The Great Declutter Part 3 - 2011

HeidiHi

skylight wrote: »

Clear out her room entirely and hand it over to the 6yo. Anything she doesn't want, stick on Ebay or in the loft.

When she comes home, she can share the floor or sofa - how often is she going to be home? Not often I wager and its pretty poor show if she cannot manage a few weeks on the sofa. If she is off to Uni, treat it that she is an adult who is now moving out.

If your place is that small, then needs must.

She will be at Uni for 30 out of 52 weeks and will need to work full time while she is back to fund University

We have a three bedroom house.

Callie22

Get her to put some stuff in a box, and stick it in the attic, under the bed, under the stairs, wherever you can. Tell her to leave it a couple of weeks, and whilst the stuff is gone let her clean and tidy the room up and see how nice it is when it's not cluttered. Then get the box out - in fact, before you do ask her to see if she can actually remember what's in there - and then ask her if she really wants/needs x, y and z. Hopefully she'll realise that she didn't 'need' it, and she no longer wants it either. The same for clothes - there's no way she's wearing 'everything' (don't most of us only wear about 10% of what we own regularly?), so do the box thing with that too. She might get into decluttering too if she sells the stuff on ebay - she's bound to need stuff for uni so it'll be great for her to be able to buy the stuff she needs with cash from the stuff she doesn't.

If all else fails, I personally found that there's nothing like going to uni and moving every term/year to make you realise that 90% of the rubbish you cart around with you, you don't need. Especially when you realise that you have to pay to move/store it ...

ragz_2

skylight wrote: »

Clear out her room entirely and hand it over to the 6yo. Anything she doesn't want, stick on Ebay or in the loft.

When she comes home, she can share the floor or sofa - how often is she going to be home? Not often I wager and its pretty poor show if she cannot manage a few weeks on the sofa. If she is off to Uni, treat it that she is an adult who is now moving out.

If your place is that small, then needs must.

I left home at 17, when I moved back 3 months later I had to sleep on the sofa as my two sisters had the bedroom to themselves. I didn't moan, I just moved out again pretty quick! I don't see how that post is harsh.

Can't remember where I read it but "Don't have anything in your home that you don't know to be useful or believe to be beautiful" - though of course opinions would vary but a good basis for clearing out.

grumpybear_3

I moved out of my room to go to Uni only to have my sister to move in - so they did it all for me!

On the other hand I can see it from your daughter's point of view it is a bit of an unsettling time and while its nice to think about - it is a bit scary too.

Chucking out your old stuff at this stage can be quite an emotional thing to do, which I think is probably why she feels reluctant to part with things at the moment, but once she's in and settled into her new life chucking away the manky hair straigteners or whatever teenage girls keep in their rooms will be a lot easier!

I'd be inclined to have her pack her personal things that she definately wants to keep into a box herself to be kept in a safe place and the stuff that she definately doesnt (old books, magazines etc) into another to be donated or got rid of imediately, once she;s gone she can then allow you to pack the rest of the "don't know" stuff into boxes and shove them in the loft, chances are 6 months or a year later she'll have forgotten all about whats in them and they can be got rid of completely - or gone through at her leisure - though 9 times out of 10 she'll wonder why she ever thought about keeping it!

chanie

She should go for the 'if I have worn/used/read etc it in the last 12 months then its out' rule.

I can totally sympathise, becuase I am reluctant to throw anything away, but when I have done so, I haven't regretted it.

Why not suggest she tries to sell some of her stuff via ebay or a boot sale, as I'm sure the money she'd make would be an incentive.

ali-t

How about checking out the cost of putting stuff into storage and tell her she has to fund it. If it is going to be £10 a week, she has to decide if all of her belongings are worth a £10 a week storage charge. If she decides to get rid and sell stuff on ebay then she can earn money rather than have to pay out for storage. I would imagine that having to pay for it herself will focus the mind.

Whether you make her pay is another matter or just use it as a way to get her to prioritise.

Gingerbiscuit_2

Sounds like some time for tough love, if you don't have the space its not really fair to expect your 6y to live in someones elses room for the next 3y. I would make it the 6y room maybe give it a new coat of paint so its all offical!

Give her some storage space based on what your house can take, maybe a box under bed, or half the wardrobe, a box in the attic. If she has the boxes to fill then she will know how much she needs to get rid of. She will still have space for cuddly toys the sentimental stuff she wants to keep.

If shes off to Uni shes only going acumulate more and more books so she does needs a great big sort out, or else at the end of the first year she will be arriving home with all her worldy possessions +one years of stuff. So its a good time to sell them on ebay, think of the new uni outfits she can buy with that?

Good luck with it all

Emm-in-a-pickle

I`d go for the attic option. This is a bad time to ask a teenager to dump what she might consider precious belongings, or to decide that they aren`t! Give her a few years, then get her to sort through the attic stuff, she`ll laugh about the stuff she kept, but she`ll appreciate that IT`S STILL HOME, folks cared enough to store her stuff for her. Younger sibling needs the space, but doesn`t need to have elder siblings` stuff discarded for her needs. These kids are going to be around for each other hopefully long after their parents aren`t around, don`t push them into cause for resentment.

mickey54

Emm-in-a-pickle wrote: »

I`d go for the attic option. This is a bad time to ask a teenager to dump what she might consider precious belongings, or to decide that they aren`t! Give her a few years, then get her to sort through the attic stuff, she`ll laugh about the stuff she kept, but she`ll appreciate that IT`S STILL HOME, folks cared enough to store her stuff for her. Younger sibling needs the space, but doesn`t need to have elder siblings` stuff discarded for her needs. These kids are going to be around for each other hopefully long after their parents aren`t around, don`t push them into cause for resentment.

My daughter moved out 23 years ago - and I still have her "I can't throw that out" items in the loft. Every time I have a clear out - they always go back up. Does she know what's there - not a hope...but I do.!! Memories....lots of them.

By the way - her younger sister took over her room - and just moved her goods from one room to other....she threw out loads when she moved on. All I ahve left from her is a very small cupboard full. It will all be there when I am gone....lol

maman

mickey54 wrote: »

My daughter moved out 23 years ago - and I still have her "I can't throw that out" items in the loft. Every time I have a clear out - they always go back up. Does she know what's there - not a hope...but I do.!! Memories....lots of them.

By the way - her younger sister took over her room - and just moved her goods from one room to other....she threw out loads when she moved on. All I ahve left from her is a very small cupboard full. It will all be there when I am gone....lol

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:My DD2 moved out at 18 to go to University and 22 years later she finally cleared the stuff from our loft (and that was only because we had to clear it all to have a new roof).

I have sympathy with the OP in that she needs space for the 6y who's sharing her bedroom BUT I think it would be very hurtful to the teenager, off to university, to feel that she was being eradicated from her home. Try and find some storage space and encourage her to take essentials with her.