startagain, Starts Again....... Again

savingwannabe

Hey for the record i would love to work with you. There is nothing wrong with you they were weak employers.

Sweetie i am so sorry and really angry. Pigs! how dare they. Well they took the coward's way out. Well all it does is weaken their business. And miss nastypants (do you know Miche? she taught me that) will get her comeuppance in the end, i have seen it happen too many times. This is an opportunity and must be seized on as such. I hope the interview goes well, I am sure it will, please do not give the previous employer as a reference or even mention that you worked there. Sell your positives: you are hardworking, bright and experienced in a whole variety of areas, you make friends very quickly and can sell for anyone, your empathy is amazing you would be an asset to any organisation. You dont need to worry you have the intelligence and motivation to turn this situation around and move from strength to strength. Wish i knew a hitman i would send him round. Dojo do you know anyone?

You did nothing wrong. Chill tonight you have escaped and deserve a relaxing night. Big hug and all my love, kit.

3Dogs

Wordsmith wrote: »

Then sit down and write all the positive things you know about yourself. They are true and they are what matter. Write the names of the people that think the world of you - there are several on this page as a start.

I may not post on here, well only once that I can remember, but I do keep up to date, as SW has mentioned you lots, so put my name of that list as well SA please

Aesop wrote: »

((((((((((((((((((SA))))))))))))))))))))
Is it worth looking at ACAS website and asking their advice about sacking you without any contract, terms and conditions, etc? Maybe worth compensation, I don't think you would want to go back to that job.

VERY good advice as always Aesop - it is definitely worth checking this out SA - you've got to know your rights because that way you are in control - and being in control is what it's all about in oh so many ways

startagain_2

It has taken me over an hour to boot my computer up this morning. Gremlins, at least I have got the time to wait....

As I always do, I have been going back over what has happened and I think the writing was on the wall since I began the job.

The boss likes young pretty girls in the office - but this hadn't proved particularly successful in the past. I was actually interviewed and hired by the female HR manager who came up from the Head Office but I don't think I was what they wanted or expected in the branch. In his words to me yesterday "I don't fit in". They could have attempted to resolve it - I am a good worker, flexible as to my hours, and experienced. But No, they took the cowards way out and sacked me. I do wonder what on earth the little madam said to them though. At the end of my conversation with him over coffee I was under the distinct impression that I still had a job. Apparently not.

It is very easy to tell people to "think positive" and put it behind me - heaven knows, I do it myself all the time. But when it is actually happening to you it is very difficult to put that into practice. I know what I am capable of, but I haven't got the youth, IT know-how or qualifications that some of these youngsters have got nowadays. When you have worked with a pyscologist for two years on your issues that stem from being rejected as a child, it becomes much harder to accept the rejections that each job application invariably brings. I dread each fortnightly visit to the Jobcentre and the inevitable cross questioning as to what efforts I have made to find a job. I get quite tearful as there is no privacy and it is so difficult.
I am in my mid fifties, single - I always thought I would be retiring at 60 but that has now been changed to 65 and possibly later. Who the heck wants to employ me, and this is the important bit, in a non patronising, worthwhile job? I don't want to do shelf filling for B & Q or Meet and Greet for Asda.

Am I depressed, should I see my GP? What do I do?
I don't know, I really don't. It is 3 weeks until I see my Psychologist again. On Tuesday, when I saw him, he thought I would be promoted to Office Manager, couldn't have been further from the reality. See what I mean about people either love me or hate me?

This is sounding like a "woe is me" post and I apologise. But thoughts are whizzing around in my head. I think I am nervous about the Jobcentre - I thought that was behind me, apparently not.

I will post later and let you know how it went. Thank heavens I managed to renew my car insurance paying for it in one go. There are no bills outstanding, just back to living a meagre hand to mouth existence. What a difference a year makes.

Hugs to you all who have offered your support, Thank you.

SA

Wordsmith

Good luck at the Job Centre. Don't allow them to get you down. Let us know how it went as soon as you get back (don't turn computer off so it has to reboot!).

And it's not a woe-is-me post. You need to sound off - who wouldn't in the situation?

Remember, you are strong.

savingwannabe

Petal i can completely understand you having some confidence issues (I do all the time). You can ring your psychologist for an earlier appointment and in emergencies they help you over the phone. I was suicidal for a while well after i thought i had my confidence back and mine changed her dates and it did me a lot of good.

Jobwise you will get something nice where you feel valued and you are doing the right thing. I genuinely dont think you did anything wrong. They are a company of cowards and he couldn't stand up to smellypants that is it. Nothing to do with you. I bet he is terrified of her. Leave the idiots to it. Go into your next interview with a brave smile and knock'em dead ok. We always feel scared but people dont see that, you can win everyone over but not if they are idiots. Who wants to work with people like that anyway you deserve much better.

I can't diagnose depression but i have a lot of experience of having it. Are you crying a lot? can't sleep, head racing, can't eat, eat too much, feeling worthless or anything else? if any of those applies it is essential you pop into see your doctor and they can decide what to do. Many things can be done.

Many years ago something bad happened to me, i was the scholarship student (very rare) and new hope of a nice university, i had to leave, move home, cut myself off from everybody friends and family and start again. I didn't think i would ever get over it. But moving away from the situation was the best thing i ever did and i have grown in so many ways I would never ever have thought of. Sometimes when bad stuff happens we feel it is our fault, it isn't it is just life. Sometimes it deals us curveballs and we have to learn to carry on and not let them get us down. We have many aids - doctors, psychologists, pills, healthy food, friends and internet friends and most of all you have You. You may feel that you are but i promise you are not alone. I prayed for you yesterday. One day you will look back at this and like the clever people said before me you will see this as an opportunity where you changed your life for the better. Do not give up i cannot think of anyone more likely to succeed.

Everyone goes through this look what i just found, it can feel like the end of the world somes but i promise it is not. Love you lots, sw.

"...I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa..."

http://www.quotegarden.com/adversity.html

startagain_2

Fantastic post, as usual sw and thanks to Wordsmith for finding the time to write when you are having your own black cloud time. I really appreciate it. Off to dog walk and duck feed and will be back on later.
Thanks again, you lovely people.
SA

Aesop

SA, if you think you maybe depressed, go to see your Dr. At least if he thinks you are, then you can tell the JobCentre about this.

I will PM you.

(((((((((((((SA))))))))))))))))))))

Aesop

Please contact ACAS for more advice
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/EmploymentContractsAndConditions/DG_10027905

dojoman

Hi SA, I will not patronise you but I will say you are in my thoughts, and I hope things get better for you, DJ

The_Dragon

SA my OH was in a similar situation (being bullied etc) and he eventually left citing constructive dismissal (and even then the bully tried to twist it so he didn't get his final salary!!), so best of luck with the Job Centre and the job applications, I hope a good job with people that appreciate you comes your way soon.