Hubby hit me

ever_the_optimist_2

mummy29 ... so glad to see you back online

I think the advice about getting the Police round so you can get away or get space to change the locks is do-able ??

I would hate to think of you being subject to the same early morning call that you got this morning.

How are you feeling in terms of vulnerability ?

ETO xx

pinkpig08

I think you know what to do for the best - the hard part is actually doing it. You would be doing it for your kids - they don't deserve to live in a house where daddy is nasty and hurts mummy. Please phone Womens Aid or one of the numbers suggested to you. It will be hard at first, but worth it in the long run. Can you do it whilst he's at work?

southoftheriver

Besides the convenience of not having to move, what would be the advantage in staying? I understand you probably still love him and you entered this marriage for the right reasons, leaving feels like failure. It is very very hard to leave an abusive relationship. When something similar happened to me I fully intended to stay even though I had always thought of myself as a strong independent woman. You and your children deserve to live in a place where they're not scared of being hurt be that physically or emotionally. It is a scary thought to leave what you know so if you can't fathom that right now, at least talk to someone like women's aid. And keep talking to people here. We all want the best for you and for you and your children to be safe.

Sending you my best wishes.

Desperate_Housewife_2-2

Hi mummy29, I havent really got anything helpful to say except that I really hope you get sorted out and things work out for you and your kids ((hugs)) keep posting as there are lots of forum members who will be worried about you.

You need to get away from him asap but I understand it is hard if you have kids and no-one to turn to. Is there any way you could leave while he is out of the house or get the locks changed and pack his bags and leave them outside? If you go down this route you may want to think of putting some things together without him knowing such as id, passport, birth certificates etc in case you have to get out quick, also try and put some money away in an account he doesnt know about so you have some resources to fall back on.

Best of luck I really hope things work out for you x

Bennifred

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I agree that you need to get out but would suggest that your OH may have calmed down by now and be less of an immediate threat to yourself and the children. Keep him at a distance but maintain the peace for now.

A women's refuse is very far from a sanctuary, it will actually make living back with you OH feel like paradise. You're likely to be driven back when you remember your home comforts, especially when there are 4 children to consider. I would suggest that you use this time to think about what you want from the future, collect your evidence, and get your financial act together.

In your position I would contact the police tomorrow, serve an injunction and change all the locks on your property. Your OH is at fault so let the suffering be his. And don't think for one minute that it wont happen again if you don't take action.

Good luck

I think this is the best course of action. Be brave. The police are extremely experienced in dealing with domestic violence - long gone are the days of letting it go. Speaking to them cannot make things worse, and things won't get better until you take the first step to make them so. Do it for your children, if you can't do it for yourself. Please stay in touch when you can.

lostinrates

mummy29 wrote: »

i dont no what to do for the best

overwhelmingly and almost unprecedentedly MSE users have all agreed...get help and/or get out.

pupsicola

mummy29 wrote: »

hey,thank you everyone for your advice,kids all in bed,and iam in bed myself,husband is down stairs,im just sitting here trying to get my head straight
husband has been mentally abusing me for weeks,saying im a bad mum,kids hate me...etc and just putting me down
he knows i have no one to turn too,and iam sure this is why he thinks he can get away with it
this morning was out of the blue,and he was"nt even out of bed when he hit me,hes been staying up all most all of the night playing hes comp,then he wont get up in the morning,he does work but only part time
im sitting here,my heads a mess and i dont no what to do for the best

Please dont feel alone. You do have people to turn to. Anyone of us on here would help you. If you want the police called you only have to pm someone. Mental and physical abuse is so destructive and it is done partly for the abusers sick pleasure but also to weaken and undermine the victim. Please know that you are not alone. What I will say is that someone who is being abused is at most risk of attack when their abuser feels like they are loosing control. If you want the police called let us help you.

mummy29

I love my children dearly
Iam just so scared of leaveing with them
where i would go
if we was still in our old house,i would have made him go,i had my family there to surport me,here i have noone,not even a neighbour,our bank account is joint,wtc in hes name,all i have access to is £60 a week child benefit that goes in post office account
hes at work tomorrow

Keeping_Positive

There are agencys to help you. When he is at work tomorrow pack some bags and leave for social services. It will be hard to start but you and the kids will be better off for it. Just think a few weeks/months of hardship until you can settle again or months/years of being abused even mentally is not good enough let alone physically.

MrsE_2

mummy29 wrote: »

I love my children dearly
Iam just so scared of leaveing with them
where i would go
if we was still in our old house,i would have made him go,i had my family there to surport me,here i have noone,not even a neighbour,our bank account is joint,wtc in hes name,all i have access to is £60 a week child benefit that goes in post office account
hes at work tomorrow

I'm no expert but I should imagine it will be him that ends up homeless, not you.
You could ring the benefits at opening tomorrow.