Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

SDG31000

That is great news Mooloo, I'm glad that Direct Line saw sense at last

Savvy_sewing

minimoneysaver wrote: »

Mooloo I do envy you. I wish I could learn to organise my thoughts and feelings enough to write them down. Most of the time I don't know how I feel about something until it is too late and then it has all got on top of me. Maybe I should have a go?

I used to, well still do, write a journal of my feelings. I just started using the back of an accounts book, back in 1992 when I first found out I was expecting my 4th child. DS. I was in a rocky marriage and was lost. From there I have always written Journals or diaries as I was calling them then.
There are note books all over the place, under my bed, in drawers and cupboards. Sometimes I revisit them and see that I have moved foreward, and sometimes that I am no further on! But they are there. From there it became easier to put my thoughts into words.
As I can type quite fast then my thoughts just sort of flow through my fingers. So i write it as I see it at the time. (So on here what you see is exactly how I am at the time, no holds barred really).
As this is pretty annonymous, (Well it was to start with, but i have now made several friends from here), I found that I could put down my feelings, ask questions and get replies, and then the thread just sort of went from there.
My initial thread was indeed asking about how to get funds to support the mums and the babies living with me, in 2008. I think I was asking questions for about 4 or 5 months on Hypno's thread, and a few others, before I branched out on this one.
I find that this is my LIFE LINE. Without being able to communicate I would be very lonely indeed. I have made friends here, and have been helped and encouraged, and feel stronger, happier and more focused on the better side of things, then I did before.
I have made friends, like Molly, that I have been priveledged enough to actually meet too.
We have become firm friends and are even going to have a holiday together. Something I had never dreamt would happen.

so if you want to have the same sort of help, encouragement etc, then just start writing. If you want any of us here, to listen, we will. (or read). You must remember that you are not alone if your on MSE!
Hugs
Mooloo:D

Savvy_sewing

SDG31000 wrote: »

That is great news Mooloo, I'm glad that Direct Line saw sense at last

While I was with Biggest of Mooloo, she felt that her horrible start to the year had changed, and that the nightmare will soon be over. I think that she will be much happier now. That the year is a better one. Now that she has a home to live in of her own as well, things are looking up.
I have made a cover for her moses basket this week. I will upload a picture later. Got to put it on Photobucket first. Keep forgettting that.

minimoneysaver

Mooloo I remember your first thread... have I really been here for that long too?!

Savvy_sewing

minimoneysaver wrote: »

Mooloo I remember your first thread... have I really been here for that long too?!

You must have been. This is now my 3rd thread. Time flys when your having fun! (even when your not it seems to get faster).
Am in Oxford at my BF's, just came on to check my ebay really. As one of the bags is on a buy it now, Imust check it every day.
I am hoping to have some more bags ready to put on at the beginning of next week. But have been doing the moses basket for Biggest of Mooloo's baby. So I cannot do everything.
Molly is pleased with her walking stick bag. I quite like mine. A few improvements for the next ones though.
Yesterday I made a different type of handbag. A "saddle bag". With a wadding lining, and a character lining. I used the last piece of the striped fabric from the "Westie" bag. I am reasonably pleased with it. It just needs ironing, a fastener, and maybe some more topstich detail. I am not sure. But I think that I will perfect that and that can also be a type of bag I think will attract some interest.
Right I am off now. Catch up tomorrow when I get home.
Hugs to those who need them. x

Savvy_sewing

Morning, Just,
I am back home. Came back around 11am.
I was back earlier then expected as BF was a bit preoccuppied over something, and DGD wanted to come home anyway.
DS has been missing college, and there was a letter waiting for me on my return. So that has lowered my mood even further.
I have talked to both of the twins, and that also has concerned me. Twin2 seems to be back in the company of the father of DGS2? He seems to have given her a lot of money, and twin1 is disgruntled that she wont lend her any money.
It seems that dispite the amount of Money I have been helping her with, she is still running out of electric and food.! I am suspiscious of where the money may be going. Cigarettes I think!.
With DS hardly coming home I am worried about the funds I have coming in. They will soon be changed all over again.
He is apparantly still talking about moving in with Twin2.That may solve her housing problems (If she is not stupid enough to go back to DGS2's father!). but it brings me lots of headaches, at least until the Guardianship of DGD is sorted out.
I am worried.
I am trying not to be down hearted but its not so easy.

DGD is playing in her room. So I will have boxes of toys to sort out. But its good that she is learning to play on her own and not expect Granny to do everything with her.

Time for me to move on, to chear myself up, and get motivated again.
My bags are selling, and I can use this afternoon to design a few more perhaps, along with the other ideas I have been given.

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo I don't mean to sound harsh but if you stopped giving hand outs to any of the children then you and DGD could manage with the money you have coming in surely? its a no brainer, no?

And of course Twin 1 will be spending money on cigarettes or whatever because mum pays for the electric and food when shes spent all hers on what she chooses...even though I know its difficult with her learning difficulties she can still learn as children do if they have some harsh lessons and one life line (ie mums free bank) is cut off?

peppa-pig

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Mooloo I don't mean to sound harsh but if you stopped giving hand outs to any of the children then you and DGD could manage with the money you have coming in surely? its a no brainer, no?

yes it is a no brainer, but sadly not always that easy or cut and dry. its very hard to say no to your chilldren when they ask for your help.

Keeping_Motivated

peppa-pig wrote: »

yes it is a no brainer, but sadly not always that easy or cut and dry. its very hard to say no to your chilldren when they ask for your help.

Oh I completely agree I have done it myself and Mooloo has been doing it for years however when you get to the point where you are bringing up your DGD and your health is deteriorating, depression is being fought off etc etc and you are terrified about money that something has to give and Mooloo is freely admitting that Twin1 is buying stupid things with her money while Mooloo bails continuously so its come to the point where it no just hard to say no its having no choice but to say no for everyones sake.. Twin1 is not being helped in the long run as she stays in the same cycle and where will DGD be if Mooloo cracks and cannot cope anymore due to financail hardship but the last straw in a very long line of things that are weighing her down?

Savvy_sewing

I will bounce back! But you are right, I have to withdraw my help! I kept hoping that it would be reduced at a rate that was sensible but didnt lead to complete hardship. However it seems that I am still too nieve with my family.
I will be stronger this coming week. I promise.
DS has a standing order tomorrow, then I will definitely cancel it.
I will tell him that its the last payout. I will also tell him he has to look for work properly and not just the few events at the racecourse.
Twin1 has already been told money has run out, and that I cannot keep it up.
Twin2 doesnt seem to need money at the moment. So she will be told what she has is all she can expect to have, and that the bank of Mum has closed.
Actually for that Matter Biggest of Mooloo too, as she has had substantial amounts of money from me over time too.
Although she used it for deposits on her home and her car.
However DGD and I are living on the minimum becuasse of them. Its just not fair anymore, and no longer funny. Thier father doesnt pitch in to help them. Not that he ever has really.

Right I am tired, stressed and had enough tea to sink a battle ship.
I wish DGD was as tired, so we could get an hours sleep!
I didnt sleep very well last night at all.
If I can get a rest, then I will be able to start the sewing I want to do.