Very unexpected pregnancy - am terrified

reallydontknowwhattodo

I have looked up the medication on the net and its more that its quite a common antideppressant/anti anxiety drug, so has not been tested much at all on its effects on a unborn baby.

Though i also know that the leaflet advises that you do not become pregnant whilst taking it and i spoke to my doc once about what would happen when i wanted to try for kids and they said that ideally i would need to be off it for a year before trying to conceive - im hoping that this is just to be 100% safe, as they dont know what might happen, rather than they know its bad.

Thank you all again, your posts have stopped me panicing a little and nice to know others have been in similar postions. Just feel so stupid that ive let this happen-still cant understand how it happened (well obviously i know the biology part!) but were always so careful.

Well now to tell partner, he has no idea whats coming and i hope he reacts the way im expecting him too.

RAS

Hi

Please remember two things (well a bit more).

1. NO contraceptive is 100% safe. And things like the pill are less effective if you have taken antibiotics, been sick, had an upset stomach etc.
2. it is very very early days. One of the reasons people did not really confirm pregnancy in the "old" days was because a percentage fail in the first trimester, naturally. It is probably about 40 percent of conceptions. The way I think of it is "I am pregnant" now but only about week 16 would I say "I am having a baby".

So be realistic both ways and ask your partner to be the same.

hngrymummy

reallydontknowwhattodo wrote: »

I have to keep taking the medication until i have been to the docs though, as i know that stopping it suddenly is not a good idea and im going to feel really bad all weekend taking the pills, not knowing what damage they could be doing.

I've not read the rest of the thread, but I would echo the fact that babies are pretty hardy things. I didn't know I was pregnant for 7 weeks, and during that time I drank a lot, ate a lot of things you're not supposed to eat, went on some long walks, did 4 days of brick laying and helped pour a concrete slab. According to all the health warnings, I did almost everything wrong in the first 7 weeks of it's life. This one is a right wriggler and still going strong 28 weeks later.

I hope things go well for you, whatever you decide to do.

vroombroom

I posted a very similar thread in September - 4 months on OH and I have moved in and even though we are going to be skint, we are excited about the arrival in April.

Its a scary time but you have to do what feels right for YOU x

FairyShazza

Unfortunately accidents do sometimes happen even to those who have been very careful, this can be through no fault of your own but you are doing everything correctly and seem to be coping with the shock of finding out about your pregnancy really well. As another poster says even for those who have been trying seeing those two lines can be somewhat of a shock when it happens.

I would imagine that your doctor will firstly ask how you are feeling about the pregnancy, they shouldn't suggest an abortion as I don't think ethically they are allowed to do this and ultimately it has to be your decision what you want to do, it seems from your comments that this is not a route you wish to go down though. If you decide you wish to continue with the pregnancy they will then probably look at your medication and what course of action to take, they may suggest a different brand of anti depressants or may even refer you to someone else possibly. Lots of ladies who are pregnant continue to take medication for differing mental health problems throughout under close supervision without any problems and there is no reason why you shouldn't be the same.

Talk to your partner, spend the weekend discussing things and how you want to deal with them. If you can be open and honest with each other from the start this will help you both greatly in the long run, ok so your living situation may not be ideal but this is something you can consider later on. Remember it is early days and anything van happen but just take each day at a time, speak to your partner and your doctor and take things from there.

Wishing you all the best - let us know how you get on

Counting_Pennies_2

Congratulations. I do hope all goes well with OH tonight and the doctor next week.

Do try not to worry, you can't do anything about it, and any rash decision between now and the doctors appt is fruitless, you will have been taking these drugs during conception, and the development thus far. So do continue on your meds until you see the doctor.

To the point about the NHS Direct advice, I would suggest steering clear on this particular subject. Every advice I have received from them has resulted in a recommendation to go to A&E, each time it has been virtually laughed at when I got there, but because I was calling about my children, I got the feeling I would be seen as remis if I hadn't gone.

In terms of your OHs reaction, don't be surprised if you get a stunned silence, or a reaction other than you expected. Especially as this has not been planned. My OH didn't react as enthusiastically to the news and it wasn't that he didn't want the children, he had an idea in his mind how it would have gone and me doing the test before telling him my intentions made him upset.

In terms of when the baby arrives, due to your existing problems you should be monitored closely and probably have more help than the average new mum, but I would suggest having lots of help around you. Having a baby sounds so lovely having a little one in your arms, all the pictures look so lovely. With it also comes lots of broken sleep and as time goes on it can get testing, so do take care of yourself. Get lots of breaks, have lots of people coming in to help.

hth

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

My old boss had a massive gynae clinic (which is where any referrals for terminations of pregnancy would be sent). Not one of the ladies referred had been advised to have a termination on the grounds of mental illness - plenty of other illnesses, but never mental illness.

Even the few that had been advised that in view of their other medical conditions, a termination may be advisable, were advised by my boss that it was their decision - if they wanted to continue with the pregnancy, he/the department would do everything they could to support them throughout.

I know this is only anecdotal, but I am not aware of anyone ever being told to end a pregnancy on those grounds, as it isn't the doctor's right to instruct this.

It is your right to choose.

flora48

((((Hugs to you))))
Just to say not to panic. You need time to think, to speak to the medics and to make informed choices. As an impatient person myself I know that the weekend will seen endless for you, I am sure that there will be alot of support for you when you get to see the doc, no-one can advise without your medical history. Share your news with your partner, discuss how you both feel and try not to worry, hard I know. Wishing you the very best whatever is decided.

Wilma33

Ring NHS direct and ask for advice about your tablets.

Sequeena

I was on 75mg venlafaxine before finding out I was pregnant. I came off them straight away as per my doctors recommendation but my midwife is not happy at all. She's putting me in contact with a midwife who specifically deals with this. Maybe you can get the same support?

Also, my midwife has asked if it's ok to tell the health visitor about my condition. Not because they think I'm nuts, it's so they can give me the help that I need, not what a 'normal' mum would need when baby arrives.

Good luck