"Your life is an occasion. Rise to it"

Karmacat

MrsMoo2U wrote: »

Have to disagree about Nike ruling (ethics not my cup of tea) but you rule. It is good to know what you need to do to find answers.

It was only an off-the-cuff thing, honest! What I meant is that, like the local course thats running tonight, I don't **need** the Mind/Body/Soul show. It would be fun to go, absolutely. But I know what I need to do - I need to listen to my inner self, and then **act** on it. Thats where the answers are.

You have other lovely pleasurable things to look forward to as well so the mind show thing was just a suggestion if you were around there.

And its a great suggestion :j:j:j:kisses3: please don't think I'm rejecting what you're saying - I'm quite scared about my lack of energy so early in the trek towards winter, thats whats actually going on. I suspect I won't make it to the Home Show either

Speaking of lovely things when is the Liverpool marathon now?

See, thats another thing thats got me worried. My diary reads as follows for that weekend, in October:

Friday evening: Russian ballet company performance of The Nutcracker, locally.
Saturday: train to Merseyside (6 hours door to door).
Sunday: meet Gill and DT, at minimum, at the Liverpool Marathon.

I'm scared stiff of that, I really am :(:(

I think I need to write some more on that.

MrsMoo2U

:grouphug:

KC, I can tell from your answers that you are feeling quite delicate right now. Absolutely no need to explain yourself to me (Nike was a bit of a joke on my part and I was trying to say you were much better - didnt come across)

Be kind to yourself. Decide what it is that will bring you joy and happiness. If the Russian Ballet is more important right now and the marathon is too much to cope with then do that. You can always arrange to meet Gill and DT another weekend. Work out what it is that is scaring you by the writing and you will be doing fine.

As an aside observation (and I mean this with love so I hope that I dont offend). Could you be feeling worried about the illness because it has happened so often before and by worrying you are making yourself worse? I am not meaning that the pain is not there but I wonder if you are focusing on the pain more at the moment than previously because you are aware that it gets worse in the winter. You have said over the summer that you have had pain but you seemed to have been coping and overriding it with joyous walks and local adventures.

Fear is the biggest thing to deal with in our lives and I often find that it can completely cripple me at times. Love the idea of writing it all down.

Karmacat

You're spot on. About everything. And that does the exact opposite of offending me thank you I'd better not write any more on here about it

Ellidee

What a lovely post (as usual) Mrs Moo. KC I have been away and haven't caught up properly but just want to echo Mrs M and say please be kind to yourself. Sending loads of positive vibes and a BIG hug xx

Pippilongstocking

Hey up

have a great weekend - and often easier to be nicer to other folk than you - we all do that.

Computer games v lugging stones around the garden made me giggle, then sneeze!

Have fun meeting up with those lovely two

gilligansyle

Karmacat wrote: »

See, thats another thing thats got me worried. My diary reads as follows for that weekend, in October:

Friday evening: Russian ballet company performance of The Nutcracker, locally.
Saturday: train to Merseyside (6 hours door to door).
Sunday: meet Gill and DT, at minimum, at the Liverpool Marathon.

I'm scared stiff of that, I really am :(:(

MrsMoo2U wrote: »

:grouphug:



Be kind to yourself. Decide what it is that will bring you joy and happiness. If the Russian Ballet is more important right now and the marathon is too much to cope with then do that. You can always arrange to meet Gill and DT another weekend. Work out what it is that is scaring you by the writing and you will be doing fine.

As an aside observation (and I mean this with love so I hope that I dont offend). Could you be feeling worried about the illness because it has happened so often before and by worrying you are making yourself worse? I am not meaning that the pain is not there but I wonder if you are focusing on the pain more at the moment than previously because you are aware that it gets worse in the winter. You have said over the summer that you have had pain but you seemed to have been coping and overriding it with joyous walks and local adventures.

Fear is the biggest thing to deal with in our lives and I often find that it can completely cripple me at times. Love the idea of writing it all down.

Wise words as usual from MrsMoo.

Please please don't get stressed about your visit up north. The main point is to see your Mum, and you need to decide what else you can or want to fit in. And if you don't make it, you don't make it.

Please look after yourself, healthwise you've been stronger lately, and you don't want to set yourself back.

I'll pass the soapbox back now.

Karmacat

Cheery_Daff wrote: »

KC, you know better than to judge yourself by what other people are doing.... xxxx

Cheery, sorry, I've only just seen this one I'm not judging exactly, its more thinking, ooh, I'd like to do something like that (more like 10 miles, not 25) - but I *can't*, tahts the point. I don't feel like I have the ability to do that - I'm in my present state now, of lack of physical energy, because I was working maximum 2 hours a day for a month. Thats all.

MrsMoo2U wrote: »

:grouphug:

As an aside observation (and I mean this with love so I hope that I dont offend). Could you be feeling worried about the illness because it has happened so often before and by worrying you are making yourself worse? I am not meaning that the pain is not there but I wonder if you are focusing on the pain more at the moment than previously because you are aware that it gets worse in the winter. You have said over the summer that you have had pain but you seemed to have been coping and overriding it with joyous walks and local adventures.

I've been thinking about this again, and it *is* partly that, but its partly that the pain is worse. If the neck of my T shirt runs across the swelling, it hurts. At Monday night meditation, after an hour of work in the garden, I was in agony, it felt like my arm was broken, tbh. That said, the fear of what the winter might hold is very, very strong.

Fear is the biggest thing to deal with in our lives and I often find that it can completely cripple me at times. Love the idea of writing it all down.

Thats certainly where I am right now. And often have been ....

gilligansyle wrote: »

Please please don't get stressed about your visit up north. The main point is to see your Mum, and you need to decide what else you can or want to fit in. And if you don't make it, you don't make it.

Please look after yourself, healthwise you've been stronger lately, and you don't want to set yourself back.

I'll pass the soapbox back now.

Oh Gill :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: thank you. This is what I meant when describing how my partner's wife did that long walk - that weekend is quite a normal amount of stuff for a healthy person to do, certainly a level of activity I've been doing even this summer. But at the moment its way, way beyond me, and I feel bad about that - partly for other people, but for myself too - I don't **want** to just sit about in my living room mucking about with the computer or reading for 6 days out of 7. I want to be out 3 or 4 times a week, for pleasure, as well as banking and supermarkets.

I want to go the marathon on the Sunday, and meet mse'rs ... and I doubt I'll have the energy, unless something changes massively in the next two weeks.

Lula-Hula

Dear KC,

I've just caught up & sorry to hear that you're ailing & also worried about the next few months too :grouphug:.

Maybe now is the time to start preparing yourself for a bit of seasonal hibernation & it might put your mind at ease a bit to know that you have all the stocks you need.

I think it's perfectly acceptable to not stray far from home for a few days in the deep of winter & not do an awful lot. Thankfully these days we do have tv & internet so don't need to feel isolated as people probably did in the past.

Meeting up with DFW friends will happen when it's the right time & no one will blame you if you do not feel capable of managing a particular visit.

Sending strength vibes your way
xx

ZTD

Karmacat wrote: »

Cheery, sorry, I've only just seen this one I'm not judging exactly, its more thinking, ooh, I'd like to do something like that (more like 10 miles, not 25) - but I *can't*, tahts the point. I don't feel like I have the ability to do that -

Woah there! Let's examine the facts here for a minute. At an average walking speed of 3mph, how long would it take to walk 25 miles? About 8 hours 20 minutes. That's quite a long working day, and that's without a lunch break.

Karmacat wrote: »

I'm in my present state now, of lack of physical energy, because I was working maximum 2 hours a day for a month. Thats all.

Are you? Are you *really* sure? Now tell me how many times you're been really sure and still wrong.

Karmacat wrote: »

That said, the fear of what the winter might hold is very, very strong.

You are going to have to break this cycle of worrying about random events. You may, or may not, catch something this winter. Is worrying about it going to change that? Is it hell... You may or may not be as wiped out when you catch it. Is worrying about that going to change it? Is it hell...

I know there's once bitten, twice shy - but it has to be tempered or you'll become a recluse.

Karmacat wrote: »

Thats certainly where I am right now. And often have been ....

And you need to start pushing yourself somewhere else.

Karmacat wrote: »

Oh Gill :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: thank you. This is what I meant when describing how my partner's wife did that long walk - that weekend is quite a normal amount of stuff for a healthy person to do,

Like balls is it. You take anyone who hasn't built themself up to it and give them an 8 hour plus day (remember to add lunchbreak, elvenses and tea breaks on top of that) and you'll wipe them out.

Pluck any average bloke off the street, and pick a reasonable level of activity - let's say brick laying - and then give them an 9 hour day of brick laying (let's be generous and let them eat and drink). Unless they're a bricky, you're going to be picking them up off the ground with a spatula at the end of that.

Karmacat wrote: »

certainly a level of activity I've been doing even this summer. But at the moment its way, way beyond me, and I feel bad about that - partly for other people, but for myself too - I don't **want** to just sit about in my living room mucking about with the computer or reading for 6 days out of 7. I want to be out 3 or 4 times a week, for pleasure, as well as banking and supermarkets.

So build yourself up to it. Rome was not built in a day, and you won't be doing 9 hour days of either walking or bricklaying tomorrow. But there's nothing stopping you building up to it.

Nothing except fear. Fear of failure. Or more precisely, fear of being seen to fail.

Karmacat wrote: »

I want to go the marathon on the Sunday, and meet mse'rs ... and I doubt I'll have the energy, unless something changes massively in the next two weeks.

Try it. It might work or it might not. Some people can't handle that uncertainty and prefer to not try, and get comfort in the certainty of failure. I trust you're not one of them.

gilligansyle

KC - we are only talking about meeting up you know -- we're not actually going to be running the marathon.

Just in case there was any confusion...