"Your life is an occasion. Rise to it"

Triciaxx

Greying_Pilgrim wrote: »

Morning Karmacat! I've just realised where I've gone wrong in life! My walking boots pinch, I forgot to start any small, steady investments, but I am prepared to do lots of stuff cheaply!
Greying.

Wow! Enlightenment strikes! But one out of three is awesome. :rotfl::rotfl: Well done!

Karmacat

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Dear KC,

I've just caught up & sorry to hear that you're ailing & also worried about the next few months too :grouphug:.

Maybe now is the time to start preparing yourself for a bit of seasonal hibernation & it might put your mind at ease a bit to know that you have all the stocks you need.

I think it's perfectly acceptable to not stray far from home for a few days in the deep of winter & not do an awful lot. Thankfully these days we do have tv & internet so don't need to feel isolated as people probably did in the past.

Meeting up with DFW friends will happen when it's the right time & no one will blame you if you do not feel capable of managing a particular visit.

Sending strength vibes your way
xx

Thanks Lula!

ZTD wrote: »

Woah there! Let's examine the facts here for a minute. At an average walking speed of 3mph, how long would it take to walk 25 miles? About 8 hours 20 minutes. That's quite a long working day, and that's without a lunch break.
I know Z, my point is not that I want to walk 25 miles, its that she has the strength to, and I don't.

You are going to have to break this cycle of worrying about random events. You may, or may not, catch something this winter. Is worrying about it going to change that? Is it hell... You may or may not be as wiped out when you catch it. Is worrying about that going to change it? Is it hell...
Fair point. I try not to worry aimlessly tho, and I think I mostly achieve that.

I know there's once bitten, twice shy - but it has to be tempered or you'll become a recluse.
Well, exactly. Thats a real concern.

And you need to start pushing yourself somewhere else.
Working on it ....

Like balls is it. You take anyone who hasn't built themself up to it and give them an 8 hour plus day (remember to add lunchbreak, elvenses and tea breaks on top of that) and you'll wipe them out.
I meant the weekend I had planned when I go back to Merseyside - a trip out to a local cinema, a longish train journey the next day, and a short trip to see two friends the day after that. Perfectly normal activity. Which currently feels beyond me.

So build yourself up to it. Rome was not built in a day, and you won't be doing 9 hour days of either walking or bricklaying tomorrow. But there's nothing stopping you building up to it.

Nothing except fear. Fear of failure. Or more precisely, fear of being seen to fail.
No, your first description is more accurate, the fear of failure, not the fear of being seen to fail.

Try it. It might work or it might not. Some people can't handle that uncertainty and prefer to not try, and get comfort in the certainty of failure. I trust you're not one of them.

True. I don't *want* to be one of them, anyway.

Pippilongstocking

Just a big one of these (((((()))))) and a cuppa really - I hope you find your comfortable place.

Fear of failure is quite common, I've an attack of that myself at the moment - in lots of areas. I'm prone to self hibernation and excuses for tackling anything I might look daft at - out of my comfort zone.

I'm not making much sense - but if I lob over a gluten free brownie might that be just as good?

xxx

Karmacat

Yes please, Pippi, gluten free brownie very welcome the hug is too thanks xxx

MrsMoo2U

((((KC)))) there is another. And how about a nice chamomile tea to start the day off.

Today I am "afraid" I am going to miss a deadline - why? Because I have been procrastinating about something that I was afraid might not bee seen as good enough!

Oh well, birds of a feather and all that

Karmacat

Thanks MrsMoo - chamomile tea is amazing, isn't it - I don't like the taste, tbh, but its incredibly good at settling stomachs. And thank you for the hug too

Your post gave me a little peek underneath the surface of all this - fear, fear of fear, and denial of fear. I could certainly write a book about that.

Cheery_Daff

(((((((((kc))))))))))))))) pllleeeeeeaaaasssssseeeeee don't be feeling bad because you can't do what's considered to be a 'normal' level of activity! 6 hours on the train is exhausting. Visiting relatives is exhausting. A late night, if you're not used to it, is exhausting. Meeting up with people can be scary. There's plenty of folk who wouldn't want to do all that in a weekend - I might, but if I wasn't in the mood it would feel utterly overwhelming, and I'm plenty younger than you and fit and well. Create your own normal girl! (and look after yourself xxxx)

Is there something lower key and sociable you could do without feeling like you have to go out? (not that weekend, I mean in general)

Karmacat

Thank you Cheery! I guess I've finally hit my mid-life crisis - I should be glad its taken this long, I suppose. The weekend I'm describing, that used to be normal for me. For a while, it was even normal this summer. I suppose a lot of the feelings are about lowered levels of ability .... and I've no doubt now that there's also past issues tied up in this

I think I should try to stop talking about it on here, tho I may not be able to ... but I very much appreciate you posting.

ZTD

Karmacat wrote: »

I know Z, my point is not that I want to walk 25 miles, its that she has the strength to, and I don't.

So build up to it. People want to run 13 mile half marathons - do they suddenly go out and do it? No - they train.

I don't look in envy at Martin Mathathi - he has trained and I have not. Even if he was my bestest friend in the whole wide world, I'd still have to train.

He undoubtedly would look at me in envy and say "I wish I could drink beer like that." but he can't - for I have trained, and he hasn't... :cool:

Karmacat wrote: »

I meant the weekend I had planned when I go back to Merseyside - a trip out to a local cinema, a longish train journey the next day, and a short trip to see two friends the day after that. Perfectly normal activity. Which currently feels beyond me.

But that doesn't mean it is.

Karmacat

Underlying issues, Z, is all. But thank you!