startagain, Starts Again....... Again

Aesop

SA, hope you are ok

savingwannabe

dojoman wrote: »

There you go SW, that is my dog in the pic now:D

Ooooh lovely. Jolly nice doggie. I hope SA is ok and happy too.

startagain_2

Hi everyone


Sorry I haven't been around - I am just so tired! When I think of the hours I used to work, this should be a walk in the park these days but for some reason I am just feeling a bit worn out. I actually do know why....

I am finding it quite hard to make ends meet working part time and having the housing and council tax benefits cut. I get paid next week so that will help things a bit but it does play on my mind... nasty memories from the dim and distant past.

I am not sleeping well - probably for the reason above. There is nothing worse than feeling tired but not being able to sleep. I wake up feeling more tired than when I went to bed!

Trying to make a good impression in a new job always takes a bit more effort - when I feel a little more settled it should be easier. I may have put the cat among the pigeons by emailing the HR manager yesterday asking if I could be considered for any full time jobs that come up in the local office? I don't want to upset my current manager but I am actually worse off at the moment than when I was on the dole!!!

Stupidly got back on talking terms with my ex and now I feel like I wish I hadn't. I speak to him and all the old jealous and questioning nature that I had before comes flooding back and I don't like it at all. God, I just wish I could be hypnotized into forgetting he evr existed. At least all the letters, photos and momentos have gone to the tip. Best place for them - if only my memories could have gone with them!

I know when I am feeling less tired and a bit more like my normal, sparky self I will be able to let all this rubbish just go straight over my head. Weekend coming up - hooray!!!

Thanks for keeping my diary going all of you... what would I do without you?

Hugs

SA

Aesop

I knew something was up, but have spread myself a little thin, taken on too much as usual and when I get home from work, so tired these days, going to bed early. If you hadn't posted tonight, would have e-mailed you.

I hope you can get a full time position locally. Sending waves of good karma your way.

We were talking today at work and work is very thin on the ground and it maybe that one or two of us may lose our jobs. No one has yet spoken about it but the threat is there. I am not too bothered, as at least it gives me the kick I need to look around for something else. One of the other women doesn't have to work, her husband can support her, but she needs to work for her sanity.

Here's to the job fairy **********~~~~~******** this is supposed to be lucky job dust

beanielou

The_Dragon wrote: »

So you love the Furry Dragon (tm) in my Avatar then

I do indeed:D
Used to have two:D

Wordsmith

Hello, SA. Glad you touched base with us.

Did you tell your manager why you asked about full-time positions? I'm sure she would understand your reasoning. Hopefully when you get paid you can see that things are not so dire and that will give you a bit of peace of mind.

Can you stop talking to and texting your ex? Remember how much better you felt for getting him out of your life for a while? If you could stick to it, it would help get him out of your system as well. You can keep hold of the happy memories - those times happened and can't be taken away. BUT there are also some unhappy ones, so bear these in mind when talking yourself out of contacting him. I know how hard it is. But, really, you don't need him. Your happiness does not depend on him. And really all he is doing is making you unhappy ... so what's the point? Sorry to be harsh, when you are tired an' all, but don't make things worse for yourself.

You are doing great. Bluddy great. I'm sure you are doing well at work, so don't try too hard to make a good impression (you are not putting the old job behind you, are you?) - just be you. Financially things will come together when you have been working for a while. Work now knows you would like more hours, so trust that if it is right that you should do more hours, you will be offered more hours.

(I had my lecturing voice on a little bit, but not a lotta bit.)

savingwannabe

Well I get paid to lecture so I am going to chuck in my tuppenceworth too. You sound worried about finances but it is because you are tired. Work will understand that you are part time and need to make ends meet. If the people in the office are getting hoity toity ignore them. You have a right to look for a job that pays a liveable wage. Wordsmith, Aesop, everyone agrees that this will ease hopefully with the second pay packet.

Are you making friends locally? If not you need to chat to people so you don't feel so isolated even if it is one of us we dont mind. Steve from our thread rings me every night and we chat about nonsense it's great, i dont ever do anything but work so he has to tell me what he bought, what his partner is doing and what his family is doing and it really gives me something to look forward to. I have lots of close friends but my MSE friends are going through financial worries and we share a bond that is strong and i love it.

Err in my opinion when a woman feels jealous about something it is because she is right to trust her instincts. He really sounds like bad news. Wouldn't you rather meet someone genuine in this country so you can see him whenever you like? I hope he is not softening you up as he wants money. Sorry i dont trust him. I know we dont know him but i am convinced you can do better. Please do not settle for second best. You have Mr T and us and we love and treasure you.

If i were you I would delete his number from my phone and block any calls from him. You cannot allow positive things to happen if you are blocking them as you are feeling doubtful about your ability to cope without him. I haven't known you for long but you are a strong, positive person and I am convinced you can replace time spent on him with valuable treats that will make you feel better. Have a warm bubblebath, watch a good tv programme, ring one of us, we can ring you (just pm anyone we wont mind), make some nice food, make plans, enter some competitions, look up events like carboots that are happening. Plan a meet with someone local. Have you seen Angel recently? meet up with someone who is a true friend. You deserve so much please have faith in yourself.

One of the students at work committed suicide recently and it has made everyone re- appraise what they are doing. We have one life SA and we must make the right choices to ensure that we get the positive rewards that we deserve. Please be kind to yourself. You can do a hell of a lot better than him.

Sorry this is so personal. If you lived closer i would insist you came and stayed with me this weekend so i could make you see how wonderful and precious you are. You cheer us all up when we are having down days and are a real treasure. MSE Andrea will probably tell me off for trusting someone as she is very kind and protective (we have to be careful as there are bad people) but you are the real thing and anyone of us would be happy to be real life friends with you.

hugs, kitXXXXX

Aesop

Wise words as usual from SW. xxx

savingwannabe

Wish i had some blooming wisdom I just dont want my friends to be hurt. It is always nice people that get hurt. SA needs a big hug and a nice glass of wine, fizzy pop or tea and she needs to know we all think so much of her.

Aesop

savingwannabe wrote: »

Wish i had some blooming wisdom I just dont want my friends to be hurt. It is always nice people that get hurt. SA needs a big hug and a nice glass of wine, fizzy pop or tea and she needs to know we all think so much of her.

listen thinkology! you have got blooming wisdom! stop beating yourself up!