16yo daughter has left home - worried sick!

teabag29

Well I may be speaking out of turn here but if it were me over my dead body would i be signing anything over, especially parental responsibility. You say this boyfriend seems nice enough and has money so if he's so nice why doesnt he tell her that the best place for her is at home. Perhaps he is the one manipulating her into having no contact with you i.e. i'll set you up with a flat etc but i dont want your dad getting oin the way so you must cut contact with him for this to work. Just because he has money doesnt mean he cant be a control freak. If you hand over parental responsibility you will lose all rights and its very concerning that someone would want for that to happen, i'd be questioning why. Like previous posters have said i'd speak to a solicitor and get some professional advice.

Fang_3

teabag29 wrote: »

Well I may be speaking out of turn here but if it were me over my dead body would i be signing anything over, especially parental responsibility. You say this boyfriend seems nice enough and has money so if he's so nice why doesnt he tell her that the best place for her is at home. Perhaps he is the one manipulating her into having no contact with you i.e. i'll set you up with a flat etc but i dont want your dad getting oin the way so you must cut contact with him for this to work. Just because he has money doesnt mean he cant be a control freak. If you hand over parental responsibility you will lose all rights and its very concerning that someone would want for that to happen, i'd be questioning why. Like previous posters have said i'd speak to a solicitor and get some professional advice.

The best place isn't always 'at home'.

I doubt we're getting the full picture here, but I don't think the problem is the boyfriend, more the OP.

Fang_3

OP - the minute your daughter moved out you started to commit benefit fraud. You have no rights to that child benefit money and you should inform the relevant people before you find yourself in a worse mess.

fantasia322

Fang wrote: »

OP - the minute your daughter moved out you started to commit benefit fraud. You have no rights to that child benefit money and you should inform the relevant people before you find yourself in a worse mess.

Shut up Fang, lol

teabag29

I see where your coming from Fang and i do understand that the problem could lie with the op. I also think not letting her out for her 16th was harsh but there may be reasons behind this we aren't aware of. However, if the girl is insisting on no contact with dad there may be problems deeper than we are aware of at home, i mean i was young and immature and moved out with my then boyfriend just before my 17th birthday but no way would i have cut off contact with my parents....that does seem odd i have to say.

Errata

Today I received a telephone call from a solicitor acting on behalf of my daughter and her boyfriend, - the call was to establish whether I would be prepared to transfer legal responsibility for my daughter to a third party, or whether I would contest this, and also if I would be prepared to transfer child benefit payments to a third party. I told the solicitor that this had all come as something of a shock to me

Sorry, it's come as something as a shock to me that a solicitor would in the first instance phone, not write, when in the grand scheme of things it's a fairly trivial matter with no degree of urgency.

teabag29

Errata wrote: »

Sorry, it's come as something as a shock to me that a solicitor would in the first instance phone, not write, when in the grand scheme of things it's a fairly trivial matter with no degree of urgency.

Maybe it was someone from the boyfriends side pretending to be a solicitor

Fang_3

teabag29 wrote: »

I see where your coming from Fang and i do understand that the problem could lie with the op. I also think not letting her out for her 16th was harsh but there may be reasons behind this we aren't aware of. However, if the girl is insisting on no contact with dad there may be problems deeper than we are aware of at home, i mean i was young and immature and moved out with my then boyfriend just before my 17th birthday but no way would i have cut off contact with my parents....that does seem odd i have to say.

She's not insisting on no contact - merely minimal contact, which is more than the OP is entitled to. She's 16, if she wants to move out then there's nothing the OP can do about it, as he's found out.

Fang_3

fantasia322 wrote: »

Shut up Fang, lol

How mature.

Am I wrong?;)

loislane999

I think a lot more of us would have moved out at 16 if we were offered a flat for nothing!

I would be against signing over responsability when she has a home and family to come back to. I would, however, see if she would take on a bank account for her child benefit to be paid into, but not a joint account with the BF. You never know, she may make a real go of things, or might miss home comforts. You need to let her know that whatever happens, you will still be there for her, and then let her go. It's a difficult one but at least you know where she is!

Good luck