Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

Savvy_sewing

Think I will use this morning to look at the Nonny Mouse site!
DG had us up at 7am this morning.
BF's birthday, and I am hoping the post arrives today as there are a couple of extra bits and pieces that I ordered for him.
Going to Oxford this afternoon.
Have a good weekend one and all,
Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

Well I am back home, and launching into the day.
Had a good day with BF.
The post didnt come, so luckily I had bought other things on the friday. I was upset that none of his children bought him a present.!
Although he didnt show that he was worried. (I get upset when my children miss my birthday, or christmas). We went out to ASK for a meal. I was pleased that the two of his brood that came with us, actually included me in the conversations and asked me questions too. I can honestly say that in the 7 years I have known them, that this was the first time that I felt comfortable in thier presence, and enjoyed my evening. I hope that the future continues in the same vane. Perhaps we have a breakthrough, and I am finally accepted as Dads partner, and not a threat.
The meal was quite good, but as we had gone for the voucher/set menu, we were disappointed that they didnt have all the choices of starters, and by the time we finished our meals they didnt have any of the puddings, not only on the set menu, but from the main menu either! Except icecream. So in the end we didnt bother, and finished our drinks and left, to have a drink in the pub next door.
We were in the pub for a while, standing at the bar. I am not used to standing still, for so long, and my oh my my back ached yesterday!
But we still had a very good evening, and BF was happy.
We had a lovely lie in, with no DGD to wake us, till 7.30, then BF had to take his daughter to work. But he came back to bed with a cuppa for me, so that was lovely. We even had a cooked breakfast/early lunch, and then I came home just before 1pm, as he took his son back to Cambridge where he is at the moment.
I collected DGD early and we both came home,.Where she promptly fell asleep on the sofa! And I watched some TV and read my book for a while.

DS is supposed to be coming home today? But then he has been saying that for over a week. I havent seen him properly for about 2 weeks.
I only saw him for 5 minutes on his birthday last week.

I watched Larkrise to candleford and then went to bed.

So now its time to get organised and launch myself into the day. Twin1 wants me to take her to town to sign on. I am not thrilled, as I will need to put petrol in the car to do that, and my morning at home catching up on washing etc etc will be disrupted. I shall have to warn her that when she gets paid she must keep the bus fare back for signing on in future.
DGD is still asleep, but then she had a late sleep in the afternoon, and was still awake at 9pm, although in her bed quitely playing.
Right better get on.

Savvy_sewing

Been a hectic morning. Books for DGD have arrived.
DS is home.
Will update later, DGD pestering now.

Savvy_sewing

I am a bit down at the moment. Don't really know why. The gloom of winter, and yesterday perhaps it was the monday blues! Except its continued today.
Taking Twin1 to sign on, was too much for me. The walking has knocked me for six today. I am struggling to move, and I had a terrible night.

DS has gone to college, thank goodness. lets hope he continues now!
Briefly saw twin2 and her partner yesterday, as we were dropping twin1 home, and collected DS. He had stopped at his sisters the night before.
It was my DGS2's 1st birthday yesterday. I will see him on Thursday. God willing.
Twin2's BF is enjoying his new job. I hope they will be able to sort out the money side of things.
DGD is in her new Nursery today, until 3pm. She went off quite happily this morning.

Biggest of Mooloo has seen a house they can afford to rent, and she has put in for the references. Fingers crossed that they can be settled before the baby is born.

Briefly got to see Molly yesterday. She seems to be a little better then of late. She had to go to the doctors across the road. Which reminds me, I must do my paperwork and register there. I collected the forms but thats as far as i have got!

Paperwork is now ammassing and getting in my way! So I will have to spend the rest of the afteroon tackling that as some ofit, is urgent, some late, and some frustrating.

This morning it was the SW from the fostering team going through my life, (again), and my emotions run quite high at times.
I am still awaiting the money.!
She was here for 2 hours But has leant me some books for DGD to work with as well. She is trying to be helpful. Is going to continue to see me once a fortnight untl the gurdianship is done, or her placement is finished.

Molly41

Hugs to you my friend and Happy Birthday to DGS2 for yesterday. Its not surprising you are feeling low xx

Fingers crossed for Biggest of Mooloo's xx

Thrifty_Sister

Keep your spirits up Mooloo - evry task dealt with gets you that little bit nearer your goal.
Life is soooo difficult sometimes and these things are sent to try us.

MatyMoo

Sorry you have got the January Blues Mooloo I had thought that once you were settled in your new home and warm and cozy it would make a difference.

But I confess that the grey days and dark nights get to me too though so I hope it is just that.

Mind you, with all you have on your plate each & every day you have every right to feel blue!

Savvy_sewing

MatyMoo wrote: »

Sorry you have got the January Blues Mooloo I had thought that once you were settled in your new home and warm and cozy it would make a difference.

But I confess that the grey days and dark nights get to me too though so I hope it is just that.

Mind you, with all you have on your plate each & every day you have every right to feel blue!

I am running late. DGD is testing us to the limits. I confess to being very tearful, and depressed today. But I will brighten eventually.
Had a 2 hour session with the SW yesterday, and it was very emotional. Going over old life etc etc.

DS went to College again today. I took him to the bus as he overslept.

Taking twin1 back to her house after we drop DGD at nursery.

Got to go, DGD has just torn her library book:o

Savvy_sewing

Tax returns finally managed to do on line.
PAYE for homehelp paid on line. So all debts etc sorted, (except for the fuel bills! ) But that will wait till tomorrow now.
The sun is out, and that has lifted my mood somewhat. Have done the washing. Bought the spike to put the rotary airer in.
So will get DS to do it later.

Savvy_sewing

Morning, feeling pretty jaded still. Sleep pattern is really not good at the moment.
DS was up far too late considering he has college this morning. I had to tell him to go to bed somewhere around 1am! He did manage to get up and out the door by 6.45 so I am hoping he has managed to get the bus OK.
I am not expecting him to be around much over the weekend, as is his usual, but he wont be staying at the flat he was often at, as the girl is here in the town at her Mums for a week or two? (She called around here at tea time with DS's keys!).
DGD was quite happy at Nursery again, bless her she saw me through the patio doors, Shouted "Granny" and ran straight into the glass!! Bless her that was not what she was expecting.
I tried to put the rotary spike into the ground, but I was just not strong enough, and had to abandon it.
It was too dark for DS to do it last night, I must get the light outside fixed. It never has worked since we moved in.

Today we get to see the boys, so I can take DGS2 his presents. His father text me the other night, asking when the next court case is, as his mother has thrown him out. So I presume that means that he will not be getting his post. I have replied that I didnt know (cos I dont), and that when I know I will let him know. Did tell him he had to get on to SS himself about his contact. His son is now 1 year old and he hasnt seen him since March I think it was. Or around there anyway. I do get fed up, that I seem to be the port of call to both the fathers, if they cannot reach anyone.!
I am going to be telling the Head of the department exactly what I think of the whole sorry debacle! I feel as if the whole system has ruined my life, and interfered in the family with major detriment to a normal family life. Lets face it, the support has never been there consistantly for the girls, or for me. The last three years have been hell on earth so much of the time.
It is hard to stay positive and focused at times.
Its always whats next? When I wake up in the morning, I am exhausted, and all I wonder is, who is going to call, or walk through my door that day. Who needs another piece of me.? Can I deal with yet another idiot? Can I support my daughters, son and still have a life? Is this all I have got to look forward to for the rest of my life?
Is being 50 this year, just another depressing milestone to highlight that I will not have a proper pension anymore, and that my future prospects are practically Nil. That I cannot even have a partner that wants to be with me permanantly. My family get in the way. Social services and thier questions get in the way.
My kids cannot even have a stop over/sleep over with out a CRB check. To get babysitter, again, we will need a CRB check. Are they going to do a check on BF's children if we stop there too much?
Can I have my life back please?
I am fed up to the back teeth of years and years of relentlass battling and being at the bottom of the heap.
My Dad gave me a DVD the other day, its some of the family history from the Cine films that he took, between 1965 and 1973 I think.
The days of our childhood on film. Where was I playing? In the game park, Near Nirobi. Where were our weekends spent? Spotting gazelles, elephants, giraffes and monkeys. Running free on the beach in Mombassa. Swimming with my big brother and sister, and my parents.
A carefree and enjoyable child hood, in a wonderful country. Followed by several years in Cyprus with the beach on my door step.
We had home helps, kitchen staff, garden staff and life was good.
I went to boarding school in the early 1970's, and there were Persian princess's in my room. We all came from all over the globe. What stories we all had of our lives. What plans we all had for the future.

What happened to me?