Friend wants to borrow £10k - please help!

sofietrouble

Hi,

Just need some advice and opinions please!
I have saved up a lot of money, just by putting money aside from my salary and living well below my means.

A friend of mine has asked to borrow £10,000 from me, saying she will pay it back within 6 months. As we are both Muslims I won't be charging her interest as it is forbidden to charge or pay interest in Islam.

She needs it as a family member who invested £10k in my friend's business has now demanded the money back - nothing to do with the business but for personal reasons.

She is pregnant with her first child (I have a baby also) and I am just worried that for some reason she will not pay it back. I really could not afford to lose this money as I was saving it to buy a house as I am renting at the moment. It's not that I don't trust her, but anything could happen, she could die, then what would I do?

I really want to help my friend but I don't want to lose £10k either. Is there a way of formalising this to help me feel more reassured without jeopardising our friendship?

Any advice gratefully received, thank you!

x Sofie

WolfSong2000

Simple - never borrow, never lend, then you'll always have a friend . In other words, *never* lend money (especially such a large amount!) to friends (or family for that matter). As you said yourself, anything could happen/go wrong, and besides, you should never lend money that you can't afford to lose. If your friend needs £10k, tell her to approach a bank and ask for a loan.

PinkLipgloss

You clearly have doubts - therefore do NOT lend her the money.

Politely explain that you need the money to hand as you are looking to secure a mortgage. If she is a real friend she will understand that.

Good luck.

welshmoneylover

sofietrouble wrote: »

Hi,

Just need some advice and opinions please!
I have saved up a lot of money, just by putting money aside from my salary and living well below my means.

A friend of mine has asked to borrow £10,000 from me, saying she will pay it back within 6 months. As we are both Muslims I won't be charging her interest as it is forbidden to charge or pay interest in Islam.

She needs it as a family member who invested £10k in my friend's business has now demanded the money back - nothing to do with the business but for personal reasons.

She is pregnant with her first child (I have a baby also) and I am just worried that for some reason she will not pay it back. I really could not afford to lose this money as I was saving it to buy a house as I am renting at the moment. It's not that I don't trust her, but anything could happen, she could die, then what would I do?

I really want to help my friend but I don't want to lose £10k either. Is there a way of formalising this to help me feel more reassured without jeopardising our friendship?

Any advice gratefully received, thank you!

x Sofie

Do not lend this money if you have any doubts about not seeing it again.

sofietrouble

Oh dear, I thought someone may say that...
She won't go to the bank, if she hasn't got the money she will just tell her sister in law that she will have to wait for it.

I already told her I would give it to her though, I would feel so bad to let her down at the last minute.

She is from Pakistan and that is how Asian families work, borrowing and lending to each other rather than going through banks (this is all new to me as I am British and not used to this at all!) She said she approached all her family already and no-one has it to give to her at the moment.

I do feel nervous about lending such a big sum that I struggled to save for (I am the only breadwinner in my family, my husband looks after our baby). But I will feel so terrible if I let her down.

Becles

I wouldn't lend her the money. You don't sound very sure that she will pay it back, and it would be a shame to lose your house deposit and your friend.

You mentioned she is pregnant with her first child. The next few months will be expensive for her getting kitted out for the new baby, plus she'll be going onto maternity leave. This would concern me regarding the paying it back within 6 months.

WastingMyTime

Don't lend her the money. Only give money if you are prepared to lose it.
Tell her that you need it for the deposit on your house.

sofietrouble

Just to add - I have never borrowed money from anyone and wouldn't dream of asking anyone either. I don't know why exactly, but I have always saved up for things (we don't even have a car as we are saving up for our house). I don't think she is rude for asking, but I do feel very stupid that I said yes straightaway without really thinking about it...

PinkLipgloss

You need to prioritise - what is more important, letting your friend down or potentially losing £10,000 meant to secure your family a home?

Simply tell her you have spoken with your husband/given the matter further thought and that you now realise it would be unwise as you will need instant access to funds as soon as you find a suitable property to mortgage.

geri1965_2

I can only echo what others have said.

This is why it's not a good idea to discuss personal finances with friends. None of my friends, family or even my OH know how much money I have in the bank. If they don't know, they wouldn't think to ask.

FATBALLZ

Only lend it if you're prepared to write it off if she doesn't pay you back.