Parents pressuring me to take a loan out for them

Primrose

This is a horrible situation in which to find yourself with divided loyalties between your OH and your father, but you're married now and that is where your first loyalty should lie. Your father has been a grown up adult far longer than you have and should have learned how to manage his finances by now.

The best thing you can do for him is to refer him to the Citizens Advice Bureau (and if necessary, go with him if he's incompetent financially) so that he can get professional advice on how best to handle his debts. But don't loan him money and certainly don't act as a guarantor. This could finish up by ending your marriage if it all goes pear shaped.

Needhelpsaving

My dad has a docs appointment in the morning and I have settled the two biggest interest pay day loans. My mom and I have talked him through the budget we have set and have factored in repayments to both my mom and I starting 25.01.11. We have explained that he still owes the money, but just at a lower interest rate than before.

My OH is fully involved and understands why I have done this; as if things got worse and something did happen to my dad; I would have the debts (but worse), funeral costs and no dad. I have been harsh and laid it on the line that this is the first and last time this will ever happen and that if he messes me around; I will cut him off -no walking me down the isle (if I ever get there!) and no grandkids (again if I get there!).

I have tried to minimise my risks, but support at the same time . . . .I just hope it pays off x

Primrose

Needhelpsaving wrote: »

My dad has a docs appointment in the morning and I have settled the two biggest interest pay day loans. My mom and I have talked him through the budget we have set and have factored in repayments to both my mom and I starting 25.01.11. We have explained that he still owes the money, but just at a lower interest rate than before.

My OH is fully involved and understands why I have done this; as if things got worse and something did happen to my dad; I would have the debts (but worse), funeral costs and no dad. I have been harsh and laid it on the line that this is the first and last time this will ever happen and that if he messes me around; I will cut him off -no walking me down the isle (if I ever get there!) and no grandkids (again if I get there!).

I have tried to minimise my risks, but support at the same time . . . .I just hope it pays off x

This has been a difficult situation for you. You are right to draw this line which your father cannot be allowed to cross. The important thing is that your OH is involved and supportive and hopefully he too will be making it clear to your father what now needs to happen.