To new beginnings. To the pursuit of...somethingness.

MrsMoo2U

Triciaxx wrote: »

Sorry you feel bleurgh. Is some of it because you are in a transitional phase? You've bought your house in Austria and now everything is just the same. I'm pretty short on patience in circumstances like that. Have a (())

Thank you. I think this is the crux of the matter. I am very patient but I do want to move forward too. Stuck in a rut and events that happening around me make me a little impatient because it brings home how short life is.

Karmacat wrote: »

You do sound down at the moment, Mrs M.... I've realised I perhaps haven't been quite kind enough to myself recently, anything to do with that? If you've had to be the strong one since you were 17, maybe you need a step back .... Austria isn't overnight, its a long haul....

Hope at least the rest of the day is a good one ....

Thanks, yes, I think this is the thing. I always put others before me. I know that I do it but cant seem to help myself.

Have been for a long, long walk with Moo and Mr C today, we went up the mountain to the lakes. It is so quiet and peaceful up there. We walked and sat to watch the red kites soar. It helps.

Butti

MrsMoo2U wrote: »

Does anybody else ever get tired of having to be the strong one all of the time? Seems that is what I have been doing since the age of 17 when my parents split up and my Mum was rubbish with finances. I am sorry to say that (despite my usual anal attitude to spending) I am sorely tempted to wield a card and cheer myself up. BUT I know that isnt the answer as I know that I will only feel sick/worried/guilty as soon as I do that.

Hey ho........ there are people who are far worse off than me so the glums will pass soon enough. In the meantime I need to find something to do that gets me out of this CBA mood and perks me up.

Mrs Moo I think you need to look at the balance in your life and possibly come up with some fairly radical solutions. I is worried. Tim Cantopher wrote a book called 'Depression : The curse of the strong' (or something like that), about how strong people trudge on and on coping and then suddenly 'ping' straight into depression or a nervous breakdown.

Please try to address some of the tensions and lighten the load (easy to say I know but I don't want to see you go 'ping').

....and don't read Chat. Z has put about the most depressing economic report on there ever. Makes me want to go and find a bus!

B

MrsMoo2U

Thanks Butti. I dont tend to read chat so thats ok. I do understand the depression bit. Luckily I can usually spot me dipping (not always though) and I refuse to get that low. So in honour of that I took a long, long, long walk on top of the mountain today. Blew away as many Bleurghs as I could. Not all gone but a bit more balance.

I know that I am running on empty at the moment, so I am working on it. New meal plan done for September. Lots of vegetables and fruit on the menu. No scrimping on the food next month. Lots of reading (this is soul food for me). Cutting back on internet usage (drags me in and eats up all my time). So September is detox month in lots of ways. Just trying to work out some kind of exercise plan as the nights draw in. I am also trying to work out how to put work into balance.

By the way Me ....... the answer is yes. Heard from one which means a trip to Luton next week but not holding my breath.

niccatw

Does anybody else ever get tired of having to be the strong one all of the time?

It was my GP that told me - and has been telling me for the past two years - that it was time for me to start being selfish for the good of my health. And she didn't mean that as an excuse for me to go spend on my credit card.

She meant in taking time out. Butti is right about the Tim Cantopher book. Chapter 1 sums up my personality. And many of the personalities I see on here:

"He or she will have the following personality characteristics:

• (moral) strength
• reliability
• diligence
• strong conscience
• a strong sense of responsibility
• a tendency to focus on the need of others before one's own
• sensitivity
• vulnerability to criticism
• self-esteem dependent on the evaluation of others

This person is the sort to whom you would turn if you had a problem to sort upon which your house depended. She is a safe pair of hands and you can trust her with your life..."

I could go on. And I'd bet you'd be nodding your head at the descriptions.

Don't for a second think I'm saying you are depressed. But I am saying you need to get selfish because it stikes me that you have many of those personality traits (traits is a rubbish word, isn't it? Such negative connotations. If I change it to celebrations, is that too American? That's a rhetorical question; off course it's too American! :cool:) and, as Butti say, we don't want to see you go ping.

As you may be able to tell, I have the book. I only ever read chapters 1 and 5 (what is depressive illness and what to do when you get ill) but I found them very useful. I'll send the book to you if you like. I actually think it is information we all should know! Not just for ourselves but for when we need to help a friend who need our help.

Go dance and sing along at the top of your voice... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUBwjyhRweQ
I want to make a supersonnnnnnnnnnnnnnic mannnnnnnnnnnnnn out of you..... (I wonder what would happen if Freddy merged with Brahms. :rotfl: Guess what I'll be doing on You tube now...)

Triciaxx

Oops.
"He or she will have the following personality characteristics:
(moral) strength
reliability
diligence
strong conscience
a strong sense of responsibility
a tendency to focus on the need of others before one's own
sensitivity
vulnerability to criticism
self-esteem dependent on the evaluation of others."

I need to read that book.
Thanks Niccatw.

MrsMoo2U

Nic, somebody else recommended that book to me too (think it was YAHM). Yep, nodding head like the dog in the back of the car.

I promise you all I will not Ping if I can help it. I have been a bit selfish this last couple of weeks. I feel bad but there is a certain friend that I am avoiding speaking to as there are so many "problems" there that are always going to be there until some responsibility is taken. I am done with being the sounding board for now. It wears me down, I worry about too many people so I am now worrying about me for once.

I joined the library on Saturday. I know just a little thing but I have been meaning to do it for so long. Bit disappointed as it is a very small library. BUT I did get some very good books. Guess what I am doing on the 5 hour journey tomorrow

niccatw

I put this on my diary, but I think you'd like it here too.

Mind is the master power that molds and makes,
And we are Mind, and evermore we take
The tool of thought, and shaping what we will,
Bring forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills,
We think in secret, and it comes to pass -
Our world is but our looking glass.
-- James Allen

Tricia, when I first read that list, my jaw was almost hitting the ground! And at the time I think my self esteem was swept right under the carpet. Glad to say I lifted that carpet and beat the living day-lights out of it. It looks so much brighter now!

niccatw

MrsMoo2U wrote: »

BUT I did get some very good books. Guess what I am doing on the 5 hour journey tomorrow

Are you going to tap dance up and down the aisles of the train? :rotfl: I think you should!

MrsMoo2U

HA Nic, we keep missing each other........... just read that on your diary. Very good indeed. Please feel free to lecture me all you like. I think it is kinda nice to have "friends" that I can moan to who actually listen to me and support me. Now that sounds selfish but I have realised recently that in all of my life I have only ever had one friend (MR C) who has done that.

Pippilongstocking

:j

niccatw wrote: »

Are you going to tap dance up and down the aisles of the train? :rotfl: I think you should!

Seconded :rotfl:

Hugs angel, want to cheer you up dunno how.

Would the image of me standing on the upstairs windowsill one one leg, hanging out the window, hitting a sky dish with a pink flowery sweeping bush, trying to readjust the dish after the gales help?

It did work.....