Very unexpected pregnancy - am terrified

reallydontknowwhattodo

Have just done a pregnancy test and its a very definate positive. Did not intend for this to happen, have been very very careful (am 31 and never even had a scare before today) and its 100% not planned at all. I am only a few days late, period was due on monday this week, so still very early days.

I do have a long term partner, who i suspect will secretly be over the moon.

I have mental health problems and take daily medication for this (the problems are all under control though.) and the medication as far as i know is not one safe to use during pregnancy (which is why im so shocked this has happened as if anything been extra careful since taking them)

I would love a baby, but now is not the best time for this to happen, as me and partner are not living together, im with my mum as i moved back home when the problems with my health detoriated and he is in a tiny studio flat. But on the plus side we are both working (me only part time, whilst i get back on feet.)

I realise i need to see the doc asap, but the earliest i can hope to do that now is monday and im terrifed that when i do an abortion will be what they advise due to the medication and i think i'd find that idea very hard to cope with.

Dont really know what im asking, think im just babbling as im very very shocked, only took the test 'just in case' as my periods can be irregular anyway and REALLY didnt expect a positive result.

xtcc

You need time to think what is best for you. People will have very strong opnions about what is right and wrong.

knithappens

I was on medication for depression when i got pregnant. I had to stop the medication, but there are some that you can take on advice from your Doc, try not to worry, I am sure they will reassure you.

Congratulations

LJM

i do not think they would reccomend and abortion more likely tell you to stop taking the tablets and change them i think you need to speak to someone is there no way possible for you to even speak to the nurse at your doctors surgery, would maybe put your mind at rest over the weekend. at least you should discuss it with your partner

abby1234519

My doctor hinted that being a mum would stabilise me, obviously I am going to be monitored for PND when the little one arrives

faithcecilia

Its probably a good idea to call the doctor so at least you will know when the appointment is. You are in shock with this and will need time to think about what has happened and what you want or need to do.

A friends of mine is on high dose medication for mental health problems and when she fell pregnant her psychiatrist monitored her carefully and got her medication to a level that kept her fairly stable while minimising the risks to the baby. When she was born she had to stay in hospital a couple of days while the drugs got out of her system but she, and my friend, are absolutely fine. You may find it is possible to do similar if you decide you do want to keep the baby.

Its easy to say, but do try not to get yourself too stressed over the weekend. Take care.

belfastgirl23

Often tablets are not recommended in pregnancy because they have not done all of the relevent tests to make sure they are safe, rather than because they know the tablets are damaging. So don't worry too much about this in the first instance. it's like all the guidelines on what to eat and not to eat, as my mum said, she happily ate all sorts of cheeses, drank and smoked through her pregnancies and we all turned out fine Babies are pretty hardy. As a society we work so hard on minimising the risks that we probably unnecessarily scare people along the way!

Beyond the medical issues, you need to establish how YOU feel about this pregnancy? I always think you have a little voice somewhere inside you that tells you the truth. I think the fact that you're terrified of being told to have an abortion means your little voice is ok with the baby. What do you think?

melly_g

Hi,
I can understand this has come as a big shock to you but it's not necessarily the end of the world. As you said you are in a stable relationship and you both work which is a good thing and you said your partner would be pleased.
Lots of people with mental health problems have babies and it can be a good thing because it's gives them a positive thing to focus on.
I'm sure the doctors can sort out medication which you can take while pregnant. They would never suggest that you abort your baby just because of the medication you are on. There are ways around everything.
Remember also many women have healthy babies who take drugs and drink excessively or who don't even know they are pregnant.
As you can't see them until after the weekend you can sit down with your partner and discuss what is best for both of you.
Only you can make the decision which is right for you.
Good luck with whatever you do.

Adelicia

I have several friends who have been on various medication whilst pregnant, and it's often possible to change one's medication to be suitable for pregnancy. I hope you will find your doctor is supportive of your right to choose, and if they aren't, then consider a second opinion.

I will say my (planned) pregnancy has really helped me with my recovery from a mental illness (an ED). Having another person in there has kept me strong and stopped me slipping back into old, unhelpful behaviour. However, everyone reacts differently to things.

Good luck with whatever your choice is. As xtcc says, lots of people will have strong opinions, and it's fine to listen to them, but don't let them make your mind up for you.

budget_budd

I couldn't just read and run, Please do see a doctor asap, from my own experience (on anti-d's and unexpected pregnancy) I was referred to the local mental health team and saw a specialist who was able to advise me of the options available, - and this did not include abortion as I wanted to keep my baby (I sadly miscarried - not thought to be related to the meds) anyway I could have changed to a different medication or gone through a reduction in my meds to lessen the effects on baby.

Sorry if this is not much help but I wanted to say there are options.

Please seek out all the help you need / can get and make an informed decision thats right for you.

reallydontknowwhattodo

Thank you all so much for the lovely replies - nearly made me cry!

I will talk to my partner tonight, am waiting for him to finish work at the moment. I know he has always wanted children, so apart from the housing situation think he will be pleased.

Also nice to hear that you dont all think the doc will necessarily tell me an abortion is the only option (im not anti abortion, but just dont think i could do it unless for a reallly valid reason.) as whatever i do i want it too be our decision and not one we have to make if that makes sense.

I have to keep taking the medication until i have been to the docs though, as i know that stopping it suddenly is not a good idea and im going to feel really bad all weekend taking the pills, not knowing what damage they could be doing.