Nursery - advice please,,,,,

moonbeam2007

dangers wrote: »

It might help if he nursery has something along the lines of a visual timetable or can say to your ds; right we are going to have some play, then snack, then another play followed by story and then it will be home time -this depends upon their routine of course. I had one yesterday who just before snack said "Mummy here now?" and I replied that no, it was snack time, then we would have another play and then mummy would come. That satisified the little one.

I took him back after he'd be off sick for a week and he cried the whole way to the nursery it was heart breaking but I kept saying 'Mummy always comes back'. We got there and he was still crying saying 'please don't leave me'

THEN a teacher walked over and just like that the tears stopped 'Rachel' he said, she picked him up [something my son doesn't let them do ever before] and she asked him if he wanted to go and play, he said yes. I gave him a kiss and said Mummy be back soon make me something nice, and left. NO TEARS :T :T

The next session same thing he was upset until he got there and he asked me to stay but I said I'll be back soon, he didn't cry again but could see in his face he was trying to be brave.

I'm so proud of him A little while longer and I'm hoping he'll be skipping to Nursery :rotfl:

SingleMumOf2_3

It is hard, I went through it for a few weeks with my 2 year old when he started 2 mornings a week. Def don't tell him your going to the loo or nipping to get something.. as then he realises you have lied after a while. Be honest with him. I used to say "give mummy kisses and cuddles.. I will be back very soon.. then we will be doing *insert something fun*.. eg.. painting, to the park etc).. or if you have limited time.. try a little present, or some stickers maybe?
It is hard.. the nursery where my son goes to is easier for it.. because they have a big screen with cctv in every room. So I would stand and watch him until he had calmed down. And I realised that each day he would settle so much quicker than the day before. He is now at the point where I have to ASK for kisses and cuddles.. he just wanders in and doesnt bother about me leaving. It is heartbreaking when they are at the screaming and begging stage.. makes you feel so mean! But it does pass. And its something he has to go through.. as once they hit school they HAVE to go.

Try and be as consistent as you can. Speak to the staff for reassurrance. If you are really really worried maybe ask if you can ring them half an hour or an hour after leaving him to make sure he is ok. (though I am sure if he wasnt they would ring you anyway).

Most times by the time you collect them it is all forgotten and they have had a lovely day of playing

SingleMumOf2_3

Can I also add that if my son misses nursery because he is ill, or when we have half term and there is a break. We always have tears for at least a few days when he goes back. Because its a change in his routine and for that week or 2 he gets used to not going to nursery and instead being with mummy all week.

Molly41

How about a star chart with daily, weekly and maybe a big treat every few weeks. Let him help you make it, choose stars and rewards. It will work and he will help both of you establish your boundaries.

moonbeam2007

Molly41 wrote: »

How about a star chart with daily, weekly and maybe a big treat every few weeks. Let him help you make it, choose stars and rewards. It will work and he will help both of you establish your boundaries.

We use a star chart.
All seems to be going well and what a complete turn around a few days made. I wish I had done this months ago.

He now loves it and even waves me off at the door :eek:

I'm so please and so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, proud of my brave little man :T:)

Nicki

Is there a way of saying without being patronizing that you should be proud of yourself too! It's easy to say leave them at the door with a breezy wave and a see you later, but far far harder to do in practise with a sobbing child. You've done really well by your little man though to get him to this point.

moonbeam2007

Nicki wrote: »

Is there a way of saying without being patronizing that you should be proud of yourself too! It's easy to say leave them at the door with a breezy wave and a see you later, but far far harder to do in practise with a sobbing child. You've done really well by your little man though to get him to this point.

Aww Thank you Nicki that put a lump in my throat

It was the hardest thing to do seeing my little man cry and having to walk away, took only 2 sessions and he was ok. If I knew this months ago I'd of done it and saved months of me sitting with him having cuddles and kisses as I couldn't cope to leave him upset.

It's half term now and everyday he asks to go

Amazing in the complete turn around but I couldn't be happier and the fact he lets a teacher give him a cuddle is a big thing for my son he never would have done that before and really puts me at ease.

Thanks everyone for all the wonderful advice x

rachbc

what a fab happy ending- for both you and ds! And well done you for acknowledging the problem and having the guts to act...you should be very proud of you both x

sassyblue

moonbeam2007 wrote: »

Aww Thank you Nicki that put a lump in my throat

It was the hardest thing to do seeing my little man cry and having to walk away, took only 2 sessions and he was ok. If I knew this months ago I'd of done it and saved months of me sitting with him having cuddles and kisses as I couldn't cope to leave him upset.

It's half term now and everyday he asks to go

Amazing in the complete turn around but I couldn't be happier and the fact he lets a teacher give him a cuddle is a big thing for my son he never would have done that before and really puts me at ease.

Thanks everyone for all the wonderful advice x

Wow l'm so pleased before l got to the end of the thread your son was sorted out!

Leaving quickly was the best thing for my little one, that and the realisation that l was coming back for him and he wasn't 'going to live at nursery' !! :eek: