To new beginnings. To the pursuit of...somethingness.

Karmacat

MrsMoo2U wrote: »

Ah KC. Thanks for that. I do feel stepping away is the right thing to do.

You're very welcome!

I would say that if you felt uncomfortable with this man then I would avoid accepting his request. Linkedin is all about networking on a professional level. Not like facebook at all as far as I can see but that doesnt mean that you wont get nutters. Also it may be that he has your email address in his contacts from when he bought from you. He may just have joined Linkedin and done the find all contacts in my address book thing. If he would be useful to you from a professional point of view then it might be worth adding him but otherwise go with your instincts.

Good point - professionally, he's nothing to do with me, he works in Patent Research, of all things! I think you may well have a point that he's just let LinkedIn go through all his contacts .... I'll ignore it for now, thank you :T:T

Triciaxx wrote: »

I've still got a long way to go on that.:eek: I'm not sure I'll ever get there.

Tricia! Well, it takes a while, thats for sure - I can accept gladly when people offer, rather than worriting, but asking ... not great :D

MrsMoo2U

I think that asking for help is one of my weak points. I will run myself into the ground (whilst grumbling that nobody is offering help) but would not dream of asking. I do try but not very well.

Triciaxx

MrsMoo2U wrote: »

I think that asking for help is one of my weak points. I will run myself into the ground (whilst grumbling that nobody is offering help) but would not dream of asking. I do try but not very well.

And I thought that it was just me. :rotfl: My poor DH needs to be a mind reader to know what to do to help. Perhaps it is more common than I realised - though I think that people who gravitate towards this sort of discussion are probably more alike than they realise, or would admit. :eek:

The other thing is the terribly British way of asking. "Would you mind?" "Could you see your way to . . ?" "Sorry but I'm finding it difficult to move this car off my foot, would you mind helping?"

I think we need to overcome this - especially when sandwiched between an "Umm" and an "Err", not to mention the sickly smile which garnishes the whole request. Once again, do as I say, not as I do.

Thought for the day : Do you suppose real gurus are actually just like us inside?

Pippilongstocking

Mrsm, just want give you a huge hug. Enormous one.

Heads burst with non-phd-phd-nonsense writing, so can't comment aside that.

Take care of yourself for you and mr c xx

niccatw

Thanks for the recipes Tricia. Yummy scrummy! There was a day garlic would have had me running off into the hills, but not any more. I'm a convert.

The book I read on self-management said the two most powerful words in the English language are "I need".... so instead of "Erm, excuse me, please, would you mind terribly helping move this car off my foot, if it's not too much trouble, thanks..." use "I need".

I aight have been more skeptical had I not emailed a rather important person work-wise who had been ignoring my emails annd voicemails saying "I need your guidance and support in this matter..."

I received an email the next mornig! (Albeit an apology for not being in touch and a promise to contact me next week... but it's a start!)

It's easier to do in written format though! I'm not sure I could have uttered the same sentence aloud!

MatyMoo

niccatw wrote: »

Thanks for the recipes Tricia. Yummy scrummy! There was a day garlic would have had me running off into the hills, but not any more. I'm a convert.

The book I read on self-management said the two most powerful words in the English language are "I need".... so instead of "Erm, excuse me, please, would you mind terribly helping move this car off my foot, if it's not too much trouble, thanks..." use "I need".

I aight have been more skeptical had I not emailed a rather important person work-wise who had been ignoring my emails annd voicemails saying "I need your guidance and support in this matter..."

I received an email the next mornig! (Albeit an apology for not being in touch and a promise to contact me next week... but it's a start!)

It's easier to do in written format though! I'm not sure I could have uttered the same sentence aloud!

That cauli thing is almost too pretty to eat Another garlic lover here and it is true that it wards off vampires, I haven't seen any :rotfl::rotfl:

We all love to be needed, I wonder if that is why using "I need" usually gets a response quicker than any other word or phrase. But aren't we strange things us humans, we all love to help others in times of need but can never ask for help for ourselves however hard we are finding life.

MrsMoo2U

Such an interesting discussion. Maty you are so right I love to feel needed but never think that others might feel that way. Strange isnt it. Nic, well done for asking even if it was in writing its a start.

Pippi, hugs back. Thesis nearly there so not much longer to have head full of that. Next thing your head needs to be full of is the storcupboard challenge. We are looking after each other. Thanks.

Tricia Nope, its not just you - I need to learn that Mr C is not a mind reader too. I think that part of the whole issue is (stupidly) wanting to be so important to somebody that they can mind read your needs and just do something for you. A bit of a romantic idea really considering that men and women are so different. Me and Mr C are quite different, he thinks very logically and I think from my heart (if you get what I mean). We make a good team from that point of view but it can be bloody annoying when he is being so logical and I just want tea and sympathy!

niccatw

Oh yes, I know that feeling! I have a few friends who do that (mind you, they'd probably say the same the other way round). I actually have to tell them that I'm not actually looking for solutions right now thanks, I just want a rant and some sympathy!

And I definitely have an issue with men and women being so different with my lodger right now. He did not clean a thing the entire time I was away and the flat is a bomb-site. In a grimy way! I don't like messy at the best of times but grimy is just unbearable. But I literally haven't been in any length of time to do much about it.

My friend pointed out he's a bloke and he just won't see the dirt. Ugh! I want to leave it to him to do, but I don't trust he'll do a thing.

And yes, I'm doing that British thing. There's no way I want to have a "don't you know what "cleaning" means?" conversation. But I don't think I have the will power to stand the mess! Boys! :mad:

MrsMoo2U

Ha! I am afraid that I cant identify with that Mr C is a bit obsessive re cleaning sometimes Good for me though because I dont notice when the cooker needs cleaning.

I just said exactly those words to Mr C tonight I said " I dont need a lecture about how logical things are. I just need some tea and sympathy and to be told its alright to be sorry for myself" His response? " Well if you want to wallow without looking for a solution - go ahead.............. by the way what about doing XYZ" Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

niccatw

:rotfl::rotfl: Sounds like you need a red card system for MrC MrsMoo. Hold it up just as he says "but" and you know the logical bit is to follow. :rotfl: