Less than 12 weeks pregnant club! 2

galvanizersbaby

RedwoodBrook wrote: »

Lovely scan pick! I went into Felix's box this morning and looked at the 12 week of him. *sigh* I miss him.

Got an appointment with my GP at 4pm. Apparently I have to go and see him, then get him to refer me back to the consultant. Ridiculous NHS systems! I am hoping they will offer me an early scan - save me paying for one. I would like to think I am entitled to one given the circumstances. I hope he doesnt suggest I get in touch with the midwife - that woman should not be allowed to practice.

Had a chat with my mother last night, about me wanting an early scan, and her response was "Why would you want to do that, it would be a waste of money. It might show its alive one day but it may not be the next"........Yeah thanks mum. After seeing what i went through I had hoped she would be a little more supportive this time....Erugh.

Can I ask people's opinions on using Felix again (but as a middle name) if this baby is a boy? I can think of reasons to and reasons not to.

Hi Redwoodbrook

I read your other posts and I'm so sorry about Felix.
Congrats on your BFP x
I can understand you would like an early scan - do you think you will have to have the same midwife as last time? - hope you get to speak to someone in the know soon so you can get a better idea of how your monitoring etc will work.

Re using Felix again as a middle name - I think you should do as you please - Felix is a cool name (my DS's best mate is Felix)

SVsandy

I can fully understand why you would want to use Felix as a middle name but if it was me I wouldn't.
Felix was the name that belonged to your other son and is a name that is special to him.

Having said that, it you were to have a boy again, I think when he's born and you see him for the first time, you'll know if Felix should be him middle name or not.

pigpen

RedwoodBrook wrote: »

Lovely scan pick! I went into Felix's box this morning and looked at the 12 week of him. *sigh* I miss him.

Got an appointment with my GP at 4pm. Apparently I have to go and see him, then get him to refer me back to the consultant. Ridiculous NHS systems! I am hoping they will offer me an early scan - save me paying for one. I would like to think I am entitled to one given the circumstances. I hope he doesnt suggest I get in touch with the midwife - that woman should not be allowed to practice.

Had a chat with my mother last night, about me wanting an early scan, and her response was "Why would you want to do that, it would be a waste of money. It might show its alive one day but it may not be the next"........Yeah thanks mum. After seeing what i went through I had hoped she would be a little more supportive this time....Erugh.

Can I ask people's opinions on using Felix again (but as a middle name) if this baby is a boy? I can think of reasons to and reasons not to.

I wouldn't use the name Felix again.. it is special because it is his.. but it is entirely your choice, I can see why you would want to. M friend has the name Isabelle as both a first and second name for 2 of her daughters I don't see why it is any different just because your wee man is an angel.

Mums are great aren't they.. maybe she was insensitively trying to say it doesn't protect the baby from anything.. but if it reassures you for a few hours or days or weeks then go for it.

They don't do private scans here before 20 weeks so I am going to ring the community midwives see if they'll sort an EPU appt. The GP is a bit of a knob and wants me to make an appointment.. and there are none.. idiots... or rather the receptionist does.. she might have to write something down otherwise.. jumped up deluded airheaded muppets....

Anyhoo.. Freja's 'Big Sister' top has arrived...

Apricot

pigpen wrote: »

Anyhoo.. Freja's 'Big Sister' top has arrived...

:rotfl:Yay! Is she going to wear it today?

RedwoodBrook

Thanks for all the opinions. I guess we have some time to think about it! Haha.

I won't be having a midwife, the consultant told me that.. I'll be under his care and seeing him every 2 weeks from 12 weeks then every week from 20 weeks. I think he is going to make any meeting with him quite regular because he hasnt had chance to do any of the testing. Although everything seems to change daily in the NHS so we will see. My practice only has one midwife and her day is Tuesday....though I have avoided any Dr's appointments on a Tuesday since Felix died as I knew I may not be able to contain my anger if I saw her. Silly bint.
I don't mind travelling to see a different midwife. The 'Chief' one in this area came to see me after F had died and she seemed fantastic so I would happily see her.

My "r" key has fixed its self! wehey!

My mum was with me when I gave birth, and she stayed for about a week afterwards, and she was really really heartbroken by his death. She isnt the most sensitive of people, but i thought she understood how much we wanted this. We were robbed last time and all I want is a chance to be a parent. Like she is.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY TRAVEL SYSTEM JUST ARRIVED! :d:d:d:d

galvanizersbaby

RedwoodBrook wrote: »

Thanks for all the opinions. I guess we have some time to think about it! Haha.

I won't be having a midwife, the consultant told me that.. I'll be under his care and seeing him every 2 weeks from 12 weeks then every week from 20 weeks. I think he is going to make any meeting with him quite regular because he hasnt had chance to do any of the testing. Although everything seems to change daily in the NHS so we will see. My practice only has one midwife and her day is Tuesday....though I have avoided any Dr's appointments on a Tuesday since Felix died as I knew I may not be able to contain my anger if I saw her. Silly bint.
I don't mind travelling to see a different midwife. The 'Chief' one in this area came to see me after F had died and she seemed fantastic so I would happily see her.

My "r" key has fixed its self! wehey!

My mum was with me when I gave birth, and she stayed for about a week afterwards, and she was really really heartbroken by his death. She isnt the most sensitive of people, but i thought she understood how much we wanted this. We were robbed last time and all I want is a chance to be a parent. Like she is.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY TRAVEL SYSTEM JUST ARRIVED! :d:d:d:d

Was the midwife negligent in your previous pregnancy?

Glad you will be getting such regular appointments with the consultant - much more reassuring

pigpen

Apricot wrote: »

:rotfl:Yay! Is she going to wear it today?

Nah.. can't be arrissed to dress her... maybe tomorrow.. or wednesday or next week.. or sometime in October lol

RedwoodBrook

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

Was the midwife negligent in your previous pregnancy?

IMO, and in that of the consultant, Yes. My son didn't die as a direct result of it, but she (along with everyone else who saw me) should have noticed the problems with him - particularly his size.

She also should have given me the same care after the birth and she gives to everyone who goes home with their baby. Thats what my real gripe is. I had numerous complictions afterwards which I am told could and should have all been avoided.

Still, I will eventually stop rambling on about the past. If I work out how, I will upload a pic of Felix if you want to see him. He was gorgeous
I am really looking forward to collecting his headstone.

pigpen

I would be honoured if you felt able to share a pic of Felix with us, I would love to see him, put a little face to the name.. but I fear some of the ladies would be upset so is it possible to put the link to the pic so those who feel able can see him? I hope you understand, I don't wish to upset you... you are being so strong and doing so well.

is it possible your mum is trying to not be 'attached' to your new baby because she can't bear the pain of her grief for Felix? It may be her way of dealing at the moment.

RedwoodBrook

pigpen wrote: »

I would be honoured if you felt able to share a pic of Felix with us, I would love to see him, put a little face to the name.. but I fear some of the ladies would be upset so is it possible to put the link to the pic so those who feel able can see him? I hope you understand, I don't wish to upset you... you are being so strong and doing so well.

is it possible your mum is trying to not be 'attached' to your new baby because she can't bear the pain of her grief for Felix? It may be her way of dealing at the moment.

You're totally right. I didnt even think. He just looks like a normal little baby though, but asleep. I will have a bash at it after i have been to the GP. And try set up some sort of link.

My mum didnt want me to have Felix, and she certianly didnt want me to have another one. But knows she lost the ability to influence my decisions many years ago and I think her way of dealing with it is just to pretend its not happening. If I can tell her its a little girl, she will be much more enthusiastic....she is not a huge lover of men!