Living with your boyfriend/girlfriend...

anderson8

It totally depends on the couple, there no right or wrong time
we were practically living together after 4 weeks, either him at my flat or me at his house. officially moved in after 6 months together and we are now married and have a baby on the way.

charlie792

I have to say I personally wouldn't move in together so soon but thats just me. I know nothing about your relationship from that respect to make any judgement however I would say I totally agree about the cost side of things. Me and my OH discussed moving in together after 2 years together, he had moved back home after uni and was looking for a flat to rent, I hadn't found anywhere else to live for the next year, neither of us wanted to live with complete strangers and we figured we'd save a fortune by living together, although saying that this wasn't the only reason we wanted to live together obviously. Moving in together just seemed like the next step, for the previous year I had lived about 30 secs down the road so we saw each other all the time anyway, used to eat together every night etc.
I wouldn't mention anything to him about it now, leave it until nearer the time and see how things are going then.

I would say though how do you feel about living with him, do you know his bad habits etc I mean Ive got some great friends but I could never live with them.
Also you suggested a 1 bed flat, I would say maybe consider looking at two beds if they are affordable because you could find you have very little space from each other in a 1 bed. Our second bedroom is OH's study, if he doesn't want to watch TV when Im watching it he doesn't have to.

Person_one

I moved in with my ex after a year (almost exactly) of deliriously happy lovey doveyness. We split up a few months later ready to kill each other!

In my opinion you can be 'dating' for 1, 5 or 10 years but living together is always different. So go ahead and move in if you want but have a back up plan for if you change your mind 3 months in because you're ready to tear your hair out!

Pee

I was a little bit like you and scared of making a commitment. I was living in a shared house and I either had to take over the tenancy or move out. We had been together about six months at that stage, but effectively we were either living together at mine or, more usually, his. I took the chance and moved in. Otherwise I think we'd have carried on as we were for years.

I was a bit scared because I lived with someone before in a house I owned and when we split up, they had no where to go and maybe not much inclination to move out for a while. Living together at that stage is a bit stressful.

You do have to think about a) whether you can live in a one bed flat. I do, I love it and neither of us would have it any other way, especially when worrying about heating bills.
b) could you or he afford all of the rent and other bills if the other moved out, or indeed lost their job, became ill etc. Especially as moving a friend in would not be an option.
c) do you have an emergency stop gap, i.e. your mum or close friends so that if you had a bad row or did split up, you could stay somewhere else.

I would suggest you bring it up casually and see what sort of reaction you get.

podperson

I have to agree it depends on the relationship. I moved in my OH after 5 months and a lot of people did say they thought it was too early but it worked for us. At the same time though I just knew it was right so if you are questioning that then maybe it is a little early for you - however you surely don't need to start looking until July/August so maybe give it a few more months and see how things are going before you broach the subject.

Pee

The other question is, do you want to get married? If you see your long term future as living together without being married, or maybe being married but you are not fussed whether it's married or not then, fine, move in, but if your aim is to be married you may decide not to move in together until you are engaged/ a date has been set.

Person_one

Pee wrote: »

The other question is, do you want to get married? If you see your long term future as living together without being married, or maybe being married but you are not fussed whether it's married or not then, fine, move in, but if your aim is to be married you may decide not to move in together until you are engaged/ a date has been set.

Why?

That's a pretty old fashioned idea, surely its sensible to see how you get on living together day to day and dealing with the mundane world of bills, housework, shared bathrooms and duvet hogging before you make a life long commitment?

chatnoir

Myself and now OH put an offer on to buy a flat within 6months of seeing "going out". We moved in a few months later...now we have lived together gone 3 years and just got married!
It all very much depends on the couple...instead of just coming out and asking him, why not just broach the subjects of your future if the topic comes up!

charlie792

podperson wrote: »

however you surely don't need to start looking until July/August so maybe give it a few more months and see how things are going before you broach the subject.

I totally agree with this. We started looking in June. Went to view a place in July. Moved in very end of August.

Chrissy1981

I'd only been with my boyfriend for about 2 months before I realised I wanted him to move in with me -- we just hated being apart from each other!

It just sort of popped out one day (whilst dishing out a Chinese!) and he didn't freak out. He moved in about 3 months later, which gave us both a good amount of time to get used to the idea.

We've been together just over a year now and he proposed last week

If it feels right, go for it. But maybe have a period of getting used to it. Good luck!