Friend wants to borrow £10k - please help!

mr218

to the OP, islamic banks charge interest, only they dont call it interest. they call it management charges etc. how do you think they pay their employees if they dont charge money for services. it is a way to make them comply with shariah code but they pretty much charge the same as other banks. if not everyone who is not a muslim would also be using these banks

as for your friend, her SIL has lent her money. if someone invests in your business and asks for money back, it is a loan. tell her you have discussed with your husband and dont want to complicate friendships by loaning huge amounts. which you cannot afford to lose

zippychick

Example 1 - I had a friend ive known for 13 years and last year I lent him £200 for his daughters birthday party. After a few months he gave me £100 - months later i was waiting on the other £100.

I had to torture him to get it back and hes never spoken to me since. He commented to a friend how "it was months ago she lent me it " like that should mean it should be written off? I thought he was a true friend but he hasnt spoek to me since paying me back - very reluctantly!:mad:

Example 2 - a girl i lent £300 to - we had been best friends for 6 years or so. Never paid back. :mad:

Example 3 - another girl i was "best friends" with for years and years - lent her around £300 for spending money for her holiday. She eventually accused me of trying it on with her partner (absolute rubbish), threw me out of her flat ijn Brighton at 11pm at night with nowhere to stay, and of course, i never got the money back! She contacted me a few months ago (after 5 odd years with no contact?) to apologise for all the accusations and how she ended our friendship and how she missed me! :rotfl:.Never mentioned the money. I did - and she "forgot" she had borrowed it. She now has a very well off fiance, and ive not had her banging my door down offering to pay it back. :mad:

Don't do it - it's simply not worth it and ruins friendships and destroys trust in people you thought you could trust.

Newly_retired

Who do you want to hurt least? Your friend or your family?
Say NO.

balletshoes

sofietrouble wrote: »

Oh dear, I thought someone may say that...
She won't go to the bank, if she hasn't got the money she will just tell her sister in law that she will have to wait for it.

I already told her I would give it to her though, I would feel so bad to let her down at the last minute.

She is from Pakistan and that is how Asian families work, borrowing and lending to each other rather than going through banks (this is all new to me as I am British and not used to this at all!) She said she approached all her family already and no-one has it to give to her at the moment.

I do feel nervous about lending such a big sum that I struggled to save for (I am the only breadwinner in my family, my husband looks after our baby). But I will feel so terrible if I let her down.

If you want an out, you could just say that your husband says No . My husband is Muslim, and when he got fed up of friends (also Muslim) asking him to lend them money, he would just tell them "my wife says No". Its a lot of money to lose - and I firmly believe that you shouldn't lend to family/friends unless you can afford to not get the money back.

I'm well used to the Muslim way of lending/borrowing money - and from my experience, its a very informal and not very reliable method of dealing with money.

Sambucus_Nigra

The reason that you should say no is this.

No friend would ever ask another for £10K just like that; it should be the last of all options and only if absolutely desperate for the money.

If she is engaging in business in the UK then she needs to also fund her business using known business practices. If her family member has invested in the business and wants the money back then she needs to find a new investor - not a friend who has saved up their money for years towards security for their family.

It is totally wrong to ask and you should not have been put in that situation; so tell her you would have loved to but on reflection there is no way that you can lend out your families savings at all.

littlekitty2010

Thats alot of money and if your not sure she will pay it back no definatly dont lend her it.

Filey

Remember the old saying - "Lend a pound and lose a friend."

And the other old saying - " Neither a lender nor a borrower be."

go_cat

If she falls out with you over not lending the money to her then she was never a true friend in the first place

geri1965_2

zippychick wrote: »

Example 1 - I had a friend ive known for 13 years and last year I lent him £200 for his daughters birthday party. After a few months he gave me £100 - months later i was waiting on the other £100.

I had to torture him to get it back and hes never spoken to me since.

I'm not really surprised - it does seem a little extreme for £100. Do Amnesty International know?

tesuhoha

Anyway, if you lent it to her she most probably would not pay it back in time for when you want to use it and then you might have to borrow it and pay interest.