Real Life MMD: Is it okay to send late wedding invites?

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  • sjb92
    sjb92 Posts: 60 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Just to agree with everyone else - yes this is fine. We did it at our Wedding, I think I may have even referred to it as an "upgrade" when we were able to bump people up from the party to the meal.
    Hope you have a fantastic day!
  • djb77
    djb77 Posts: 17 Forumite
    I think it's OK. My brother and sister-in-law did it on the day. Some people just came to the Church to see them get marry and were not invited to the reception. They had a few spare places so invited them to the reception after the ceremony. But, like most people have been saying it is all in the wording.
  • we did much the same thing at our wedding with no issues, so i would say go for it.

    if you're really worried about people taking it personally, you could always call them and say "we haven't received your RSVP yet?" - make out that the invite got lost, or perhaps you forgot to send it or something.

    it's a bit deceitful, but it could be an option if you really need to save face!
  • sjb92 wrote: »
    Just to agree with everyone else - yes this is fine. We did it at our Wedding, I think I may have even referred to it as an "upgrade" when we were able to bump people up from the party to the meal.
    Hope you have a fantastic day!

    This is exactly what I intend to do !! Like others have said...honesty is the best policy...people understand that sometimes you have to give others first refusal, and that you can't have everyone. I wouldn't be offended to be offered a late "upgrade" I would be chuffed that they would have me to their special day....as I really won't fill up any gaps with people I don't really want there just to make up the numbers.
  • We invited a couple with a few days to go to our wedding. We'd had all of our positive RSVPs but a couple of days before we bumped into a girl my wife knew, she then casually mentioned she wouldn't be making it.

    Cue us inviting another couple who in turn have turned out to be better friends than the other girl ever was. So I think yes it is ok to ask people later on. Especially if it means the difference between a wasted meal and some more friends present.
  • As long as it's worded right, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with it - just something like sammy85 said though about being able to invite more people and that you'd love it if they could come, rather than bringing the money side of things into it.
    "A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister
    Married my best friend 1st November 2014
    Loose = the opposite of tight (eg "These trousers feel a little loose")
    Lose = the opposite of find/gain (eg "I'm going to lose weight this year")
  • pineapple
    pineapple Posts: 6,931 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Sammy85 wrote: »
    I think its perfectly acceptable. I would just say to them " i know its short notice, but i've been able to invite some more people and i would love it if they could come. " or something along those lines.

    I do like this one.
    One question, if the invites haven't gone out yet, why even say anything?
  • Well, you don't really need to tell the people you invite later that they are 2nd choices.

    Get the invites out quickly, and get people's responses asap. Once you get a decline, send out an invite to your back up list immediately.

    As almost always, honesty is the best policy, and if you are asked by the later invitees you can simply say you had to restrict the attendees due to the budget. If they don't understand or don't accept that they're not real friends, so you probably wouldn't want them at your wedding anyhow. Have a happy day.
  • pollypenny
    pollypenny Posts: 29,393 Forumite
    Name Dropper Photogenic First Anniversary First Post
    This happened to us in the Summer. Daughter of a friend was marrying, they have a big extended family and it turned out that a number couldn't go.

    We, the parents' friends, were invited and we all and a wonderful time.

    If they are real friends, they'll understand.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
  • Agree that it is all in the wording. If the invites haven't gone out as yet there is no need to say anything or if people find their invite has come two weeks after someone else's, you could say you are doing them in batches to help recording replies easier, after all you are planning a wedding which is stressful enough!!

    I always think it is an honour to be asked to a wedding and share someone's special day and I would never be upset if I am on the "reserve list" - after all, if there is no space then what I don't know won't hurt me.
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