baby wipes bad for baby???

JBD

zaksmum wrote: »

I'd never say this to my daughter but I can't imagine why she's giving herself all the hassle of breastfeeding. I know it's best for baby and she's determined to get it right...but when mine were babies I just had them straight onto the bottle. You can see how much they're taking and they certainly thrived perfectly well. And I didn't have to do 12 feeds in 24 hours...that'd exhaust any new mum. Baby wipes weren't around then but had they been I'd have used them. Every midwife that comes seems to have a different opinion - the latest said to feed, feed, feed as much as humanly possible to get rid of the last of baby's jaundice. You can't possibly do more than 12 feeds in 24 hours!

I was very young when I had mine and didn't give a stuff what midwives said. I just muddled through and - fortunately - got it right. Makes you wonder though how mums ever coped in centuries gone by when there was no health advice at all but babies still got to grow up strong and healthy.

Zaksmum, I think your daughter will 'muddle through ' as well. I know it is hard to watch our own children struggle with things but we have to let them find their own way of doing things. I'm sure things will settle down for your daughter. She may well take a little bit of advice from the midwife and a little bit of advice for you. When it comes to babies there isn't just one way of doing things.

GobbledyGook

zaksmum wrote: »

Makes you wonder though how mums ever coped in centuries gone by when there was no health advice at all but babies still got to grow up strong and healthy.

They didn't though. Women like my Gr-Gr-Grandmother lost 8 of their 13 babies.

Nicki

zaksmum wrote: »

I'd never say this to my daughter but I can't imagine why she's giving herself all the hassle of breastfeeding. I know it's best for baby and she's determined to get it right...but when mine were babies I just had them straight onto the bottle. You can see how much they're taking and they certainly thrived perfectly well. And I didn't have to do 12 feeds in 24 hours...that'd exhaust any new mum. Baby wipes weren't around then but had they been I'd have used them. Every midwife that comes seems to have a different opinion - the latest said to feed, feed, feed as much as humanly possible to get rid of the last of baby's jaundice. You can't possibly do more than 12 feeds in 24 hours!

If you would genuinely like to help and support your daughter why don't you make a few meals and take them round for her so she doesn't have to cook for a few days, or run the vacuum cleaner round her house for her. You are second guessing absolutely everything she is doing on this thread, and I bet the waves of disapproval are rolling off you when you see her even if you are genuinely not saying anything. Though why are you here asking for up to date advice on new child rearing methods if you are really holding your peace. At the moment you do not agree with how your daughter changes her baby's nappy, baths her baby and feeds her baby. There really isn't much else involved in the care of a newborn, and to be honest it sounds like your daughter is both doing what she thinks is best for the baby and working darned hard too.

Breastfeeding a newborn in the first few weeks can be a gruelling and confidence sapping experience, and no new mum needs anyone around her who is even thinking that she should be giving up, or worrying about a minor weight loss, or posting on the Internet about her struggles with it! To be honest, if I found out that any member of my family was discussing my entire parenting style on an Internet forum, much less doing so in critical terms, i'd be livid!

Errata

A view on babywipes from an end user (pardon the pun!). Last year during and after radiotherapy aimed at my front and rear nether region I was very prone to lots of little accidents. I tried using Simple babywipes to clean up but found a clean flannel each time and tepid water made me feel a lot cleaner and more comfortable.
I'm gradually finding a new use for three dozen flannels

jess1974

I was told off in hospital for using wipes on my 2nd son.....

zaksmum

Nicki, I'm definitely not criticising my daughter and no waves of disapproval either. I have done and will continue to do everything I can for her and she knows she doesn't even need to ask.

Anything I've posted on here is purely with the intention of better informing myself to be able to help her should she ask, because I have to say I'm surprised at the vastly differing advice midwives have given.

Everybody has been tremendously helpful on here which I'm very grateful for but there's always someone like you emanating hostility and insults where it's simply not necessary.

brighthair

zaksmum wrote: »

It's difficult though to get rid of visitors wiithout hurting feelings.

First day after baby came home from hospital there were 16 separate visits! Everyone wanted to stay at least an hour...it was ridiculous. But it's the first grandchild on her partner's side and he does have a big family, and there are a lot of close friends too, and neighbours, work colleagues etc. So what can you do?

I've managed to hold off loads of people like my own brothers and sisters but over this weekend everyone who works throughout the week wanted to visit. My daughter's still on cloud 9 over the baby but is in desperate need of some down time now!

I'd just say sorry, Mum needs her rest and baby will be asleep - but if you pop in between xpm and xpm, that would be great. Say 1hr slot in am, 1hr in pm
Seriously, I think you have to be nice but firm - true friends will understand and family should too

sunshinetours

I think its just common sense to use as little chemicals on new born skin as possble surely? Pretty sure we used water and cotton wool for a while when they were getting used to this harsh new world they have rudely been pushed into!

Plenty of info on various cosmetic additive / perfumes etc in general adult and child toiletries if people wish to look into it and plenty of alternatives. We found Johnson's products to be one of the worst for drying skin etc and when you see what is in them it does make you wonder

I do hate the arguments of "oh well our parents / grand parents did this and that and it never hurt us" It just ignores reason and understanding and totally ignores the higher mortality rates of years past and so on. Not everything new is better by a long stretch, but certainly some things are!

Just use common sense and what is best for the baby . Parents choose to have children not the other way round......

barbiedoll

OP, please, please do support your daughter if she wants to breastfeed. I know that lots of us were bottlefed with seemingly no problems but I was a bottlefed baby and I suffered constantly during my childhood with ear infections, asthma, eczema, allergies and so on. Many other people who were bottlefed during this time are now suffering from obesity, possibly due to overfeeding whilst they were babies. All of the growth charts were recently updated as they were based on the average weight gain of (mostly) bottlefed children. They have been changed to reflect the weight gain of children that are breastfed as they do not tend to gain as much weight and on the whole, are healthier as a result. I breastfed my son and although it is a very hard slog at times, especially when the baby is having a growth spurt (just wait until baby is around 10-14 days old, your daughter will be giving almost continuous feeds!) but it is so rewarding for both mum and baby, even without the added health benefits.

The midwife who suggested formula top-ups as the baby has lost 6% of her birthweight is talking rubbish. Even if the baby is jaundiced, as long as she is fed on demand and at least every three hours, there should be no problem. If a midwife at my hospital was heard giving that advice, she would probably be disciplined for it!

Get rid of the visitors, the baby isn't doing much at the moment anyway, and your daughter will end up with a houseful of people sitting around gossiping and making the place look untidy. Feed her, tidy up after her and accept that she will be tired, irritable and not very good company at the moment. She will cope fine, especially with your support. You sound like a very proud grandmother and I know that you are worried about YOUR baby, but she will get through this, after all, you did! :T

Nicki

zaksmum wrote: »

Everybody has been tremendously helpful on here which I'm very grateful for but there's always someone like you emanating hostility and insults where it's simply not necessary.

I'm not emanating hostility or insults but I do feel for your daughter. Like her I lost my first child latish in pregnancy, and my second child who was much wanted took a while to happen. And like her, I was determined to do everything by the book and followed all the advice I was given by professionals.

Neither my mum nor my mil breastfed, and though neither of them ever told me explicitly to stop, they were unhelpful when the going got tough, by passing remark on baby's weight gain, expressing the view that baby couldn't be hungry again and need feeding so often, and giving outdated advice based on a model of bottle feeding from decades before. All of which you have done on this thread, which is why I said in my post that you need to be careful not to undermine her when she will already be vulnerable.

I didn't find the querying of modern ways helpful or supportive at the time, but I would have found some practical hands on help invaluable. Does your daughter know you are basically posting a blog of her struggles in the first few days with a newborn on a site with a very substantial readership? If she does, and is fine with it, so be it, but I would have been very hurt by that had I discovered that my mum had done it without my knowledge.