically posting a blog of her struggles in the first few days with a newborn on a site with a very substantial readership? If she does, and is fine with it, so be it, but I would have been very hurt by that had I discovered that my mum had done it without my knowledge.

I would probably have rolled my eyes at my mum if she did it and thought privately that it's lovely she cared enough to ask!

meritaten

zaksmum wrote: »

Thank you meritaten, plumpmouse, skintchick and onlyroz. I'd do anything for my daughter and always have so it's hurtful to be accused of being disapproving. I love her to bits and will help in any way I possibly can and she knows this. She's doing amazingly well and I admire her so much.

I posted originally because I was astounded that baby wipes were considered bad for a baby but I now realise why.

It's certainly not a blog! However , Nikki,you are the only person who has seen fit to be so critical of my genuine attempts to educate myself in the ways of modern parenting.

Thanks to everyone who's been so helpful, I do feel much better informed now.

zaksmum - you posted to get information to help your daughter, my own daughter has two kids of her own, my youngest son has three kids, my middle child has one.
IF any of them ASK for my advice or my opinion I will give it. otherwise I bite my tongue! my own mum (whose opinion on some matters i will seek and respect) is very free with her advice and can get a bit annoyed if you dont follow it!
when it comes to babycare there is often a conflict between what mum or grandma did and what the doctors/scientists/midwives now recommend. Its a real dilemma - I understand that, from my experience as a new mum (DONT put baby on its back) to having three kids and some silly tart of a new midwife telling me that I should stick to four hourly feeds when breastfeeding a newborn! I told her 'dont tell ME that - tell the baby!' and fell about laughing!

Mothers instincts are rarely wrong!

you know that - just support your daughter in practical ways and you wont go wrong either! make sure she looks after HERSELF too! breastfeeding mums need more calories and liquids than non breastfeeding mums! and she will still lose weight! its tiring the first few weeks - for some reason everyone expects new mums to be up and taking things in their stride within a week! bring back the old tradition of mums taking it easy for the first fortnight I say! that allows mum and baby to bond and get the breastfeeding established! not easy if you also have to do the housework, shopping etc, I went over to my daughters for a couple of weeks to help out when she had her baby - I was the 'housekeeper and nanny' to GS and let her and her OH have the time with the baby. she chose to bottle feed and that was fine with me. her choice. I think what I am saying is that its the grandmas role to do the practical everyday things to allow the new mum and baby to bond and establish the routine. and to act as bouncer to the visitors!

onlyroz

meritaten wrote: »

and to act as bouncer to the visitors!

In my case it was my mum who was the unwanted guest, after the birth of my daughter. I was grateful for her help, in particular because she looked after my son while I went into hospital, but after I'd arrived home with the new baby my mum just didn't seem to want to leave, no matter how many hints I dropped about wanting my house back to myself again...

meritaten

I DO hope your not my daughter in disguise! I went home as soon as I thought my daughter and her family were coping!

gravitytolls

I always use water and cotton wool for the first few weeks, but once we're out and about regularly, it's wipes. I like to dry bottoms thoroughly and finish with a sprinkle of powder to ensure all the creases are dry too.

If a rash appears, I used to swear by Fullers Earth powder which worked like magic. Igot a free sample of beanthpan (or somnething) in the last Bounty pack, and was dead impressed.

I never put soap in baby's bath at all, just a little oil for skin which is drying due to exposure to air, heating etc. A lovely soak and a gentle rub to remove dead skin cells is perfectly fine for the first couple of months.

jamespir

never heard this before but there always changing the how to be a parent guide

GobbledyGook

I don't think they change the guidelines that often. Certainly there's not that many changes that I can think of between when I had my first and my third.

The only one that jumps straight out is the naps in the same room one, but I can't actually remember them mentioning naps when DD1 was born so I don't recall what the guidelines were.

pinkshoes

If babywipes are so bad, then surely disposable nappies come under the same category (chemicals to aid absorbency), thus is it fair to say that anyone who doesn't use babywipes also doesn't use disposable nappies?!

zaksmum

delain wrote: »

I would probably have rolled my eyes at my mum if she did it and thought privately that it's lovely she cared enough to ask!

Well that's what I'd have done too. My own mother certainly wouldn't have offered to help - in fact refused to help when I asked her! So I did have to just get on with it despite being very young at the time. I did want to be better than that and go every day to help out but I asked what my daughter wanted as I'm very wary of crowding her out - she does need to find her own way.

I remember how stressed I got when my babies were sick or screaming or wouldn't eat and I had nobody to ask!

rachbc

zaksmum it is lovely that you care about your dd and her little one enough to find out about these things - but its her job to look after the baby how she sees fit and you must trust her judgement even when you think she isn't doing it how you would.

Your job is to, quietly, without fuss, look after her - put word out not to visit yet, buy her groceries, cook her meals, run her a bath...thus giving her the energy to get bf properly established

My dd fed every 45mins some days in the early days - once we'd got through the first 6 weeks she successfully bf for 16 months inc after I'd gone back to work - it is so convenient it really is worth sticking at