Here I go again :-)

LAM2011

Yes its a great challenge - I tried for £10k this year but a few hiccups during the year (dont we all have them) and I wont make it but its been great to go on and chat with the others and see how well they are doing and having to 'report' into Jwil has also helped me stay focussed.

May2013

Hi MIT- just read back over your last month...bless you what a roller coaster of a ride you're on.

Just wanted to say what wonderful daughter you are to your Mum - I don't think anyone could do more for her than you are right now

Try in amongst all of this to find just a little time for you.... a lot of people are depending on you right now....don't lose yourself from your list of priorities....((((hugs))))

hypno06

Sorry I made you sad

xx

millionaire_in_training

Aww Hypno you didn't I am sad anyway. May you are so right this is a total roller coaster I am on and tbh I want to get off. I am teary today and trying so hard not to be as my kids get upset when I am. My best friend and I are supposed to be going for lunch and some shopping in Glasgow but the snow has come on :mad:. I reckon no lunch or shopping as I dont want to end up stranded somewhere on the M8 after last years fiasco. Heavy snow is forecast for later in the afternoon so I reckon I would be crazy to set off knowing that. I'll see if she wants to go locally for shopping or not. B*mmer!!

Just looked out my window and noticed that the roofing felt has ripped on my summer house :rotfl:I'm actually laughing now and I think I'll just get drunk . Joking of course but I do feel like it.

Anyway, I need to give myself a shake. I have lots of positives going on too and I just need to remind myself of them. Thanks folks.

Keeping_Positive

Awww hugs MIT I agree with the last line of your post as I have to do that a lot as well. There are positives there its just a shame the negatives always seem to want to compete. Good luck in your 10K challenge I m sure you will at the very least come close given all the pressure around you but then again I wouldnt be surprised to see you smash it!

millionaire_in_training

Well this afternoon was just exactly what I needed. Went for lunch with my friend, we've been really close friends since we were 10 so over 30 years. We have been through loads together and always manage to come out smiling. Quite often with a large glass in hand :rotfl:. SHe has been on holidays with us year on year when we were young so she is devastated as well about my mum. We went for lunch and I had a good old cry and talked through everything with her. It helped loads. My mum is getting a hospital bed delivered tomorrow and this has played hugely on my mind the last couple of days as I know everyone ( medically) is getting ready to help her in her last days and I am really struggling with it. All pretty normal really. However we reckon that my mini breakdown today will mean that tomorrow I will have the strength to see it through and get the bed etc organised with a smile pasted on my face.

Very fruitful afternoon. I have now almost finished my shopping for Christmas and for DS's birthday. I am over budget by a mile :cool: but oh well my life is sh*t just now and I am taking that as my excuse. I got the majority of my mum's shopping done too so I can relax a bit. I'm going to write my cards soon, perhaps tonight and get everything organised as much as I can. I can then concentrate on my mum and enjoy her company for a while.

Seaxwyn

What a lovely person you are - I hope you enjoy some nice time and talks with your mum.

millionaire_in_training

Sea thanks for that but I'm just normal. Truth be told I am grieving already as the mum I knew is gone already, the one I have now is just a poor wee soul who has ended up in her worst nightmare, being so dependant on everyone, I just want to lessen the nightmare a wee bit for her. Sometimes I pray for her to be taken quickly but the guilt from having thoughts like that is terrible. This was what I was talking to my friend about today. If there was any chance of betterness then I would be banging God's door down to help her but all I can pray for now is a peaceful end and so far it is nothing of the sort. Such a shame and I hate hate hate seeing her like this. She falls asleep in her chair and I find myself sitting and watching her as she sleeps. She used to drive me nuts :rotfl:she was such a wee busy body and everything had to be just so. She still likes everything just so and we all do our best to ensure it is so she doesnt get upset by it. I am finding that writing all this on here is very cathartic and definitely helps my mixed up thoughts. My son announcing he was gay ( although he has since changed his mind) pales into insignificance these days :roll eyes smiley:. Thanks for all your lovely caring comments xx

LAM2011

Just popped in to say hello - deliver some hugs and send you some strength for today xx

Hope the arrival of the hospital bed is not too traumatic and your mum will be made very comfy. I understand the range of emotions as my step father died from cancer in his 50's and I went through the same thing - hoping for the pain to end but not wanting to lose him.

Take care of yourself today xx

millionaire_in_training

well today was okay. Not as bad as I thought it would be. Bed has arrived and between that and doc and nurses being in at mum's it was a busy day. Doc was happy with mum and said her chest sounded a bit better than last week so that is good . Now the bed is in I can see the advantages of it as the sides go up and it has an overhanging handle that can be used to pull yourself up. Mum might be able to use that or the side bars to help her get more comfortable. We'll see how it goes. I didnt manage to get to work today as it took so long to sort that all out.

Anyway, to spends. I spent £2.05 on chocolate and a gingerbread . my way of coping unfortunately. Only other spend was kids lunches. I'm supposed to be goin to DS's parents evening tonight but the weather here is horrific and the snow is getting worse so I have cancelled. We stay up a huge hill and we always get the worst of the weather locally. My workmates call me Heidi :rotfl:as when the weather ets bad we can get snowed in for a ouple of days. Last year the kids were off of school for 2 weeks as the buses were unable to get to us . I am hoping that this year will not be so bad as my mum lives about 5 miles away :eek:. I dont fancy walking that :rotfl:. So I am off to feed my hungry children and then iron so I'll catch up later xx