Update from me (and I need a chat!)

moozie_2

You are right not to hurry, these things take time!

Your parents sound amazing Kath. I think that every time you mention them.

Keep thinking this over and I am sure you'll be on the right track before you know it. It sounds like more doors are opening every day which is what I like to hear for you

MinnieSpender

Hi Kath

Just dropping in during a coffee break (time out from essay writing ... I won't bore you with the details!).

It's so good to read your latest posts - you're so much more positive! Hurrah! I feel almost inspired to update my own thread...

Keep it up!

moozie_2

MinnieSpender wrote:

I feel almost inspired to update my own thread...

Hi Min, can't wait to read the update! You know how much we love an update around here!

ZTD

kathfisch wrote:

I need to be committed and really willing to push myself. And I don't know how I feel about that right now. I've simultaneously got a taste of the world I'd like to be completely involved in, and a sense of how hard that would be. I've got to really want it and right now i don't know what I want!

Well the first thing you need to do is rediscover your entusiasm for your art. Without that, this is going to be hard and interminable torture. You can be the 2%. You have the talent, you just need the commitment. With the passion comes the commitment.

And as black-saturn has for her sig "Find a job you love and you'll never have to do a days work again."

kathfisch

moozie wrote:

You are right not to hurry, these things take time!

Your parents sound amazing Kath. I think that every time you mention them.

Keep thinking this over and I am sure you'll be on the right track before you know it. It sounds like more doors are opening every day which is what I like to hear for you

They are amazing :happyhear

I'm just incredibly lucky that they worked hard for so long to be earning good salaries and can afford (and want) to help support me at the moment. But the money's just a little bit of it, I'm just really lucky to have them!

Anyway... i'm sure you're right, something will come along.

My best friend was round yesterday evening and was in tears over his job, basically being bullied and having an awful time, in a job that seemed fine a few weeks ago. Just made me think, this job business isn't easy at all :rolleyes: Obvious statement, I know!

kathfisch

ZTD wrote:

Well the first thing you need to do is rediscover your entusiasm for your art. Without that, this is going to be hard and interminable torture. You can be the 2%. You have the talent, you just need the commitment. With the passion comes the commitment.

And as black-saturn has for her sig "Find a job you love and you'll never have to do a days work again."

Well, yes and no. Its more like... discover whether I have the enthusiasm for my art. Not in a 'oh its too hard, I'm scared of failing so I won't do it' kind of way... just whether I honestly deep down want to do it. I've always felt like a bit of a sham as an artist, there's just something about it that's not quite 'me'. I'm not spontaneously producing things... I've followed it as an enjoyable and fulfilling study path... but its not exactly me.

You guys have helped me see that if I want to do it I can, I've got over that hurdle... I can achieve anything I want if only I had the foggiest what that was!! :rotfl:

I might decide I have the enthusiasm, I might not, we'll see!

MinnieSpender

moozie wrote:

Hi Min, can't wait to read the update! You know how much we love an update around here!

Done!

Sorry to hijack your thread Kath!

MinnieSpender

kathfisch wrote:

Well, yes and no. Its more like... discover whether I have the enthusiasm for my art. Not in a 'oh its too hard, I'm scared of failing so I won't do it' kind of way... just whether I honestly deep down want to do it. I've always felt like a bit of a sham as an artist, there's just something about it that's not quite 'me'. I'm not spontaneously producing things... I've followed it as an enjoyable and fulfilling study path... but its not exactly me.

You guys have helped me see that if I want to do it I can, I've got over that hurdle... I can achieve anything I want if only I had the foggiest what that was!! :rotfl:

I might decide I have the enthusiasm, I might not, we'll see!

Kath - the thing to do is to find a way to make being an artist YOUR OWN. If you feel like a kathfisch out of water, then find a different pond.

I've never found a place which feels truly my own either. So I just make it up as I go along. And it's come to suit me.

You will get there. Just give it time, space and a little fischy magic.

kathfisch

Ok, inspired by LA's 'rambling' thread I thought I'd post here again and wow, I didn't realise how long it was since I had!!

Bit of an update... i.e. rambling.....

I've had an interview for the volunteering thing which went well, looks like I might do that after an american summer camp rather than before, because of the time taken to find me a placement and they advise that a minimum of 6 months is best to make the most of it.

I've got an interview on sunday 9th for the american summer camp thing, so fingers crossed that goes well and I can get a place sorted asap

The job is still good. Its hard work and physically tiring (but amazing weight loss happening so no complaints ) and the customers are infuriating sometimes :rolleyes: but the other staff are almost all really friendly and I feel settled in now. Am beginning to hope that they like me and want to take me on after my temp contract finishes... especially if I don't have anything lined up until the summer camp! :eek:

Just taking things a day at a time really... the interview yesterday made me feel quite emotional... thoughts of 'the future' da da daaaa got me all in a muddle again. I'm really trying not to put too much pressure on myself about it... things happen the way they do for a reason and the right thing will come along eventually I'm sure.

I just don't think I'm cut out to be an artist, that's where I'm at right now. Not really much more to say on that

Moneywise things are going ok, the situation is definitely not getting any worse anyway! :T I'm enjoying the challenge of christmas presents on a budget and just having the renewed focus has stopped me from spending.

Heard someone on the telly saying 'Some people confuse not being in charge with not being respected'.... well that rung a bell or two with me! I'm a control freak really... I like being in charge of stuff and being the one who knows the answers to questions and can fix stuff etc etc So I'm going to think on that statement and maybe I can change a little.

I'm still leaving everything to the last minute... which really frustrates me... I get so mad at myself. I know perfectly well when I have to leave for work (for example) but I always think 'oh, I'll just do x and y, oh and z before I go' and then end up rushing and being stressed for no good reason. Its like I don't get any comfort from being on time and organised for things, but I certainly don't like being in a rush and stressing.... I absolutely detest being under time pressure... and yet I'm doing it to myself over and over again :mad:

Ah well guys... sorry for all the midnight ramblings... I'm off to bed now where I belong and hopefully sleep a bit better for having got some of that out of my head and written down.

x