Friends want us to RSVP 6 months before big day!

Kildare

Both gift lists and inviting children to a wedding are contentious issues - I think you have to base it on your family and friends and what has previously happened at weddings you have been invited to within that group. We have gone with a John Lewis gift list and on the invitation I have put "Although we have lived together for a while most of what we own is mismatched. If you would like to get us something we have set up a gift list with John Lewis. Please
see the enclosed card for further information." (john lewis give you nicely worded cards to include). But this comes down to knowing my family - they expect a gift list (some had already asked my parents).

On the children issue, we're the same as redfiesta1979 - we can't afford to have all the family and friends we'd like if we invited all their children. So we have put "As we are lucky to have a lot of family and friends we are unfortunately only able to invite the grown-ups." We spoke to anyone who we thought would have a major issue with it well in advance so the invite wouldn't come as a surprise, but the last few weddings I've been to have been adults only so I don't think people will be shocked.

joho

We gave our guests an RSVP date in December 2010, for our wedding in September 2011 because we are having the wedding abroad, and we wanted people to be able to plan their holidays, not have booked a summer holiday before getting the invite (and then not be able to come to the wedding if they wanted) and to give them plenty of time to save up and/or pay for the trip. Don't most people who take holidays abroad start planning them around Christmas/New Year (even if they can't book them just yet at work?) - or is that just us?

We also needed to know numbers as quickly as possible because the venue we chose was limited and we would have had to choose another venue if a lot of extra people accepted. (We kind of had a good idea of people that wouldn't be able to make it because of the time of year.)

I understand the arguments about not being able to book holidays yet, but I think you can still plan what you are going to do with a holiday before it is booked off work. I also understand the argument about a lot changing in 8 or 9 months for the guests, but we genuinely thought we were doing the best thing by giving plenty of notice.

However, sometimes you can't win either way. Even now some of our guests have not even acknowledged receipt of the invites (not by Facebook, email, text or anything), never mind actually accepted or declined. If they do turn up on the day, they won't be getting fed but are very welcome to join the party after the main meal.

ETA: we are not asking for, nor do we expect, any gifts/cash/vouchers at all - from anyone, but least of all from the people that are coming to the wedding! And we have said so in the invites.

Another ETA: Personally I'd rather have an early yes and then someone find they can't come later on. It's much easier to lose people than it is to have to squeeze them in at the last minute, I think.

Smookle

We're sending out our invitations at the end of the month with an RSVP for middle of May for our end of August Wedding. We're getting married on the friday of the august bank holiday weekend, and live in a popular tourist destination in Devon, so wanted to a)give people plenty of time to get off work, and b)book accommodation early!

Haven't fully decided on gift lists yet, but probably won't have one. Think we'll end up going for word of mouth 'please get them money or b+q/homebase vouchers'.