Stressed as.. tried everything I can think of... exhausted

KiKi

Just another thought. Can you get out in the day? Really, really wear him out (even if he's screaming)? Lots of fresh air, even if it's cold, lots to amuse him and distract him (the park?)?

Another question: if you leave him to cry and don't attempt to pacify him, what does he do? Does he take more milk if he cries for longer? Will he sleep without it?

KiKi

SingleMumOf2_3

I think the reason he only takes a small amount is because he uses it as a way to fall asleep. So cries for it before he is due a full feed. If I force him to go 4-5 hours.. for example if we are out and he is in the pram it keeps him asleep. Then he will take a full feed... and go longer. It is that in the day sometimes I misread his hysterical crying as hunger so make a bottle.. only to find that he takes 2oz and goes to sleep. He will then refuse to take more even if I wake him.
He has been on the cow and gate powder breakfast which you mix with milk. And also baby jars. And the fresh veg and fruit I made yesterday. He seems to manage more of the powder and the jars. But turns his nose up completely to the fresh stuff. I have banana which I could try. and potatoes. I tried him on blended apple yesterday and he refused. Though his face did look asthough I had fed him a lemon after every mouthful I tried him with.
And in regards to a different brand of formula.. I am unsure whether to try that. As when he was breastfed he was on lactulose for 2 months to help him poo. So I am wary to changing anything that might upset his stomach. I suppose I could try cow and gate maybe.. or sma.. but are they really that different?

SingleMumOf2_3

today I tried the leaving him to cry... he cried for 20 minutes.. got more and more hysterical until he fell asleep on his own. tried it again this evening. he cried for over 1 hour with no signs of giving in. yet i put him in his swing and turned it on and he was asleep within seconds.

I do not think he has a problem with his milk. he has more wind on this one than stage 1. but he will happily take his bottles.

loislane999

It deffo sounds like he's in pain from somethign although guessing what is causing it is not as easy as it sounds. Apart from trying a diffferent formula and trying one of those 'no wind' teats, I would also suggest (if you can afford it) to get a chiropractor who specialises in babies to take a look as it may be neck pain or something.
Just a thought

KiKi

SingleMumOf2 wrote: »

I think the reason he only takes a small amount is because he uses it as a way to fall asleep. So cries for it before he is due a full feed. If I force him to go 4-5 hours.. for example if we are out and he is in the pram it keeps him asleep. Then he will take a full feed... and go longer. It is that in the day sometimes I misread his hysterical crying as hunger so make a bottle.. only to find that he takes 2oz and goes to sleep. He will then refuse to take more even if I wake him.

Ah, okay. So he will sleep if he is kept without milk? And he will then take a full feed?

I think the strategy I would try in that case is to not feed him milk *except* at 'designated' mealtimes. It sounds like (as another poster said) he needs to stop associating sleep with milk - because when he wakes up in the night he doesn't know how to go back to sleep without his milk. And as he then doesn't drink enough it sets up a cycle of little drink, little sleep rather than having a long feed and a better sleep.

If you can bear it (and it sounds like you'll try anything at this point!), then I would have set feeding times tomorrow, say 4-5 hours apart (as you know he can deal with that). And I would comfort him in between with cuddles and playtime and snuggles and jar food, but not with milk. Only offer milk as a meal - not as a way of going to sleep.

And if he is starting to get sleepy when taking milk, take the bottle away so he doesn't associate having milk with falling asleep, and put him down in his cot. If you are happy with controlled crying then I would do that, or if you're not, then comfort him to sleep - but I wouldn't let him fall asleep with the bottle. Then when he wakes up in the night he will start to learn to fall back asleep without needing milk again.

That won't solve the problem in a day. But it seems that he can go without food, and he can sleep well when he has a full feed. So I would try changing his routine back to one where milk is a meal, and not a comforter. Not easy, I know, but if you can stick at it for at least four days, then you may have happier and sleepier baby by the weekend, even if he is still teething.

HTH - but that's just my opinion and of course might not be right for your little one.

ETA - just seen your other post that you did leave him to cry and he did fall asleep, and he did fall asleep in the swing, so I really, really would encourage you to change his routine where milk is no longer a 'comfort' for him. I really hope that does it for you!

KiKi

affordmylife

i really feel for you. its sooooo hard. i have been there.

no baby of six months needs food in the night so the night feeds have to stop. that will make him eat more during the day. you may have a couple of rough nights whilst he gets the message but it wont take long.

put him in his room and leave him to cry to sleep.

take 2 year old in with you so he can get some rest.

let us know how you get on. xx

SingleMumOf2_3

kiki i think if i can manage that we may have a break through. i just need to find my will power. i doubt my own judgement when he is at the hysterical stage. or at night i seem to go into panic mode. looking for ways to calm him asap before my 2 year old wakes.
most babies i know his age or younger are going 5 hours in the day and sleeping through the night or only having one feed.
he has just had 6oz's. so i will take 2 bottles up with me and some water for when nothing else will soothe him. i am thinking of trying to make him go until 1am then 4am. then the next at 8am. if i can master 4 hours. then maybe in a few weeks i can stretch to 5 hours.
but tbh right now.. 2 hrs sleep at a time for me would be pure heaven!!

SingleMumOf2_3

afford he sleeps in his cot in my room. as cant have his own room. was hoping in the future he was share with my toddler. but until then he has to be in with me.

NickyBat

I know exactly where you are coming from, sleep deprivation is just the most awful thing.......i had it every night for 5 years!!!
Sounds like a few things really (although i am by no means an expert)
a) he doesn't know how to go to sleep on his own without the aid of something ie a bottle so have you tried a dummy?
b) maybe he is windy - try infacol before a feed
c) if he is windy and not taking enough solids - try rusk, i used to make it really runny but it did help fill him as the hungry baby milk didn't.

i tried all sorts at the time and in all honesty i can't say any one thing inparticular worked, my little one never slept a whole night until he was 5......now he sleeps 12 hours!!!!!!!!!!!

KiKi

SingleMumOf2 wrote: »

kiki i think if i can manage that we may have a break through. i just need to find my will power. i doubt my own judgement when he is at the hysterical stage. or at night i seem to go into panic mode. looking for ways to calm him asap before my 2 year old wakes.

Yeah, it's very tough when you have a 2 year old, because you want to stop bubs crying so that your toddler doesn't wake! If you have a room in the house where your toddler won't hear him crying, perhaps move your baby's cot into there.

Don't doubt your own judgement. If he was in real, true distress, you would know - you would. You're his mum.

he has just had 6oz's. so i will take 2 bottles up with me and some water for when nothing else will soothe him. i am thinking of trying to make him go until 1am then 4am. then the next at 8am. if i can master 4 hours. then maybe in a few weeks i can stretch to 5 hours.

That sounds like a really good plan. Can I be so bold as to suggest that what might help you stretch out the hours during the day at least? If you can plan your days to get out, then that will help. If he's in his pushchair, out in the air, the times between 'milk mealtimes' will feel less, and certainly feel less stressful because you're not stuck in the house, you're moving around and you can be out with your toddler, too. If you can meet up with friends, even better, it will take your mind off it.

So if you fed him at 8am, then left the house at 9 and went out for two or three hours (if you can), get home for a lunch feed at 12pm, then get out again for a couple of hours to a playgroup or something in the afternoon at some point, it may make it feel less difficult for you. Plus, it will tire your toddler out so he will sleep better through night screaming!

I really, really hope it makes things better. You can do it, and don't doubt yourself. If your baby was really ill, he wouldn't have taken those ozs he just did, and you yourself admit that he can sleep, and you probably panic and give him milk to comfort him. It's just a difficult time with both teething, learning to sleep on his own, and coping with your toddler at the same time! Do it, just for three days, and see how things go.

And post on here when you need to scream yourself!!

KiKi