For the singletons: challenge to get AT LEAST a snog in 2011

summertea

Hey snog seekers

Can't remember if i posted i want to join in or i just subscribed to the thread.

Regardless i want to join in please :j

and i would like some advice, i liked this guy and was told he liked me. Then his uncle became ill and i felt it would be crass to ask him out. Then i find out while i was waiting for an appropriate amount of time to pass he got a girlfriend.

I was pretty disappointed, he then broke up with his girlfriend last Sunday (they had been together about 1-2 months) and his uncle who got sick previously died on Wednesday.

I get the feeling of history repeating itself here, i don't want to be insensitive and i don't want to be a bandage or a rebound for him but considering how bad i felt last time i don't want to let the opportunity to tell him pass.

I thought about writing him a valentines card basically saying i know my timing is shocking but i like you and if you want to go out sometime in the future when you feel better about all the stuff thats going on in your life that would be really great.

what do you think? i thought that telling him face to face might just pressure him when he's in no place for it.
x

psychopathbabble

Summertea, I'd maybe just send a text or something telling him you are here if he wants to talk or get away from it all for a bit and really sorry about his uncle.

Thats just what I'd do x

Buffythedebtslayer

I would send a condolence card to be honest and say you are sorry for his loss, I personally wouldn't ask him out at this time. Do you see him regularly any where? Perhaps if you saw him in a few weeks? Its a tough one, as it depends on how close was to his Uncle, how close you are to him and when the funeral is (ie would the valentines card arrive with sympathy cards??)

I have spent an unproductive evening updating myprofile on the free dating sites and looking at inappropriate men and drooling. I want some one play with. "sulks"

ZTD

summertea wrote: »

I was pretty disappointed, he then broke up with his girlfriend last Sunday (they had been together about 1-2 months) and his uncle who got sick previously died on Wednesday.

I get the feeling of history repeating itself here, i don't want to be insensitive and i don't want to be a bandage or a rebound for him but considering how bad i felt last time i don't want to let the opportunity to tell him pass.

Why don't you contact him (I assume he's not a complete stranger) and ask how he's feeling. Kind of explore the angst around his uncle (if any - he might not actually be all that bothered), and explore the feelings around the girlfriend. If he's "OMG she's so wonderful and she's dumped me", then you know not to bother. Similarly if he's in the "all women are evil" phase.

You will have to be subtle with the questioning - no shining lights into his eyes or getting the coshes out.

Leave him with the thought that you're looking out for him. Try to leave it open ended, so that you can go for "updates". Maintain contact in such a way that he willl be expecting future contact for "updates", and that he can contact you if he should want to. This will ensure he at least thinks of you from time-to-time.

After that, it's just a case of slowly, slowly catchee monkey. "Concern" leads to "care" leads to "want" and so on. The speed depends on the answers to the questions above. If he's not bothered by the xgf, or the uncle, then you can move pretty swiftly.

I tend to fall for stuff like that, but I am a bit on the gullible side...

summertea

Thanks for the advice

susan1105

Hi I have been single for two and a half years, and have three boys.

I have tried a few online sites, I dont know where I go wrong came off them will sign up again. I dont have that much of a social life.

I was with my ex for 13 years I did meet a couple of alright guys last year but I cant stand this constant texting thing now, it you dont reply straight away its the questioning texts etc.

If someone starts to talk to me I get too excited.

I had three friends who became single the same time as me, one has had a baby and another is getting married in august they met last May.

I dont want the whole marriage thing but someone to make me laugh and snuggle on the the couch.

This year will work out, I will get out more and stop spending my friday nights swimming.

Hoopylass

I posted last week about joining mysinglefriend.com.....well I clicked on a few people and 1 guy has clicked on me back but hasnt sent a message. I have to join to send him a message so I am assuming he is in the same position. What is the point in these sites allowing free members?

LittleBoots

Hi Everyone

Summertea, sounds like you have got some very good advice there, dont let him slip through your fingers but let him know you care and are there for him.

My own challenge is to get over my ex (sorry I know if anyone reads any of my other posts you'll be thinking ohhh shutup and move on) which is proving harder than I could have ever imagined. Dont really want to be woth anyone else but I know I cant stay in crying all the time as theres no point. My friend and I are going speed dating in a few weeks. Eeek

Pink-Angel

Hi! I posted on this thread when it first started, and then when it moved I couldn't find it! But now I have. Can I sign up to the challenge? I've been single over a year, and I'm starting to think of instead of looking for Mr Darcy I might have to settle for Mr Collins instead!!

Pink-Angel

LittleBoots wrote: »

Hi Everyone

Summertea, sounds like you have got some very good advice there, dont let him slip through your fingers but let him know you care and are there for him.

My own challenge is to get over my ex (sorry I know if anyone reads any of my other posts you'll be thinking ohhh shutup and move on) which is proving harder than I could have ever imagined. Dont really want to be woth anyone else but I know I cant stay in crying all the time as theres no point. My friend and I are going speed dating in a few weeks. Eeek

LittleBoots, I'm sorry you're finding it hard. It always takes time gettting over someone, be kind to yourself. There is no rush to be with someone else. In fact you probably need this time to grieve and concentrate on yourself.

With regard to the speed dating, just think of it as a fun night out. You may find you enjoy yourself, even you're not looking for anyone. Speed dating is good fun, I've been a few times and would recommend it.

Take care.