Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

floss2

Mooloo, think of the positives in DS moving on - you could leave all your sewing stuff out in your new craft room, and DGD won't be able to "help" while your back is turned!

Sounds like you had a lovely restful break recharging your batteries.

Love,
Floss x

Savvy_sewing

floss2 wrote: »

Mooloo, think of the positives in DS moving on - you could leave all your sewing stuff out in your new craft room, and DGD won't be able to "help" while your back is turned!

Sounds like you had a lovely restful break recharging your batteries.

Love,
Floss x

Yes this is the way I am trying to think. Worried about the huge difference in the income, and it will mean the family will have to fend forthemselves much, much more.!

DGD has gone up to her room to watch a video. Wonder if she may fall asleep. She looks very tired.
I am tired too.
Hoping to fit a quick bath in before my BF comes over. Seems ages since I saw him, although it was only last Friday afternoon for a couple of hours.

The holiday was lovely.
Came back to the DLA refusing me again.. But then I expected it. Nothing is going to be easy in this life. I will apply again next time I can or if I get worse again.

lavidaloca

I know you are tired and fed up with all the benefits side of things but you MUST find one last drop of energy and appeal against this DLA decision. When they do this to people they are hoping they will give up without a fight. Pm me if you want me to help.

Pleased you all (incl M and children) enjoyed your break and sorry your son is playing up again and spoilt your last day.

Savvy_sewing

I already asked them to re look at the claim, months ago. So this is the reply. I will ahve a chat with the new doctors and see what they think I should do. But I am not sure I have the fight at the moment. We will see. Lots going to be going on with the twins cases.
Right I am hoping DGD will fall asleep and I am tempting fate but I am going to run a bath for me.!

candygirl

Glad you had a fab hols hun, where did you go?:D:D

tired_mum

Mooloo not sure how this works but is it the right thing for DD to see the boys it will be vey confusing for them and i know when my cousin was adopting older children she gave up in the end as the 3 children were supposed to be seeing their extended family for the rest of time and they felt that they would be played as the kids got older and they would never be truely their parents so those poor little kids went back into the system i feel the letterbox system is a good idea as there is no upset for Dtwin when she sees them and has to leave them again and she can still let them know that she and you all love them but circumstances were against you all
Glad you had a good holiday sounds like you all had a ball and managed to get away from the stress for a bit

Savvy_sewing

I dont know what is best. Who can? We are all different. It is natural that my daughter doesnt want to loose contact with her children. She wants to keep her children and has faught the system as hard as she can. Unfortuanetly there is no support outside of the system, and the society that we are in has let us down. There is no support, and only !!!!!ing. Once someone gets their claws into you, there is no hope left. Its a futile and hurtful process.
I am bitter about it, and I will be for a while.
If I ever have any money, I would be setting up a home for girls like my daughter. Where they can have 24 hour support to keep thier children with them.
Or supply them with 24 hour help to keep the family together.
The cost may be prohibitive but what did it cost them to take it all to court? What did the system have to pay to say no to my daughter.?
How much did it cost to confirm that she has learning difficulties.? All that money would easily have paid for the help she needed, and I am angry. I am so very angry that I cannot help. I am gutted at the outcome.

tired_mum

I dont think there is a right answer to this unfortunatly and what is worrying is that lessons will only be learned by mistakes but at someones cost
Hopefully the court will do the right thing based on the evidence they have
I hope the boys are lucky enough to find adoptive parents as good as mine were
hugs and posotive thoughts to you all

gizmo111

Mooloo wrote: »

I dont know what is best. Who can? We are all different. It is natural that my daughter doesnt want to loose contact with her children. She wants to keep her children and has faught the system as hard as she can. Unfortuanetly there is no support outside of the system, and the society that we are in has let us down. There is no support, and only !!!!!ing. Once someone gets their claws into you, there is no hope left. Its a futile and hurtful process.
I am bitter about it, and I will be for a while.
If I ever have any money, I would be setting up a home for girls like my daughter. Where they can have 24 hour support to keep thier children with them.
Or supply them with 24 hour help to keep the family together.
The cost may be prohibitive but what did it cost them to take it all to court? What did the system have to pay to say no to my daughter.?
How much did it cost to confirm that she has learning difficulties.? All that money would easily have paid for the help she needed, and I am angry. I am so very angry that I cannot help. I am gutted at the outcome.

Average court case £50K incl psyc reports
Average cost of keeping child in foster care £35k per year
Long term cost of adoption - zero - no allowances etc to adopters except in exceptionally dificult to place children, and if anyone watched last week a home for maise on bbc2 they will see that adopters don't get an easy time of it.

Average cost of specialist unit for parents wih LD - £12K per month, plus the added emotional harm it does to the children and parents which is immeasureable, no young parent wants to be monitored 24/7 and will quickly crave independence that they cannot have to meet their childrens needs, this type of support just isn't sustainable over many years.

Its hard Mooloo and the toughest times are coming.
Glad the holiday was good

Take Care.

Savvy_sewing

Sorry Gizmo, I realise that its all down to money. I do not think that the twins need 24/7 supervision. What they need is help to do the housework around the children. They will happpily play with the kids, (especially twin2), and then the mess surrounds them. A daily for an hour or so a day would be more cost effective. Possibly an aupair? to help with the children.
Anyway its irrelevant, we will not have the luxury.
Its down to money.
It should be down to human rights! Anyway, I will get off my grudge. Its not in my control anymore.
Maybe thats why I am so angry. Becuase I cannot do a d a m think about it.

I am not sure whats on the agenda today. I did say I would help Twin2 to go and sign on, as she had to use her bus fare to go to the court on Friday.
I would like to sort out the rest of the week on a calm and more uplifting mode.
(otherwise I will have wasted my relaxing holiday!).
I have several sewing jobs to tackle, and several creative ideas I want to work on.
I have just done my Asda shop on line. Didnt have a list beside me. (fatal) so I based it on my order a few months back, and then I reduced it by some of the things I just know I have in my cupboards. With 3 eastereggs added to the basket I am pleased that it came in at £50.18 so I also got a free delivery as they had sent me the coupon as I hadnt shopped with them for a while.
I just remembered I forgot to add the washingup liquid and soap powder! grrr. I suppose I can pick them up today somewhere on my travels.

Time to move.