determined to be debtfree!

brizzledfw

Hi DFW321

It's a tricky one. I am currently in Derbyshire visiting my sis and I love it here, she lives in a village, I was brought up in one and it feels like home. On the other hand I have a strong support network where I live now, loads of people I can call on to help out when OH is away etc. it makes a huge difference, in fact to me it's essential. So...if you can't get one of those in Essex I would think of moving somewhere you can, particularly if you're a SM in the week (or 24/7). But do think about schools etc, transport ( public transport will be scarce in rural Lincs!!) especially as the kids get older....you won't thank yourself for being the local taxi service! our DD1 goes to a school she is beginning to love but it won't win any national awards! Sometimes a school's worth is in the eye of the beholder!

Anyway, have a lovely Sunday

debtfreewannabe321

hi brizzle thanks for popping by i agree a support network is exactly what i seem to be missing here. I have people i can call friends but i wouldn't really rely on any of them for help. I have only one friend that would have the kids for me if in an emergency etc and i just feel totally lost here. We've been here 4 years this year. Granted i spent the first year and half commuting to london every day so i never made any friends as already had some at uni (didn't really have time to make any here honestly i'm not that rude lol)

My sister lives in Lincoln, my friends mostly live between villages about 15 miles from there. And a few have moved to the local market town where we used to go to school, so i would def think about moving either to the city or a town. i love villages but don't really think i'd like to live in one again until i'm older. I remember living in a village and it had a post office, pub, phone box & 1 bus stop. My nearest neighbours were cows and tbh i liked it and i was 15 i rode my bike every where or mum gave us lifts lol i can't imagine living like that now i'd go mad!

And Alice if ever you need the nail gun you know where to come lol! I'd like to know why men are just SO different to us women. I asked dh why he left my house in such a state and he actually apologised for once. Usually it's a case of 'well i didn't do it all by myself did I you can clean it'!

debtfreewannabe321

i have rounded down all my bank accounts and now have £2.40 in my savings account so have adjusted sig accordingly

Am very happy with the shop this week, i went to aldi after boycotting asda cos of their ridiculous prices (grr) and got 1 BIG trolley full of fresh fruit, veg, juice (not from concentrate pfft so expensive!), milk, bread, yoghurts, goodies and some frozen stuff £43.42 it came to! -unlike last week in asda. 1 SMALL trolley not full of stuff. £55 :eek: lesson learned there i think!

Had phone call from dad, he will take ds on tues/wed not sure which yet for a few days. I have to drive to M11 to meet him somewhere so it's half way for both of us. I don't mind this saves me going all the way over which i thought i may have to do! He's back to school on Sunday he reckons he doesn't need any new things so all good there money saved.

I've sold the large item on ebay for £14.50 so need to organise a suitable time for us both for pick up other items not finishing yet but not looking too good as no bids yet will re-list as free again. Will do this a few time and then if no joy it can go to charity most of it!

Off to put dinner on, pie takes ages to cook from frozen!

Alice_in_Poorland

The list of stuff we get from A1di is growing by the week, just a few items 'I just have to get' from Sburys :rotfl:

Ebay went OK but I too have relisted the stuff that didn't sell.

Apologies for hijacking your diary with my outburst about OH earlier today. Whilst everything is generally OK between us now, I do sympathise with you and know exactly how you feel and if you ever find out why men as so different please let me know. Hope you have a good peaceful week. xx

debtfreewannabe321

ahh please don't apologise, i knew exactly where you were comign from (and boy i wish i didn't huh) dh & i split up years back for 4 years. Which is why we have a huge age gap in kids. I often think to myself why did i bother going back! But so glad obviously i did as i have 3 beautiful children instead of just 1 now but so much harder to leave the second time don't you think! I think this time if i go it has to be forever no going back which is why i keep dithering. Even my father asked earlier if there were problems between us and i never see him :eek: i need to stop using fb as an outlet oops!

I have sold 3 items on ebay one to america :eek: and not sure what to charge on postage!! the item was only £1 seems pointless to me ??? I have re-listed the rest and received an inbox msg about one of my items asking to drop the price and put as buy it now so i did...i just want it all gone tbh. She hasn't blooming bought it though lol so hoping she'll be back tomorrow to buy lol!

debtfreewannabe321

tomorrows jobs:
go to bank and pay penny jar in also the cheque from npower i've had for ages (oops)
start packing ds's bag for school if he is going to be away for the week
catch up on washing up
catch up on washing
put clothes away!
check bank and pay school fees.
work out what is left from the school fees to go towards the deficit left by the car this month!
Package up ebay items if they've been paid for

update on 2012 targets:
debt 2008/6000 (33%)
savings £702.40/ 2500 (28.09%)
emergency funds 0/500
Nsd's 34/120 (33%)
vouchers for gifts 119/150 (79%)
second purse challenge 50/100 (50%)

Have kind of fallen by the way side with the second purse challenge so must try and get back on it! also slacking on the surveys front. I've spent most of what i've earned already so need to make some more so thinking of upping the amount i want to get to. Also want £500 in an emergency fund by end of year. Have a funny feeling i will need it for car or some sort of white goods lol!

Eager_Elephant

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

yes it was two, sychronised & according to pete R.I.P.........this often makes me think i'm doing the wrong thing betting on them. This is the only bet i ever make and it's kind of a family tradition which is probably why i still do it. But everytime i hear a story like that i feel guilty after !

This is exactly how I felt last year.

As a tradition we all used to place a bet on a horse and also I would run a sweep stake at work but after all the deaths last year I started thinking about how dangerous it was.

DH had previously signed up to Animal Action or Aid (Can't remember - sorry) and after the National they sent a booklet about the lives of race horses and it made for horrific reading ( I know some of it is not true but tsome of it must have been :eek:) so this year I have ignored it and not being at work means I didn't have to do the sweepstake :T

Eager_Elephant

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

I keep thinking about my long term plans. And hopefully by the time the kids are both at school i will nearly be debt free...obviously by the time the two lil ones are there my eldest will nearly be finished with school too (14 this year :eek:!)

Dh and I are still up in the air. I do feel quite sad about it all now -perhaps sinking in a bit- and i keep thinking in my mind perhaps i should back track on my ultimatum. But i don't want to be stuck in a rut forever. I'm 33 now and not happy. Sure sometimes we have fun, usually though we're winding each other up scoring silly points against each other. So it's got to stop. I will make him move out. I've decided for one month to see how we go. I think a week/ 2 weeks is too short for him to realise things so one month it is...! This may increase dependant on how we feel at the end of that!

Have you thought about Relate?

I know you have read my diary but can't remember what I have posted about - me and DH went to Relate and it was really interesting.

I realised that we had a parent/child relationship when obviously we are adults and equals.

I was always of the belief that you should win at an argument especially if you are right but the counsellor said it was not about winning but about taking into account what each other thought and hopefully meeting in the middle - I still don't think it is right as I want to be right all the time :rotfl: but it does make you think during an argument.

Hence when DH spends money I don't let it get into a big argument like I used to - I mention it once and then get over it.

I've said before but if DH had not got poorly I would have left Dec 2010 but with him being ill it puts a diferent slant on things.

Some people say if there is no trust in a relationship what is the point but I have never trusted my DH - you can see from my diary the sort of things he has got up to:eek: but personally as the sex is brilliant I stay :rotfl:

debtfreewannabe321

lol EE, well good sex is always worth staying a bit longer eh :rotfl:i haven't trusted my dh for a long time, but i think some of this stems from my childhood and my father being a serial cheat. And also his brothers, and his father. It seems to run in the family :rotfl: so i therefore don't trust any man now. No matter how sweet they seem.

I asked dh to go to relate but with his job he is away at the drop of a hat sometimes for 3-4 months at a time and i don't know how we'd go about getting appointments to suit !

debtfreewannabe321

morning

well today i've paid the school fees before i accidently spend the £3.5k sat in the bank :rotfl: i usually like to keep it for 2 weeks rather than give it away straight away but didn't really trust myself!

Then i swept all the bank accounts of any money that wasn't needed this month anymore and have put safe in one account. I have £350 towards next month. I should have £480 + £180= £660. So short by £310. I will go through the accounts later & spreadsheets and see if we can make payments on everything. I think it might be managable if i go nowhere in May (although do need petrol for a trip to london at one point) so can save on petrol, food is already low so can't cut any down there. Ummm entertainment, clothing, and a few other bits could be cut for one month. So then i can make my payment to cccs and we will be ok hopefully. I will fill out spreadsheet though and see where i stand later

have already been to dr's today with dd she's had an odd rash for months now they think it's just viral (isn't everything) and she's fine.

Still need to get on with my list above. Starting with going to the bank this morning Will pay all change in & cheque and this can go in savings. It's only a few quid so won't really make much difference if i were to add it to next months money so would rather save it!

Will be back later with hopefully a shorter list aiming for a nsd too!