For the singletons: challenge to get AT LEAST a snog in 2011

vixarooni

Yes, you offering?

Its been that long i've probably forgotten how to! I make out i've been single for 20 years, its only been 4 months ha.

puddings_2

i'd be more than happy to oblige anytime you like ;-)

maybe i'll surprise you by turning up at your work one day, deliver you the big snog (under the disapproving glare of your mate debenhamsboss probably) and then jump in the car and drive home again,

what do you think?

vixarooni

hahahaha! Debenhamsboss would probably get very jealous! Thats a long way to drive for one snog ted ha

Hoopylass

Loving your advice Buffy!

Im going out on saturday ( a rare night out ) so hoping maybe for a drunken snog! ..... well a girl can dream eh? :P

LittleBoots

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I do that, there has been a guy around now for about 7 years, have always loved him or at least it has felt that way. We dated, we broke up we dated we broke up, we have had huge gaps (the last one was almost two years) and to some extent I get on with my life. He came back a while ago, I swear just to mess with my head.

I am going to be very honest here which I don't normally like but hey!

If you are reading this and you are in your twenties pining over some bloke(either a relationship or not) please try not to waste your time. It goes so fast, suddenly you wake up and you are single, childless 30 something and wondering what the hell happened. I always thought I had time, some one would turn up (presumbly whilst I was sitting at home watching tv), I would fall in love with someone who loved me, not a man who had no long term interest in me. There would be a house and children and holidays (and a white picket fence!) and I would be happy.


If I could go back to my 25/26 year old self I would give her the following advice

1) Don't let one bad relationship put you off meeting more men. Law of averages says they can't all be scumbags. Really they can't.

2) Date more then one guy at a time. You don't have to sleep with any of them. Infact to be brutal you don't even have to like them that much, you never know!

3) Always see your friends. Even if they become smug marrieds with weird single friends. Work won't come to your funeral.

4) Accept EVERY invitation you are offered however much you would rather stay in with your cats. THis is the way to becoming a crazy cat lady.

5) ALWAYS trust your gut, if you think he is dodgy he is dodgy. get out of there fast.


Almost ten years later I will be taking my own advice, starting this Saturday with going to a singles night!

Wish me luck!

Thank You Buffy, it makes so much sense and I do know these things but its soooo hard to let go. My ex is a great guy and made me really happy when we were together. My gut tells me there is no-one out there who will ever match up to him, this is something I hope I am not right about I guess. I feel that I will always have to settle for second best .

I know what you mean about getting out there, I dont get many invitations to things though. Rarely have nights out and I have a small family so theres very rarely any weddings/parties etc (think last one was in the 90s). I've joined some social groups to socialise so hoping that will improve life a bit.

Buffythedebtslayer

LittleBoots wrote: »

Thank You Buffy, it makes so much sense and I do know these things but its soooo hard to let go. My ex is a great guy and made me really happy when we were together. Same here.My gut tells me there is no-one out there who will ever match up to him, this is something I hope I am not right about I guess. I feel that I will always have to settle for second best Same here :(.

I feel exactly the same, which is why I have waited so long. I am trying very hard to be determinded to find someone else. Some days its really hard cos I just can't be bothered and do think he is the one and that is my lot! Then other days I say yes and hope for the best!

I have agreed to go out somewhere new next weekend. No idea whether I will like it but what the hell!

xxx

ZTD

vixarooni wrote: »

I'm single with two guinea pigs. Oh dear!!!! Could be a turn on for some..... probably isnt though

It's a turn on for some men if you offer to show them your puppies.

Guinea pigs? Not so much...

ZTD

LittleBoots wrote: »

Thank You Buffy, it makes so much sense and I do know these things but its soooo hard to let go. My ex is a great guy and made me really happy when we were together. My gut tells me there is no-one out there who will ever match up to him, this is something I hope I am not right about I guess.

Your expectation that no one will ever match up to him is a self-fullfiling prophecy. Just imagine if you were going out with someone, and they were always saying: "You're not as good as she was." Exactly how long would it be before you got rid?

LittleBoots wrote: »

I feel that I will always have to settle for second best .

Men are, surprise surprise, all different.

Put the following in the order of best to worst:

• An egg and tomato sandwich
• A bowling ball
• A tin of "fruit of the forest" air-freshener
• A pair of black socks
• A purple tulip
• A car tyre pump
• A screwdriver (pozidrive)

Yes, they're all different too.

LittleBoots

ZTD wrote: »

Your expectation that no one will ever match up to him is a self-fullfiling prophecy. Just imagine if you were going out with someone, and they were always saying: "You're not as good as she was." Exactly how long would it be before you got rid?



Men are, surprise surprise, all different.


Put the following in the order of best to worst:

• An egg and tomato sandwich
• A bowling ball
• A tin of "fruit of the forest" air-freshener
• A pair of black socks
• A purple tulip
• A car tyre pump
• A screwdriver (pozidrive)

Yes, they're all different too.

Thank-You, thing is I know all this and I know thats what I'd be saying to a friend in the same position but I just cant help how I feel. I wish I didnt feel the way I do as it would make life a lot easier and I'd be able to conentrate on other tthings.

LittleBoots

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I feel exactly the same, which is why I have waited so long. I am trying very hard to be determinded to find someone else. Some days its really hard cos I just can't be bothered and do think he is the one and that is my lot! Then other days I say yes and hope for the best!

I have agreed to go out somewhere new next weekend. No idea whether I will like it but what the hell!

xxx

Yep sounds like we are both in the same boat. Try very hard to stay positive and hopeful for good things, lets hope they come .