Can't believe the mess I'm in!

dollybeads

Pink-Angel wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I'll have a look at the soa too. In a funny kind of way it's nice to know that there are others who know how this all feels. (Not that I would ever wish anyone to be in this situation.) Funny thing is I'm a professional, intelligent, independant woman, so I should have realised I had to do something sooner! Anyway, at least I am now. It's amazing how now I'm serious about sorting out my debts I'm constantly looking at ways of how I can cut back on unnecessary spending, and I've listed lots of things on ebay that I really don't need.

I'm looking into changing bank accounts at the moment - far more complicated than I imagined! I've heard the Co-op is good but I don't have one locally, and I'm stressing myself out about making sure I don't get a new bank in the same banking group as my current bank, so that the new one can't take money off me. I feel like a duck what seems to gliding around serenely, while underneath the water my feet are frantically paddling! I'll feel better once the DMP is up and running, as at least then I won't have this awful constant sinking feeling in my stomach about the fear of running out of money for the month.

Don't beat yourself up, you are doing a great job so far, recognising the need to change is the first step. I can honestly say, I posted my first post on here i think on 7.1.11, since then the changes I have made (thanks to all the support on here) has made a massive difference to me. The many challenges on here help a great deal, no spend days, grocery spend challenge, etc etc, keep you focused on how and where you can save. Keeping a spending diary has been a real eye opener. Like you I have a very responsible professional occupation with a really good salary, but am still in a mess and the doctors I work with, are in no better position either. I can negotiate hard financially at work for the best deals but always feel like an inert jelly when it comes to my own finances. This is changing, and as i now tackle each problem head on (instead of head in sand) its getting a bit easier each time. The support on here is what enabled me to start that process. Before this just too embarrassed, guilty and ashamed to do anything. Keep going, keep your head up and you will get there bit by bit. Might be worth checking out the Old Style thread on the forums, thousands of tips on how to save in some very interesting ways............Good luck to you and will be interested to keep track on how you are doing. Perhaps we can support each other? Dolly x

Pink-Angel

Thanks so much Dolly. I came on here hoping the support of others would help, and I'm really glad I signed up. I think we all need to support each other, and the tips about some of the other threads is really helpful. It's amazing how many of us are on reasonable salaries - or would be if it wasn't for the debt! One thing I'm doing at the moment is eating up food out my freezer - it's simple but saves me a bit of money. I shall be looking for other things to do to keep me motivated and focused, otherwise it gets too depressing! Good luck to you too Dolly :-) Angel x

dollybeads

Pink-Angel wrote: »

Thanks so much Dolly. I came on here hoping the support of others would help, and I'm really glad I signed up. I think we all need to support each other, and the tips about some of the other threads is really helpful. It's amazing how many of us are on reasonable salaries - or would be if it wasn't for the debt! One thing I'm doing at the moment is eating up food out my freezer - it's simple but saves me a bit of money. I shall be looking for other things to do to keep me motivated and focused, otherwise it gets too depressing! Good luck to you too Dolly :-) Angel x

Hi Angel

Yes just eating out of the cupboard or freezer makes a huge difference, so much usually thrown away. We have done this for the last 3 nights and spent nothing, the usual me would have spent about £40 for 3 nights meals! some really good tools on this site, try the demotivator (link on the main page). I have a bit of a diet coke addiction, and worked out from that in seconds its costs me £350.00 per annum or nearly 17k for the duration of my working life!!!! It also tells you how long you will need to work each year to pay for it. Great for doing before you want to buy anything or to check how much incidental spending is costing you.

Another really useful tool on here is the snowball, from the SOA (statement of affairs). This looks at all debts (you need accurate APRs etc to start with) and works out how long it will take to pay off debts, but which to pay first and by how much each month, based on any you have left over at the end of the month. its very inspiring, I have 35k in debt but can be debt free by Oct 13 if I am v careful with spending. I can't guarantee I will do this in this time frame but and I know its V ambitious, but this is my goal and what I am aiming for. All of this helps, and the wonderful support on here. Will keep in touch and look forward to hearing how you get on. Dolly x :T

charlyze2

Hi Pink-Angel.

Just wanted to say hi and good luck being a DFW.
Def take a look at the snowball calculator. it helps a lot and its really inspiring seeing how your DFD comes down if/when you can make overpayments

charlyze2

theoretica

I hope you are looking to either organise your own DMP or go through one of the charities rather than a company which will charge you.

The old style forum here is a good place to find suggestions for eating healthily but cheaply.

Good luck!

Pink-Angel

Thanks again everyone for the tips. Will have a look at the snowball etc later.

My DMP will be with CCCS, they have been really helpful. I'm just waiting for a couple of credit card refund to go through and then I can submit accurate figures for the debts. The figures make horrifying reading, but at least I'm not burying my head in the sand any longer.

I've had a bit of shopping addiction, buying new things has always made me feel better (although that feeling has never lasted). The good thing is that now I've 'seen the light' I've lost all desire to look in the shops, and feel I only want to spend my money on essentials. It's taken long enough but I've finally learned that having nice things, nice clothes doesn't make me a better person, and that people who really care about me won't be bothered that I can't go shopping every weekend.

Hope eveyone has a good day :-)

josiebabie

You will find Pink-Angel that being frugal and searching for bargains is addictive too! I know it sounds unlikely but trust me!

dollybeads

Yep I know replacing one addiction with another is not necessarily such a great thing, but better its a MSE one! At least we all defo benefit from it. Yay, well done Angel hang in there, it gets better day by day as you gradually claw your way back to control.

As you say, material things, are just things and in the end don't make you feel any better about yourself, if anything worse after the reaslisation of how much you have spent!! I think most of us in debt have had this (and are still wrestling with the spending elves).

Hope you all have great day today and a thrifty one at that x

Pink-Angel

Thanks, I like the idea of becoming a MSE addict as opposed to a shopping addict!

I'm becoming a frequent library visitor! I work in town so it's somewhere to go at lunchtimes. Plus another way to save money, borrowing books and magazines instead of buying them! :-)

This may sound silly but I'm anxoius at the idea of living without without a credit card. I've always had one in case of emergencies. I did think of keeping back the one with the lowest debt, but it's £1000 and I really need to include to ALL my debts for this to work!

Hope eveyone's doing ok?

Pink-Angel

Well, I have an appointment Friday to open a new bank account. I will feel better once things are moving. I have wondered whether I'd be better having an IVA (becuase some of the debts are written off after 5 years and if banks can pay millions in bonuses they can afford it!). But then I'm the one who wracked up these debts so that doesn't feel right, plus there seem to be more implications with an IVA than a DMP. It worries me that I keep reading about banks who keep slapping on the interest charges because then I feel I'll never be free ... But I guess I have to one step at a time.