Parents pressuring me to take a loan out for them

Judith_W

Agree with looking on Debt Free Wannabe thread. I don't know much, but IVA is not the only option, perhaps Debt magagement plan where you agree with your creditors to pay back a lesser amount for a longer period of time. It wrecks your credit rating but it looks like is terrible already.

the_cat

Actually I think that giving in and signing for the loan would be unkind

The longer it takes for him to realise that he has to sort out his financial problem and get proper help for any MH issues, the worse his life will be and the deeper the mess he will create in the meantime

The only kind thing to do is refuse. He will obv not see it this way and you will have to steel yourself to the emotional blackmail and tantrums. Until he accepts he needs to get help properly, his life will not improve. It is also unfair in the extreme to saddle your OH with these issues

It won't be easy though.....Good luck

Hermia

hoogervaaner wrote: »

I would not sign. Please learn from my having given a family member £10,000 to 'start from fresh', they are now back in debt and asking to 'start from fresh again'.

Same here. I have watched two relatives get into debt, be helped out of it by the rest of the family, get back into debt and it goes on and on. There is nothing in the OP's first post that makes me think that if he gets his loan he will then be incredibly careful, pay the loan back and save for the future etc. Give him all the support you can, but don't give him the cash. If he doesn't pay you back it will destroy your relationship.

Fang_3

Why would you have to take your brother in? He's got two parents - are you saying that both of these would be homeless?

Hobbit56

What a horrid situation to be placed in.
Your Father is trying to act like a child to your parent - and OH isnt helping much either!!

There is no way that you should take a loan out for your father or guarantee a loan that he takes out - that would be like giving an alcoholic booze! and would threaten your financial well-being and your future with the OH.

I echo what other's have said - your father needs to speak to one of the Debit Charities (CAB or Payplan etc) to get really good advice and start to sort this out.

GOOD LUCK

pupsicola

Dont do it. If it is an interest rate of 53% you are not dealing with standard loan companies. It could get nasty if your dad or youself cannot make the payments.

Someone cant try to guilt-trip you into something like this by saying they are contemplating suicide. Tell your dad straight that he must seek financial advice and get on top of his debts himself. What happens if you did clear this money. Your dad wouldn't have learnt how to stand on his own two feet and get on top of his finances.

Emmzi

If it is a grand or so, I would sell stuff myself, whatever I could, and pay it off, as a one off.

If it is more I would go to a debt charity appointment with him to help get it sorted.

Tropez

I haven't read the responses so I apologise if I have covered something already mentioned.

The mental health issues are rightfully causing you concern and it would be irresponsible of me to suggest that you ignore them, however, they cannot sway you on your position because if he is that bad at managing his finances that he took out four pay day loans, and is taking out even more to pay for them, then taking out a loan on his behalf is only going to drag you down with him.

On the positive side, Pay Day loans are generally not for large amounts. Is there the possibility of you, your dad and your brother working out something to pay them off?

Debt charities exist, it might be worth looking through them.

If he's ignoring phone calls from DCA's then he best stop doing it now. A debt collection agency is more responsive to people who are open and honest - some of them are utter scum in the way they hound people but the majority just want their money. If you can convince him to discuss a reasonable repayment plan this may help.

Head over to Debt-Free Wannabe and take a print out of the statement of affairs sheet and get him to fill it in - even convince him you're "considering" (do not say you will though) the loan - and then repost it on there so people can guide you how best to reduce your father's outgoings.

If your brother is living with your father, try and get an idea from him about just what is going on. Why did your father take a payday loan in the first place? It is all well and good solving the problem but you need to look at tackling the issues that caused it in the first place.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

d123 wrote: »

It's pointless lying in a case like this, especially to someone with MH issues. If they catch you out with a lie you would lose any trust there might be and any amicable resolution is gone.

Anything else the OP says after getting caught lying means her father would think everything she said was a lie.

??????????

It's not lying.

The ex MIL was chased for her husband's credit card repayment for years. (no, she wasn't on it as well and I did finally get them to leave her alone, but it didn't stop them telephoning, writing and threatening bailiffs and compulsory sale of her bungalow) (ETA: at 50 odd percent interest - for what period? Three months? A week? It's hardly likely to be a reputable lender that he's going to - and of course, the average shark instantly walks away and writes off a sizeable loan, don't they?)

and committing suicide would be dumping a heck of a lot of the problem on a 13 year old in my eyes.

Eager_Elephant

The only types of loans which have guarantors are from sub prime lenders.

The guarantor you provide is your house. I expect the loan will be with FLM loans - I have posted about them before.

Now that the Pay Day loans have been passed on it will be easier to negotiate with the debt agencys.

I also agree with the other posters who recommend that he goes to a debt advice charity, they should be able to negotiate lower payments on his behalf which will take some pressure off.

Obviously if these are not his only debts then there may be a formal solution needed such as bankruptcy.

The only problem with payday loans is that there is something like 300+ of them (although some are run by the same companies) so it is likely he could do this all over again if you just pay them off for him.

Hope you get on ok when you have a family meeting.

EE