Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

thorsoak

Sad news, Mooloo - just wish it could have been different for you all.

But you will be able to let the boys know that they were surrounded by love in their baby days, that it isn't that they weren't wanted, just that it wasn't possible to keep them together. They've always known love, and that will go a long, long way with them.

{{hugs}} to you all - and Mooloo - don't you dare feel guilty that you cannot keep them all - it just would not be possible for you to cope. Of course the twins would promise to help - but you know how much Twin 1 falls down on her promises - they would promise things that they cannot do.

Thinking of you all tonight. x

Savvy_sewing

thorsoak wrote: »

Sad news, Mooloo - just wish it could have been different for you all.

But you will be able to let the boys know that they were surrounded by love in their baby days, that it isn't that they weren't wanted, just that it wasn't possible to keep them together. They've always known love, and that will go a long, long way with them.

{{hugs}} to you all - and Mooloo - don't you dare feel guilty that you cannot keep them all - it just would not be possible for you to cope. Of course the twins would promise to help - but you know how much Twin 1 falls down on her promises - they would promise things that they cannot do.

Thinking of you all tonight. x

Thanks, thanks all of you, I am trying to look on the positive side, and I know that your right, I couldnt do it, and they would let me down.
I will try to explain to the boys, if they come looking for me later in life, what and why. But I cannot think of it today, or tomorrow, as I will not function, and seeing them tomorrow, I need to be Happy Granny!.

SingleSue

Oh Mooloo, what horrendous news, I really cannot imagine how you or your daughter is feeling right now....I would be heartbroken and feeling like my life would be over if my boys were ever taken away.

Don't you ever feel guilty (I know you will, it is human nature) about your inability to have the boys as well as your grand daughter, it would be far too much for you to cope with, financially, physically and emotionally but I can see where the guilt is coming from.

Re parents - aren't they great? My parents have just bought me a new laptop as my desk top went bang a week and a half ago....although part of me thinks they did it for a quiet life as it meant I wouldn't be turning up at the doorstep all the time to use theirs!

Savvy_sewing

Oh, Sue I just read your signature bit. I am so sorry to read this. I hope that it is only mild in you all, and that you get the best help you can with the boys. Obviously the joint pain that we have (Shaz has same as me) is very different from that of Ehlers Danlos, but pain is pain at the end of the day, and very debilitating when the medications dont get it right!

My family will battle through, but as for how Twin2 will cope I do not know. The report results suggest she is "watched" and helped through the court cases. So I think that they fear her doing something silly. They already have hilighted the fact that the father of DGS1 may have suicidal tendancies, to add to his cannibis smoking, and alcohol abuse! What joy.
I hope that Twin2's BF will stay strong with her, and get her through this, but I fear that it may be a tall order, as he was a child removed from his mum for about 4 years of his life. At least he was returned though. These days the social take them away and have them adopted. So no chance of a return at an older age for our family. For which I feel very bitter.
(I know it may be best for the boys, but its not for me!).

Cannot dwell, getting emotional and I cannot afford to. See the boys tomorrow, for that precious hour a fortnight.

On the good side, I have achieved a lot today, and although my back is now hitting stratusferic heights on the pain level front, I have started to make inroads to the mountains of boxes in my bedroom, and have cut out a baby dress for Biggest of Mooloo's baby.
I shall sleep well once the medication kicks in thats for sure.

MatyMoo

I hope Happy Granny has a lovely visit tomorrow

thorsoak

Enjoy tomorrow for the day x

gizmo111

Mooloo wrote: »

My family will battle through, but as for how Twin2 will cope I do not know. The report results suggest she is "watched" and helped through the court cases. So I think that they fear her doing something silly. They already have hilighted the fact that the father of DGS1 may have suicidal tendancies, to add to his cannibis smoking, and alcohol abuse! What joy.

Has she got a support worker where she lives? Most of the support groups are interested in stopping the children being adopted and don't focus on the inevitable, very often giving the family false hope. I would suggest that she talks to her GP about some counselling now in preparation for the grief counselling that she will need. Also this is a time when young women tend to fall pregnant in an effort to replace their loss, but the reality is they end up losing another child, so please keep an eye on this and make sure she is aware.

I hope that Twin2's BF will stay strong with her, and get her through this, but I fear that it may be a tall order, as he was a child removed from his mum for about 4 years of his life. At least he was returned though. These days the social take them away and have them adopted. So no chance of a return at an older age for our family. For which I feel very bitter.
(I know it may be best for the boys, but its not for me!).

Cannot dwell, getting emotional and I cannot afford to. See the boys tomorrow, for that precious hour a fortnight.

Please reconsider talking to the guardian and social worker about having unsupervised contact with you and the family at home - these last bittersweet months will form lifelong memories for you, the boys and their mum.

The next few months will be the hardest you'll ever have to face, and then some more after as your children (not just twin2) come to terms with the loss.

You know where I am if you need me
Take Care xx

SingleSue

Mooloo wrote: »

Oh, Sue I just read your signature bit. I am so sorry to read this. I hope that it is only mild in you all, and that you get the best help you can with the boys. Obviously the joint pain that we have (Shaz has same as me) is very different from that of Ehlers Danlos, but pain is pain at the end of the day, and very debilitating when the medications dont get it right!

Aww thanks...sadly, I am already reliant on crutches to get around. My own fault really, I pushed my body too far and ignored all the danger signs when I was young.

My painkillers are ok at the moment, obviously there are days when they don't touch the pain but on the whole, they do the trick.

stressed.mum

Sorry to hear the report didn't go in your dd's favour, is the nothing more that can be done to arrange some sort of staged return?

Sending you and yours big hugs

stressed xxx

gizmo111

stressed.mum wrote: »

Sorry to hear the report didn't go in your dd's favour, is the nothing more that can be done to arrange some sort of staged return?

Sending you and yours big hugs

stressed xxx

Unlikely now, that stage has passed. At a contested hearing a court may rule against adoption but they very rarely go against the expert pyschology report, particurlary if the guardian is in agreement.

This looks useful Mooloo http://www.afteradoption.org.uk/page.asp?section=0001000100010003
Manchester based but may have national info.