For the singletons: challenge to get AT LEAST a snog in 2011

Buffythedebtslayer

LittleBoots wrote: »

Yep sounds like we are both in the same boat. Try very hard to stay positive and hopeful for good things, lets hope they come .

No hoping, they will especially if we both go out some more and say yes to every invitation. re bloke, when I am miserable and angry about it, I promise myself I will go out the next opportunity I get. When I am feeling more balanced (!) I try to believe that if me and this guy are meant to be it will work out. He is lovely and in many ways perfect for me, but ultimately he doesn't want what I want. If he ever does I might be waiting but in the meantime I will see who else is out there. I think the trick is to keep moving, seeing and doing. the more I sat indoors the more perfect he became and the worse I felt.

Hang in there I expect details of snogs and conquests soon!

xxx

LittleBoots

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

No hoping, they will especially if we both go out some more and say yes to every invitation. re bloke, when I am miserable and angry about it, I promise myself I will go out the next opportunity I get. When I am feeling more balanced (!) I try to believe that if me and this guy are meant to be it will work out. He is lovely and in many ways perfect for me, but ultimately he doesn't want what I want. If he ever does I might be waiting but in the meantime I will see who else is out there. I think the trick is to keep moving, seeing and doing. the more I sat indoors the more perfect he became and the worse I felt.

Hang in there I expect details of snogs and conquests soon!

xxx

I agree, part of me thinks if its meant to be it will happe. Maybe we'll both meet other people on the meantime, maybe we'll both completely move on. But yesyou are right, no point waiting for life to happen, gotta get out there and find it.

Snogs and conquests...well not really bothered about that just now, never been one for kissing randoms in clubs etc but will update the board if/when anything happens :rotfl:

Back to the original topic, anyone had any luck yet???

Sublime_2

Hmm, does your ex count. Certainly had that.............

weeclick

have a girl at work flirting with me, shame im not that way inclined hahaha

clippy_girl

ZTD wrote: »

It's a turn on for some men if you offer to show them your puppies.

Guinea pigs? Not so much...

what about hamsters? :rotfl:

nothing to update re match, been emailing but no date suggested yet!

saltnvinegar

MooBag wrote: »

We can't because we've already married you before the date occurs I know I shouldn't generalise but....deep breath.....generally, we can have a habit of building expectations

I'm with psychopathbabble on the whole claming up thing! I end up making myself look like an absolute doughnut (or at least in my mind I am!).

LOL - This thread has grown a bit since I last looked in on it!!!

:rotfl:

I loved the comment above so heres a suggestion for you lovely ladies looking for a snog......................

Shift your perception slightly so that a snog isn't the goal, but is an outcome or result of other goals. So instead of looking for a snog, instead set yourself goals like:

'I'm going to talk to 3 complete strangers (but only if I fancy them!) this week'

'I'm going to ask for the phone number of that cute guy at the bus stop or ask him if he would like to go for dinner'

Once you start taking these small steps the the result, the snog!, may be a result from it!!

Moobag & Psychopathbabble from your postings I don't think communication is a problem for you both!

So why is a pair of obviously intelligent and articulate women 'clamming up'?

IMO you react to dating in the same way as you to do any other activity that takes you out of your comfort zone. The way to tackle anything that takes you out of your comfort zone is to do more of it so you become comfortable with it!

Easier said than done I know

So start with small steps, ask to meet up with guys for Saturday morning coffees to start with. Coffee only has to last for an hour, there are no *ahem* evening date pressures and if the guy turns out to be a loser you can claim you're going shopping or have to dash to meet a friend for lunch.

Do slightly unusual dates together too so you can get an idea of the guys character and also enjoy the date for the experience (suggest a rock climbing session at your indoor climbing centre for example).

If you're both doing something a little outside your comfort zone it should break the ice a little between you and also give you something to talk about!

Do this every Saturday for a while until you feel comfortable enough to move onto a lunch or evening date. Then, the natural result of this should be the snog

Best

SnV

psychopathbabble

Good advice SnV!! I know why I do it... it's the fear of rejection and looking stupid or not being good enough.

saltnvinegar

psychopathbabble wrote: »

It's the fear of rejection and looking stupid or not being good enough.

I understand the rejection thing, but it will be his loss

Instead think of it as just more 'date experience' and an opportunity to start afresh with someone who is going to appreciate you.

As for looking stupid or not being good enough I can say emphatically that NO real man would make a woman feel stupid or not good enough.

If you are dating a man who makes you feel this way dump him immediately and go and find a man who makes you feel £million.

Best

SnV

psychopathbabble

saltnvinegar wrote: »

I understand the rejection thing, but it will be his loss

Instead think of it as just more 'date experience' and an opportunity to start afresh with someone who is going to appreciate you.

As for looking stupid or not being good enough I can say emphatically that NO real man would make a woman feel stupid or not good enough.

If you are dating a man who makes you feel this way dump him immediately and go and find a man who makes you feel £million.

Best

SnV

You should become MSE's own agony poster

The guy that I'm sort of seeing has made me feel a million dollars and nothing less (except the blip)... it's amazing what it can do for your confidence!

saltnvinegar

psychopathbabble wrote: »

You should become MSE's own agony poster

LOL As long as you mean I don't leave people in agony

psychopathbabble wrote: »

The guy that I'm sort of seeing has made me feel a million dollars and nothing less (except the blip)... it's amazing what it can do for your confidence!

Thats a great start as is the 'sort of seeing'. No pressure and you can figure him out over a period of time too so you know he's genuine.

Fingers and toes crossed for you!

SnV