advice wanted re new bf and his family

jcr16

i'm sorry but i wouldn't be with any man that would smoke 'stuff' knowingly while his children/child are in the house. if he can't put his child before his own wants/needs then i personally wouldn't feel they deserved to have any of my heart. sounds harsh i know, but i complelty object the the 'stuff' it makes smokers of it paranoid, aggressive, violent . a little bit now and then amounts to more and more with out the smoker realising.(trust me i lived next do to big users of the 'stuff' and you could tell then they were smoking it( this was with 2 small children in the house ) it was awful. the kids used to stink of it, my house used to stink of it, when they opened their door and my windows were open!

i know these days it not considered as anything but the norm, but it not something i would entertain.

on another note 45 mins isn't that far awake, some peeps would travel further than that to do their weekly food shopping. if your really into someone and you want to make it work distance is not a prob. AFter 3 months i knew with my hubby he was the one for me. i ha no doubts, issues or concerns. you just know ,reading between the lines it sounds like maybe he wants to be with you, not prepared to make as much effert as maybe you would.

i hope you sort it all out hun.

Sambucus_Nigra

I travel 45 mins to work every day - well it would be 45 mins if it wasn't for the pesky M1. And 2-3 hours when I'm not in the office.

I imagine him and his brother taking the p1ss out of you 'reading' and all the 'under the thumb' comments from bro if you ask your OH to do anything.

Sounds like a dreamboat. *rolleyes

Errata

Sounds like as far as he's concerned your simply a female acquaintance with extras.

ellay864

Totally agree on the 45 min thing as well...my OH and I were closer to an hour apart. When we met my kids were 10 and 12. He had tremendous debt problems and had moved back to his mum's after his divorce, and worked just 5 mins from where he lived. He couldn't afford the travelling so he lived at his mums in the week and spent weekends with me, and also to have him move in with me would've meant increase in my council tax etc, which I couldn't afford then. We managed with that arrangement for 5 years before he moved in with me....and that was in part only forced on us when his mum set fire to the house (not to get rid of him!!).
To say to you that you need to move to keep the relationship is garbage - if he loved you and respected your kids he'd not even think of it

Emmzi

he sounds dreadful and I can't believe the kids are playing happy families after 3 months - way too early to meet new bloke!

if you enjoy the sex then by all means carry on with that but he doesn't sound like "partner" material at all. too selfish.

property.advert

Report this drug addict to social services and the cops. Drugs are a menace and a parent taking drugs when in charge of kids is not fir to have parental responsibility. He is scum.

Bennifred

property.advert wrote: »

Report this drug addict to social services and the cops. Drugs are a menace and a parent taking drugs when in charge of kids is not fir to have parental responsibility. He is scum.

I agree with the sentiment, but I think it's unlikely to happen.:(

property.advert

Bennifred wrote: »

I agree with the sentiment, but I think it's unlikely to happen.:(

If that were true, then by definition the OP would be condoning parents taking drugs when in charge of kids which in itself would raise doubts over her own moral compass.

To do nothing would appear wrong in this situation. To turn a blind eye because her desperation for a relationship was so high as to overlook the shortcomings of this degenerate father is worse. To introduce his way of life to her kids would make her an unfit mother.

There is surely no question to answer.

corbyboy

You need to chuck this moron. If this is how he treats you now think how it will be like in a couple of years.

I can't believe you are taking the smoking thing so lightly either.

If his kids are upstairs and he is smoking downstairs then he is smoking in front of them. He is damaging the health of his children and I can't believe you would even entertain letting your own children into that environment.
In my opinion smoking indoors in a house where children live is basically child abuse.

You deserve much more than this.

Kate78

Emmzi wrote: »

he sounds dreadful and I can't believe the kids are playing happy families after 3 months - way too early to meet new bloke!

^ This.

My SIL to be thinks it's cute that her 5 year old is asking if she should call new bloke of 3 months "Dad". It breaks my heart tbh, poor kid.

Give him the boot, he sounds like a loser and will only drag you down with him.