Stressed as.. tried everything I can think of... exhausted

SingleMumOf2_3

danielle his weight gain is brilliant. he was 16lbs 2 weeks ago. when breastfed he would go at least 3 hours. and at night would only wake for his feed then straight back to sleep. been a nightmare since on formula

runnerbean17

I have 2 kids and my 1st never seemed to sleep more than 20 mins at a time. He wasn't a happy baby at night time at all. I know I didn't have a clue what I was doing and got into some really bad habits which undoubtedly didn't help the situation. Personally I would take him to the doctors asap and explain the situation, even get a second opinion. Once any ill-health/illness is ruled out (hopefully!) look at getting into a routine and sticking to it. You said you've tried everything and maybe that's the problem - kids NEED routine and consistency. So many of us have been there you really aren't on your own Good luck xx

SingleMumOf2_3

js other half I looked into that months ago.but discussed it with the hv. she advised me not to as messing with his head may make him worse as he can remember birth or something. he was a forceps delivery. and apparantly touching their head can make them remember. wasnt too sure what she was going on about. but made me steer clear. plus cant afford it. as going bankrupt.

SingleMumOf2_3

I took him to the drs weds. her response was "you tell me what you are wanting me to do to help him".. then reffered him to a dietician but had no idea if this may help.
My problem is the same as when he was a newborn and I have his colic problems. hv's etc are quite disbelieving. dont want to bother coming seeing me, so try and listen to me and explain over the phone. i am a worrier so maybe I come across like I make it all up.. I just dont know. But they fob me off asthough I am lying or making a bigger issue than it is. Which is why I refuse to take him to hospital or out of hours. If the people I should have trust in now dont believe me.. people who I have spoken to frequently. The I havent a cat in hells chance to be treated nicely by hospital staff etc.
Sometimes I am left to feel like its all in my head. but it isnt. There is no mistaking the hysterically crying. I know they are busy. but they really should try and make mums feel like they actually want to ask for help.
I am getting depression from it all. which isnt helping. as it makes me second guess my gut feeling now. so when he crys I know wonder if its all my fault. if its something I have done wrong. I cant wait to figure out the real reason why he is like this so I can fix it and make my little man happy

welshcamper

Hi there

if you think there is something wrong, trust a mothers instinct and go to the hospital, if your wrong it dosnt matter, keep going to the gp and finally something may be done to help you.

let me tell you a little story, this is not to scare you but to encourage you to trust your own judgement

my son refused to eat solids from the age of 8 months, he would only have soup with no bits in or icecream, could eat no lumps at all.
HV said nothing to worry about he will eat when he ready, she told me this at 12 months old. he was also crying a lot. one day the screaming was so bad i called the doctor out 3 times in one day, on the last call out he shouted- "for christ sake i dont thinks theres anything wrong with him, your being overprotective i will send you to the hospital so i dont get called out anymore today"
at the hospital they found out he had a huge tumour covering his heart and lungs, this is very rare,its from the thymus gland ( this was preventing him swallowing lumps and breathing properly)

transfered to a specialised hospital ( where the original doctor phoned up to see how he was doing!!)..fast forward 6 weeks operated on, tumour was benign, starting eating solids...fast forward 19 years, 6ft4 strapping lad lol

you could go see your GP and ask for a list of private specialist, have one appointment private and if they think anything is wrong they will refer you to a NHS specialist and it will be quicker

rachbc

If he had a traumatic delviery (which forceos suggests) then I would really recommend cranial osteopathy - if you explain your situation you might fin someone willing to take a nominal fee - whereabouts are you?

psso

How frustrating for you having such unhelpful HV`s and Drs. Maybe if you could take the baby to an out of hours clinic they would be able to help, access to facilities more sympathetic staff etc.

Maybe a daft idea ( I get a few of them now again - quite dangerous) but could you express milk but give it in a bottle instead of formula, or has it dried up already ? See told you it was a daft idea.

Would love to be able to come and help you and give you all a big hug.
Hope things are a bit better tonight / tomorrow.

SingleMumOf2_3

It has dried up already. Had a terrible night again. He is much worse now he has a cold. Nose is hard to breathe from dispite the constant saline drops and his cough has got worse. And lots of watery poos. Very tempted to cancel nursery for my toddler but I know he loves it. Have absolutely no patience with anything today. Tired beyond belief and feel terrible.

Angels_Cake

I know you say your baby is on the hungrier baby formula, my step daughter has had a very simular problems with our grandson - crying all the time, not sleeping for too long, generally a very unsettled baby. He is now on soya milk as he is dairy intolorant, since being on the Soya milk he's been a different child, he's now a very happy 8 month old baby.
She has to watch what he's eating (no dairy, gluten and wheat) her appointment for the dietitian is in about another 4 weeks yet but he's growing fine now, she's also got to find out excatly what he's allergic too.

Another thing to think about, is there a possibility your baby is constipated? My nephew became really bumged up when my sister went from breatfeeding to formula. Our grandson also became very constipated when having his formula switched (she tried all of them with him before getting the soya milk form the dr)

Do you have a different dr at your surgery? Maybe a second opinion is the way to go.
My step-daughter got fobbed off a few times as a new mum by 2 other dr's (suggested to try different brand formula etc) then she saw my dr (we have the same surgery) and the gp immediately recognised baby had a problem.

As your a mum already please dont doubt you own instincts, you did good with your first child, you know something is just not 'quite right' with your baby, trust that feeling.

Big Hugs.

esmf73

Single Mum - Various bits of advice for you - feel free to try / disregard as you feel.

Initially CONTACT HOME START - they will come out and help you. What they do is to provide a helper (a bit like an auntie / grandparent) who will look after the children for a couple of hours a week. If nothing else if this give you a chance to have a few hours sleep - or a bath or time for you - go for it.

Secondly - continue with the Colief. I used this for my second who was very similar to yours. (I also had a toddler!) You can make the bottles up in advance and keep them in the fridge. I did this and now have a happy 5 yr old - doesn't hurt them. If you need to, warm them in some hot water.

Thirdly - doesn't matter if your baby is weaned with your home made food or shop bought mixes. Mine both had a mixture depending on what worked for me and now they'll eat most things!

Fourthly - GET SOME HELP - have you got a friend / parent you can call on to give you a break. You need to get your head into gear before you can realistically try new things as you need to be prepared for the outcomes.

Make a fuss with the Doctor (see a different one), Health Visitor - see a different one - go into a baby clinic.

I did this on my own - even though I'm married as my OH was in Iraq at the time. What I used to do quite often was put DS1 in his room for a nap after lunch. Babygate on his bedroom door - he never slept, but he had some toys he could play with. DS2 went into his cot - he could scream all he liked as I knew there was nothing that could hurt him, and I'd go to bed!

Helped a bit. PM me if I can help at all - you need a break.xxxxxxx