Stressed as.. tried everything I can think of... exhausted

freda

Oh, you poor thing. I feel your pain, I went through similar with DS who didn't sleep properly at night till he was 18 months.

I can't offer any definate solutions, as different things work for different people. But the things that I remember I tried were:

- regular, long walks in the day. If DS is in a pushchair then the screaming is absorbed by all the large outside space and doesn't get to you as much. Put your 2yo in too if you have a double, or get a buggy board so you can just walk without pestering the younger one to keep up.

- lots of toddler groups. Find one in a large hall where the screaming won't be so intrusive and let the older toddler run around to burn off energy while you either walk the baby around showing him things or put him in a pushchair and walk up and down with it.

- Normally, I'd suggest controlled crying as we did that and it did make a fair difference - moving from waking every 20 mins to every 1.5 hours. However, from what you've said it could be that your DS has actual pain so I'd not do that till you've seen the dietician. But if she gives the all clear, definitely stick out the controlled crying for the few days it gets to sort it out as it is really worth it.

- have you tried holding the baby in different positions - if you can borrow a stretchy sling you can try holding them upright, laying down, facing out or in to see if this helps. Stretchy slings are things like kari-me or moby wraps. Usually cost c. £30

- have you tried white noise? You can get CDs of white noise which our son LOVED, or use the hoover or a de-tuned radio.

- I'd really go back to the normal milk. If it all started after 3 days then maybe the hungry baby stuff was slowly filling him up with undigested stuff making it sore. If he is 6 months, I assume he's being weaned? How much does he eat? Remember that at that age, they will still get calories mainly from milk but will be filled up by food, so maybe try stuff like pasta, potatoes, rice, bread etc to fill him up if you think he is hungry without the hungry baby milk.

- get some help for YOU. Do you have friends, family, anyone who will take one or both kids for a few hours so you can sleep? Its really important this = I reckon I got a bit of PND from the sheer lack of sleep. Until you've been there you don't know how awful it feels, how low and grumpy and like an awful mum you feel. You're NOT an awful mum at all, just a knackered one! But it doesn't seem like it when you're getting next to no sleep. Can you afford a couple of nursery sessions a week for your older toddler? Think of ways that you can get a break.

If I remember anything else, I will come back to this thread as I so feel for you, it is an awful thing for a mother to go through. Look after yourself as well as your gorgeous boys.

bluenose1

Sleep deprivation is dreadful, I really feel for you. Hope he starts sleeping for a longer period soon. Sound like you have tried everything. Hopefully it won't be for long.

SingleMumOf2_3

sorry I forgot to add that this all started when I switched him from breastmilk to stage 1 formula. he was on that for 2 weeks. which is why I decided to put him on hungry baby milk. so I dont think putting him back on stage 1 milk will help but it is something I could try.
He was having some baby rice in the morning, and just under half a jar for his tea. But is currently refusing all solids.

KiKi

Poor you, OP, I feel for you.

Firstly, are you sure it's the teething? It seems unusual that he would even scream when you're holding with him, playing with him, and this would last for so long. Some thoughts for you:

* Are you giving him solids? He could be hungry but he could be not digesting milk properly, and so constantly screaming because he's hungry. Try weaning with something that doesn't have dairy or formula (ie not baby rice which is mixed with milk). I know that there are different opinions of weaning onto solids, but only you know your child, and this is worth a try, *especially* if he is hungry but his digestive system is having problems with milk. He might be desperate for food. The fact that he's not taking much milk and then screaming suggests this may be good option for you to try.

* Another option with the milk is to try giving it to him on a teaspoon (plastic baby spoon, so it doesn't cut into his gums if he chews it). I know that sounds odd, but for some babies they just have real issues with the bottle, and he may just have a problem with it at the moment, might be taking too much air in when he drinks which causes him pain. Trying it with the spoon is always worth a try - my niece would only take milk this way for quite some time.

* Try sitting him up when he taking a bottle, but still making sure there's no air in the teat so he's not taking in air when he drinks.

* Try laying him on his front over your knees or in your arms. Rub and gently pat his back quickly with two hands if he's on your knees (and swaying your knees side to side if you can). Sway with him whilst he lies face down (not on his side, absolutely face down) in your arms with his head hanging over one arm so his head is supported but he can still breathe!

* Try swaying him in big sways from side to side - almost like you're swinging him with a kind of grandfather clock pendulum motion, but on his side or front in your arms. He may prefer big sways to small jiggles!

* Crying this often, all the time, even when he's with you and being comforted sounds like he may have wind / digestion / colic problems - your GP or the dietician may be able to help, I don't know enough about this I'm afraid!

* One last thought is that - as HARD as this is for you, I know - don't get stressed. The more stressed you are, the more stressed he will be. Get someone to take your two year old for a few hours for you. Hell, get someone to take the baby as well! Get some rest. Sleep deprivation will make everything twenty times worse.


Finally, I echo one poster's suggestion of 'white noise' - non-descript noise, like a hoover, an untuned radio, or washing machine. Keep down other noises in your house - turn off the TV, radio and anything which may bother his little mind! It can work wonders for some babies.

I really feel for you. Let us know how you get on?? And remember, if you think it's more than teething and that he may be in pain or ill, don't hesitate to take him to your GP as soon as you think you need to.

KiKi

SingleMumOf2_3

Yesterday I made him fresh carrots, cauliflower and apple. Obv not mixed lol. But all boiled from fresh and put in the blender. He rejected all of it even tried at various times in the day. I cant say it is def teething because I just do not know.
Have tried white noise. Had no effect.. though the sound of hoovers make him cry. He takes the bottle fine. But he seems to use milk as a soothing aid to get to sleep. Which is why he only takes 1-2oz. then when he wakes next he does the same and so on. I could give water inbetween but how much can a baby have thats safe?

got-it-spend-it

SingleMumOf2 wrote: »

sorry I forgot to add that this all started when I switched him from breastmilk to stage 1 formula. he was on that for 2 weeks. which is why I decided to put him on hungry baby milk. so I dont think putting him back on stage 1 milk will help but it is something I could try.
He was having some baby rice in the morning, and just under half a jar for his tea. But is currently refusing all solids.

In that case I wonder if it's worth trying him on comfort milk, which is easier on their tummies than normal formula? I am not an expert at all, but I wonder if it might also be a dairy intolerance or something if it started when you switched to formula. I would be tempted to take him back to your GP and suggest this as a possibility.

SingleMumOf2_3

I apologise if I am not answering all questions asked btw. My 2 year old has fallen out of bed and keeps waking upset. And my baby is in his swing next to me, but keeps waking every 5 mins screaming. So I start off my replies meaning to answer everything.. and then get side tracked.

SingleMumOf2_3

got-it I saw the gp today. she wasnt much help. When I breastfed him.. I went on a dairy free lactose free diet for 3 weeks as I suspected this. and it made no difference. So shouldnt be that

KiKi

SingleMumOf2 wrote: »

Yesterday I made him fresh carrots, cauliflower and apple. Obv not mixed lol. But all boiled from fresh and put in the blender. He rejected all of it even tried at various times in the day. I cant say it is def teething because I just do not know.
Have tried white noise. Had no effect.. though the sound of hoovers make him cry. He takes the bottle fine. But he seems to use milk as a soothing aid to get to sleep. Which is why he only takes 1-2oz. then when he wakes next he does the same and so on. I could give water inbetween but how much can a baby have thats safe?

Can you do something to keep him awake, OP? Could you give him 1-2oz, then as he's drifting off, change his nappy. Then get another 1-2oz down him before he sleeps? Or as you think he's starting to get sleepy, take the bottle away so he cries for it again (thus making himself more awake) and give the bottle again? I know that sounds a bit cruel, but unless he has a digestion problem he really needs to get more than that for your and his sanity!

I guess what I'm saying is don't let him go to sleep after the initial 1-2oz but keep him awake so he takes more before he sleeps. It sounds like he's out of a routine of long sleep, long feed, and doing very little sleep, very little feed, very frequently! Which will do him and you no favours. Poor you.

Trying the swaying when he's fractious, always worth a try. Could you perhaps try different solids? Something sweeter like blended apple, perhaps? Or a different texture? A different brand of formula?

I don't know how much water is safe for a baby. As you give him formula - which I imagine you mix with 'sterile' boiled water - then it can't be that bad for him as he has it in milk! But I don't know much 'straight' water he could take, although I'm sure someone here can advise (or your GP).

KiKi

moneypanicker

Are you sure its milk related. You said he falls asleep with help and uses milk for comfort - maybe he doesn't know how to go to sleep by himself? Could it be that when he gets into a light sleep he wakes up and can't get back to sleep on his own. Just a thought its quite a common problem!!