Real Life MMD: Is it okay to send late wedding invites?

Former_MSE_Lee
Former_MSE_Lee Posts: 343 Forumite
edited 25 January 2011 at 3:56PM in Weddings & anniversaries
Please give this MoneySaver the benefit of your advice...
Is it okay to send late wedding invites?
We're arranging our wedding and have a small and fairly rigid budget, which means we haven't been able to invite everyone we'd like. Although the invites haven't gone out yet, we know a few of the guests might not be able to make it and if so (and we've already paid the deposit for the meals), would it be really bad form to say to some of the people we wanted to invite, "We've paid for a meal, we wanted you to come but couldn't afford it, but now someone's dipped out so would you like to come?"
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  • Evilm
    Evilm Posts: 1,950 Forumite
    I would say yes it is ok but I wouldn't phrase it like that. A friend did once use with me the phrase "a second round of invites" and it didn't come across rudely at all.

    And depending on how close the wedding is I would call the person you are inviting and talk to them about it rather than relying on the postal service. Having had invites stuck in the post on their way to me and only finding out 2 weeks before the wedding I had been kinda annoyed the person couldn't send an email (or make a quick phone call) to me with a heads up and the dates and times.
  • emsbet
    emsbet Posts: 5,237 Forumite
    I would say yes as long as it's worded properly. We have had to "bump" some people up from evening only invites to whole day invites and not had a problem - well not that they've told us about! ;)

    You know your guests best and will be able to judge how best to approach the situation.

    xx
    :A 09.06.11:A 07.10.11:A
    Gorgeous baby boy born 16.09.12 :happylove

    :kisses2:The world moves for love. It kneels before it in awe :kisses2:

    Patience is a virtue I lack! :p
  • codemonkey
    codemonkey Posts: 6,534 Forumite
    Nothing wrong with that. I've got some people on standby in case some of the familiy I've invited can't make it. They know that I wanted to invite them but I have a massive family and the venue can only take so many so my hands are tied. They're ready to make the change from evening guests to all day guests.

    Most people would be happy and jump at the chance of a free meal and party.
    Eu não sou uma tartaruga. Eu sou um codigopombo.
  • ganonman
    ganonman Posts: 153
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    We pretty much did exactly this for our wedding. We had a standby list and there were people originally invited to the evening only who were clear on the fact that if people didn't RSVP for the whole day then we would let them know. We kept everything open and honest, but didn't word it like the question. :)
    "A bank* is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain."

    (*Unless it's Santander. The branch says they sent you an umbrella 3 times already and don't understand why you don't have it yet and want it back right now!!!)
  • bubbles0169
    bubbles0169 Posts: 6,230
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    i wouldnt word it like that either but i would definitely invite others if some couldnt make it id just say the same as the pp's how id love for them to be there from the start but the venue wouldnt hold every one. I have been bumped(from evening to day) before too and loved it!
    I am not bossy I just have better ideas:p
  • Doesn't everyone do this? Nothing wrong at all, if your friends are really your friends they will understand, and if they are offended they're not really your friends!!! At our wedding we had one couple who we invited for the whole day who failed to turn up after accepting the invite, and that offended me more!
  • As others are saying, it's fairly normal, but the choice of wording should be considered!
  • Sammy85_2
    Sammy85_2 Posts: 1,741 Forumite
    I think its perfectly acceptable. I would just say to them " i know its short notice, but i've been able to invite some more people and i would love it if they could come. " or something along those lines.
    :jProud mummy to a beautiful baby girl born 22/12/11 :j
  • luxor4t
    luxor4t Posts: 11,125
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    As long as it is worded sensitively, the only people who would be offended are the sort who look for chances to get offended, iyswim.
    I can cook and sew, make flowers grow.
  • shellsuit
    shellsuit Posts: 24,749
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    Go for it!

    We did, well we didn't give out invites, we actually asked people face to face, because a couple let us down a few days before.
    Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...
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