Friend wants to borrow £10k - please help!

sp1987

sofietrouble wrote: »

She said she approached all her family already and no-one has it to give to her at the moment.

I do feel nervous about lending such a big sum that I struggled to save for (I am the only breadwinner in my family, my husband looks after our baby). But I will feel so terrible if I let her down.

Right

1. Would you feel worse if you let your husband and child down if you one day really NEED this money? I'm sure you would.

2. If her family haven't lent it to her this could be because they know they will not see it again.

You absolutely cannot afford to lose this money. If she really needed it she would approach a bank. She would rather borrow it from someone who won't be able to hassle her to pay it back (and the added bonus of religious beliefs meaning no interest).

Are there not shariah (sorry if I have written that incorrectly!) loans?...I know there are shariah mortgages, so it stands to reason?

You must realise you posted this thread because you do not want to lend the money. If you did, this post would never have existed until 6 months time when you popped up on the loans board 'someone hasn't paid me back, what can I do?'.

The cold facts are, even if you legalised the loan and had a watertight agreement....if she did not pay and had no assets, you would not get your money back even if you paid the costs to get a judgment at court.

I cannot write 'do not even contemplate this one' any clearer.

Money_maker

NO, NO, NO

I have no knowledge of Muslim or Asian customs but assume they have banks of some sort?

Failing that, suggest you google your query about how a Muslim can borrow money (must be some advice somewhere) and give her the results. How on earth do they get mortgages?

It is unfair to put this pressure on you but all you need to do is say no. Or your next post in 6 months will be how to get it back...

tattycath

geri1965 wrote: »

I can only echo what others have said.

This is why it's not a good idea to discuss personal finances with friends. None of my friends, family or even my OH know how much money I have in the bank. If they don't know, they wouldn't think to ask.

I agree with this. I discuss money with my husband but no one else knows what savings i do or don't have as the case may be.
OP I would also tell your friend that you need instant access to the money and therefore not lend it to her. She has already said if you can't lend her it her sister will have to wait-so let her wait and keep your money safe.

FATBALLZ

Money_maker wrote: »

NO, NO, NO

I have no knowledge of Muslim or Asian customs but assume they have banks of some sort?

Failing that, suggest you google your query about how a Muslim can borrow money (must be some advice somewhere) and give her the results. How on earth do they get mortgages?

It is unfair to put this pressure on you but all you need to do is say no. Or your next post in 6 months will be how to get it back...

You can get Islamic Mortgages, which is basically just farting about with the technicalities and turning the mortgage into a form of lease instead so you are technically renting rather than borrowing money. It all works out the same in the end - you pay the same amount as a normal mortgage and own the house at the end. Unsecured lending might be a problem for Muslims, not sure if banks do anything for that.

sp1987

Plus, another twist to the tale really...

If she has the money and pays it to her sister and then comes into difficulties having her first child, you will not have the financial cushion there to help her out if she needs the basics.

I'd much rather keep money aside to give people help if they REALLY need it, than pay off their loans that would be convenient for them.

Plus, if she owes £10,000 to her sister, it means she has loans she hasn't repaid. Beware!

PasturesNew

Just say No. I'd rather be without that friend and have my £10k, than be without that £10k having fallen out with that friend because they didn't pay it back.

faithcecilia

I know a lot of people are absolutely against lending money to friends and family, and while I totally respect that, I don't agree 100%. I am currently in debt to a friend, and in the past I have lent to friends as well. However, you are talking about a massive sum of money - its more than my annual income!!

To me, the fact that you say you cannot afford to not be repaid this money, means you cannot afford to lend it either. If you really want to help your friend, and feel you coud afford to lose £X, then why not suggest to your friend you did that, so she could maybe placate her relative, and then repay the rest gradually?

sofietrouble

Oh God, think I have got my answer. Not one person has said 'yes go for it!!' It's not going to be fun letting her know... I just hope I haven't lost a friend.

About the religious aspect, there exist shariah compliant 'mortgages' so maybe there are loans? Though I don't much see the point of these products because they still cost you money to borrow money, even though it is not classed as interest.
Islam teaches that Allah allocates everyone a certain amount at birth - a certain amount of intelligence, health, looks, wealth etc. And to borrow money distorts or changes Allah's 'plan' for that person, and changes the balance of money in the world. Interest makes rich people richer and poor people poorer. So borrowing money and interest is banned, and if you want or need more money, you have to use what you have been given to begin with to create more, legally and ethically. I guess that is my answer also....

Alias_Omega

Just say NO...


Dont mix money with family & friends..

sofietrouble

sp1987 wrote: »

Plus, if she owes £10,000 to her sister, it means she has loans she hasn't repaid. Beware!

She doesn't owe her sister in law money, her sister in law invested £10k into her business and now wants it back all of a sudden!