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Weekly Flylady Thread 7th February 2011

1…7879818384…117

Comments

  • igaveupnowimback
    igaveupnowimback Posts: 285 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    edited 10 February 2011 at 11:22PM
    Over last few days:

    studied
    vacuumed living room
    vacuumed kitchen
    dishes regularly
    laundry daily (became a habit long ago!)
    cleaned sink
    flung @ 8 binbags of stuff
    flung old clothes etc to clothes bank
    flung old glass to glass bank
    flung dead plants
    flung old printer
    flung old kitchen table
    flung numerous cosmetics, toiletries etc
    flung @ 2 binbags worth paper stuff to recycling
    'speed cleared' one kitchen unit
    cleared corner full of clutter in kitchen
    put trolley there to hold glassware & big table oven
    vaxed livingroom carpet and kitchen floor
    steam cleaned some areas
    scanned & manipulated @ 80 pics for friends
    attended work course
    struggled through feeling down and defeated
    encouraged someone
    cooked for us
    organised some drawers and shelves
    put away clean clothes
    flung, flung and more flung!!

    Progress even if not perfection :)
    Finally Debt Free (£8k to zero) yay! :j :j

    Saving for Xmas 2020 £1 a day challenge #54 £18/366
    £2 Savers Club 2020 #49 (£6)
  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 41,152 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 11 February 2011 at 12:02AM
    seafarers_wife wrote: »
    Pigpen this makes me feel sad. you have had enough to deal with, with your KH of an ex, so you dont need to be wondering about not being number 1 in your OH's eyes. If he didnt want to be with you and the mayhem that is your life :p he wouldnt be with you baby or no baby.

    Yes he would.. he would be consumed by guilt if he had left while I was pregnant and that would be worse now she is here.

    It makes for terrible insecurities and paranoia as im sure you know and it damages the relationship if one person is insecure and the other isnt.

    I think the insecurity is mine and the paranoia is his.. he also has a huge lack of confidence .. he is far too good for me.. he is kind and lovely and sweet and thoughtful.

    If you dont feel like you are number 1 and you should always feel you are the most important person in the world to him (well maybe number 2 after baby but defo should have felt that you were number 1 before she was born) then tell him, and stop running round after everyone, most are old enough to pull their weight in more ways than one and your OH needs to take more of an active roll with baby.

    I was never number one.. if it came to choosing I can think of a fair few people that would be ahead of me.

    I rarely get a conversation, I couldn't get a direct straight answer if it killed me! even asking if he loves Freja gets 'most of the time'

    Half the problem with Freja is that he rags her about, has her sat in uncomfy positions and he doesn't give her enough attention, he appears to think it is enough to sit her on his lap but she wants talking to and playing with.. she doesn't hate him she is just bored or uncomfy! I don't want to feel like I am constantly criticising so occasionally drop in a 'would it be easier for you to do it like this?'

    This wasn't written in a whining tone.. I just stated as things are quite matter-of-factly.. I am quite accepting of facts and things I cannot change
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)
  • sockdrawer
    sockdrawer Posts: 677 Forumite
    edited 10 February 2011 at 11:52PM
    pigpen wrote: »
    I was never number one.. if it came to choosing I can think of a fair few people that would be ahead of me.

    So can we all, however he chose you. I know several girls that MrSockdrawer is close to, but he didn't choose them!

    I rarely get a conversation, I couldn't get a direct straight answer if it killed me! even asking if he loves Freja gets 'most of the time'

    My DH (please choose expletive here if you like or otherwise do the Darling husband thing) seems to be constantly engaged in computer gaming, or yelling at kids, yet, he seems to give the children what they want/ need, because he's not random, or inconsistent, he's just there, he does help them out, and they respect him for that.

    Half the problem with Freja is that he rags her about, has her sat in uncomfy positions and he doesn't give her enough attention, he appears to think it is enough to sit her on his lap but she wants talking to and playing with.. she doesn't hate him she is just bored or uncomfy! I don't want to feel like I am constantly criticising so occasionally drop in a 'would it be easier for you to do it like this?'

    Meh., I feel the same way often. (though not with such a littley that is his own) I continually find myself explaining 22 years of parenting experience to someone who has never had bairns/never wanted bairns. I find it really difficult. He just doesn't seem to get it.
    Saving up £25000/£3500 by Jan 1st 2012 by selling my clutter. Remember I'm doing it for Dad.
    Textiles, languages, travel and a lovely home are not stupid things to want. You have immediate family's support.Appreciate what I've achieved so far. Other people's opinion of me is none of my business.
  • Triker
    Triker Posts: 7,247 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Piggers...me and you need a natter and a 'put the world to rights' conversation...I have some leave to take before mid march so lets organise something.
    DFW Nerd 267. DEBT FREE 11.06.08
    Stick to It by R.B. Stanfield
    It matters not if you try and fail,     And fail, and try again; But it matters much if you try and fail, And fail to try again.
  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 41,152 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Triker wrote: »
    Piggers...me and you need a natter and a 'put the world to rights' conversation...I have some leave to take before mid march so lets organise something.

    I think this is my manic week this month.. given I've not had time to fart!.. so whenever you are not busy.. can't do half term though as I am not allowed a break from them then cos their father is a FW!
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)
  • Lenza_Quidditch
    Lenza_Quidditch Posts: 377 Forumite
    Pigpen - I don't know you really but I agree with what Toots said. It can't help that KH seems to be such a constantly unpredictable pain in the a*se. ('constant' and unpredictable' at the same time - that's some trick). You seem to be (rightly) exasperated at his every move or lack of it with the kids - he seems the exact opposite of OH who is "kind and lovely and sweet and thoughtful" - and definitely not too good for you. You've both had totally 'different' lives to adjust to and join together - eg. him having no kids to 9; you having useless ex to kind, lovely, sweet and thoughtful... and you're together but knackered at the moment - is there really no-one who could give you, OH and Freja a break? Feel free to tell me where to go but I'm sorry to see you seem so 'unsure' x
    Lose The Beef Challenge :p - start 17.01.11 3.5lbs/60lbs
    Tone The Rest Challenge :A - start 17.01.11 Jan 10/14 days Feb 17/28 Mar 4/31
    Buy Less Cr*p Challenge :D - start 01.02.11 Feb £0/£300
    It's not the destination...
    .............................. ...it's the glory of the ride!
  • life_in_termoil
    life_in_termoil Posts: 1,036 Forumite
    pigpen wrote: »
    cos their father is a FW!

    FW ???? Is that a Bridget Jones name (F_ck wit) or does it mean F' in Wnker?? :D
    Sealed Pot Challenge member #982
    In 2012 I pledge to:- Save £1 a day, meal plan, be more organised, have NSDs, set myself a budget AND STICK TO IT, throw all loose change into Sealed Pot and not open it till 29th November.:money:
  • life_in_termoil
    life_in_termoil Posts: 1,036 Forumite
    off to bed got dentist tomorrow afternoon :eek: bloody hate the dentist and he always makes me gag when he sticks his fingers in my mouth!! YUK Hate it!!!

    Night everyone see ya tomorrow :wave:
    Sealed Pot Challenge member #982
    In 2012 I pledge to:- Save £1 a day, meal plan, be more organised, have NSDs, set myself a budget AND STICK TO IT, throw all loose change into Sealed Pot and not open it till 29th November.:money:
  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 41,152 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    no chance of anyone having this lot for any length of time.. my sis used to have them but since she became unwell back in August it would be unfair to ask her. KH knows the only time I get off from them is when they are at his.. I am VERY tempted to start slagging him off on FB, I have his cousin, his mum and 3 of his cousins children on mine still.. let them see how self-sacrificing he is being.. I am rather pee'd off that he has been telling everyone he is giving me 'all his money'.. erm.. I wish!! lol

    We shall see what our next conversation brings.. DD3 and DD4 have been invited to camp in August with church (the one with the vicar refusing to baptise the baby because I don't raise my children with faith!) but it is £109 each.. they both want to go so I am going to suggest KH pays for one and I'll pay for the other.. I could scrape the cash together if I was of a mind to (but I have the bay roof to fix, the guttering to replace and the kitchen to tile!).. but given he has paid nothing towards them and has had 7 holidays in 14 months so is obviously not that skint!

    Anyway.. I'm ranting again lol.. I intend the girls asking him.. they will accept a cheque so he doesn't have to have the galling experience of giving me cash for his children.. 7 holidays in 14 months.. let's see how skint he is.. and let's see him say no to the girls!
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)
  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 41,152 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    life_in_termoil wrote: »
    FW ???? Is that a Bridget Jones name (F_ck wit) or does it mean F' in Wnker?? :D

    the former.. ;)

    And.. while I am on a MAJOR rant mode.. I have emailed the archbishop of York to ask his advice about the baptism.. my head was still ranting and my finger went 'submit'.. and my head went.. 'ooooohhhh...what HAVE YOU DONE!!!!!!!!????????????'

    Anyway.. tis now done.. and I await a reply... with eyeballs poised....

    NOW I shall be away to my nest and growl in my sleep!

    I also found out what Tiddles has been having bad dreams about (other than someone coming to stab us all to death).. mummies... no I am not that bad.. but Egyptian style ones.. I did proceed to tell her their innards are in pretty jars, the brains are mush soup in another jar and they do not do only thing but lay there being smelly and looking ugly.. there really is nothing to be afraid of.. funny things 6 year olds!
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)
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